Vampire Encounters: A Darker Moon
by twilightromance4ever
Summary: Bella continues to hide out in Forks, but unseen forces are starting to make it difficult for her to stay hidden and in the shadows. "I could feel them out there. Not just Victoria, but the also the ones that were after me. After my family. It scared me."
1. Chapter 1

Something was wrong. Terribly, horribly wrong.

To an outsider, she would be nothing. Just another girl in a small inconsequential town.

Even to someone who knew her well, she was just a girl that had been dragged into something that was far too big for her to understand. Something that she was much too fragile for.

Shoot, I doubt she even know herself what she really was.

But, I did.

I knew what she was.

I was as sure about her own identity as I was as sure as my own.

When he left, she had become my new reason in this horrid place that I was being forced to stay.

Especially after Alan.

Alan had woken me up but this woman had kept me living.

This woman who had no idea what she was or what she was in store for.

No one-vampire or otherwise-had escaped my scrutiny while I watched over her with my seses at night.

And even if they had, why was she suddenly being targeted for death?

She was created for a different purpose and her death would destroy that purpose.

So did I have an ally that had not revealed their selves to me?

Had she been in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Or was something bigger going on here?

Something so big and so elaborate, that I wouldn't understand until it was too late?

Until she was dead?

* * *

Not by best preface, but this is kind of a hard book to write a preface about. it will get better. promise!

Remember to review!


	2. I shouldn't be celebrated

**Dear readers,**

**Just to be sure we are clear, this is the third book in a series. If you didn't know that, Vampire Encounters: Before the Cullens is the first installment. Please go back and enjoy the other stories before you read this one. Or you will get mightily confused.

* * *

**

I was ninety-nine percent sure I was dreaming.

The reasons that I was so sure that I was dreaming was one-I was back in what I still considered my home town of Star, Mississippi and two, I was looking at Madaline Kress. Madaline or 'Maddie' had been dead for about ten years now. She was the first innocent victim whose life was taken by the vampires that plagued my life and hunted me.

And even if she were to still be alive, she would be my age-not eight.

She hadn't changed much; her face looked just the same as I remembered as her hair hung in beautiful blonde ringlets around her face.

Our mouths spread into the same surprised half smile; she hadn't expected to see me here, either.

I was about to ask her a question; I had so many-what was she doing here in my dream? Had she found peace wherever she was at?-but she opened her mouth at the same time so I stopped to let her go first.

She paused too and then we were hugging. She felt just as fragile as she had so many years ago.

Time seemed to past in the dream and the light started to fade from the sky when someone called my name.

"Bella!"

We both turned to see the addition to our small reunion. I didn't need to look to know who it was; this was a voice I would know anywhere-know, and respond to, whether I was awake or asleep. The voice I'd walk through fire for

–or, less dramatically, slosh every day through the cold and endless rain for.

Edward.

Even though I was always thrilled to see him, I was almost positive this was a dream, and Maddie knew somewhat about vampires, I still panicked when he made his way towards us through the grass.

It was still light enough out to cause him to shine.

What was he doing? He shouldn't be exposing himself like this.

I watched in fascination as he walked the night closed in around us and by the time he reached me-I had left Maddie on the blanket that I didn't know where it came from to meet him halfway-it was dark.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him as I took his hand.

"I wanted to meet your friend," he said in his velvety voice.

"Um, okay," I said.

We walked over to the blanket and Maddie stood up.

"How nice," she sneered and I stared at her.

"Maddie?"

"Is this your little vampire? How nice that you have him."

I watched in amazed horror as little eight year old maddie grew and became eighteen year old maddie right before my eyes.

Edward walked over to her as if in a trance. "Edward?"

"He'll never be eighteen, Bella," she said. A knife suddenly appeared in her hand and she thrust it through his neck. I stared in horror as he kneeled over and disappeared into the ground.

"And neither will I," she said as she fluidly kneeled back down on the ground, her form changing back to being eight.

I heard a click and looked down at my wrist in surprise to see a knife shooter attached to my wrist. I looked up at Maddie in horror.

Her clean complexion was now covered in blood-her eyes vacant and empty and bruises and cuts lining her body. The way she had looked after she had truly died.

In her hands, she held the bloody knife weakly in her bloodied hands as her chest oozed blood.

"Happy Birthday, Bella."

* * *

I woke with a start–my eyelids popping open wide–and gasped. Dull gray light, the familiar light of an overcast morning, took the place of the blinding sun in my dream.

Just a dream, I told myself. It was only a dream. I took a deep breath, and then jumped again when my alarm went off. The little calendar in the corner of the clock's display informed me that today was September thirteenth.

Only a dream, but prophetic enough in one way, at least. Today was my birthday.

I was officially eighteen years old.

I'd been dreading this day for months.

All through the perfect summer–the happiest summer I had ever had, the happiest summer anyone anywhere had ever had, and the rainiest summer in the history of the Olympic Peninsula–this bleak date had lurked in ambush, waiting to spring.

And now that it had hit, it was even worse than I'd feared it would be. I could feel it–I was older. Every day I got older, but this was different, worse, quantifiable.

I was eighteen.

And Maddie never would be.

The last part really hit because I had, in a way, been her true murder. I didn't throw a knife into her heart, but I might as well have.

It was just a dream, I reminded myself again. Just a dream… but also my worst nightmare simply because it was a reality.

I skipped breakfast, in a hurry to get out of the house as quickly as possible. I wasn't entirely able to avoid my dad, and so I had to spend a few minutes acting cheerful. I honestly tried to be excited about the gifts I'd asked him not to get me, but every time I had to smile, it felt like I might start crying.

I struggled to get a grip on myself as I drove to school. The vision of Maddie was hard to get out of my head. I couldn't feel anything but despair until I pulled into the familiar parking lot behind Forks High School and spotted Edward leaning motionlessly against his polished silver Volvo, like a marble tribute to some forgotten pagan god of beauty. The dream had not done him justice. And he was waiting there for me, just the same as every other day.

Despair momentarily vanished; wonder took its place. Even after half a year with him, I still couldn't believe that I deserved this degree of good fortune.

His sister Alice was standing by his side, waiting for me, too.

The sight of Alice waiting there–her tawny eyes brilliant with excitement, and a small silver-wrapped square in her hands–made me frown.

I'd told Alice I didn't want anything, anything, not gifts or even attention, for my birthday. Obviously, my wishes were being ignored.

I slammed the door of my '53 Chevy truck–a shower of rust specks fluttered down to the wet blacktop– and walked slowly toward where they waited. Alice skipped forward to meet me, her pixie face glowing under her spiky black hair.

"Happy birthday, Bella!"

"Shh!" I hissed, glancing around the lot to make sure no one had heard her. The last thing I wanted was some kind of celebration of the black event.

She ignored me. "Do you want to open your present now or later?" she asked eagerly as we made our way to where Edward still waited.

"No presents," I protested in a mumble.

She finally seemed to process my mood. "Okay… later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

I sighed. Of course she would know what my birthday presents were.

"Yeah. They're great."

"I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience."

"How many times have you been a senior?"

"That's different."

We reached Edward then, and he held out his hand for mine. I took it eagerly, forgetting, for a moment, my glum mood. His skin was, as always, smooth, hard, and very cold. He gave my fingers a gentle squeeze. I looked into his liquid topaz eyes, and my heart gave a not-quite-so-gentle squeeze of its own.

Hearing the stutter in my heartbeats, he smiled again.

He lifted his free hand and traced one cool fingertip around the outside of my lips as he spoke. "So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?"

"Yes. That is correct." I could never quite mimic the flow of his perfect, formal articulation.

It was something that could only be picked up in an earlier century.

"Just checking." He ran his hand through his tousled bronze hair. "You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

Alice laughed, and the sound was all silver, a wind chime. "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?" She meant it as a rhetorical question.

"Getting older," I answered anyway, and my voice was not as steady as I wanted it to be.

Beside me, Edward's smile tightened into a hard line.

"Eighteen isn't very old," Alice said. "Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"

"It's older than Edward," I mumbled as my excuse.

He sighed.

"Technically," she said, keeping her tone light. "Just by one little year, though."

And I supposed… if I could be sure of the future I wanted, sure that I would get to spend forever with Edward, and Alice and the rest of the Cullens (preferably not as a wrinkled little old lady)…

then a year or two one direction or the other wouldn't matter to me so much. But Edward was dead set against any future that changed me. Any future that made me like him–that made me immortal, too.

An impasse, he called it.

I couldn't really see Edward's point, to be honest.

What was so great about mortality? Being a vampire didn't look like such a terrible thing–not the way the Cullens did it, anyway.

"What time will you be at the house?" Alice continued, changing the subject. From her expression, she was up to exactly the kind of thing I'd been hoping to avoid.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there."

"Oh, be fair, Bella!" she complained. "You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?"

"I thought my birthday was about what I want."

"I'll get her from Charlie's right after school," Edward told her, ignoring me altogether.

"I have to work," I protested.

"You don't, actually," Alice told me smugly. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"

"I–I still can't come over," I stammered, scrambling for an excuse.

"I, well, I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."

Alice snorted. "You have Romeo and Juliet memorized."

"But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it–that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

"You've already seen the movie," Alice accused.

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Finally, Alice lost the smug smile and glared at me. "This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other–"

I opened my mouth to snap at her but Edward but me to it.

Edward interrupted her threat. "Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday."

"So there," I added.

"I'll bring her over around seven," he continued.

"That will give you more time to set up."

Alice's laughter chimed again. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see."

She grinned–the wide smile exposed all her perfect, glistening teeth–then pecked me on the cheek and danced off toward her first class before I could respond.

"Edward, please–" I started to beg, but he pressed one cool finger to my lips.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."

We walked to class-me sulking the entire way. If he hadn't cut me off, I could have told her absolutely no. Now, though, because I was too polite for my own good, I couldn't.

"Bella," he said outside of our lockers. "Your birth is something to be celebrated."

I was glad I was looking in my locker as the memories flowed.

Maddie-looking terrified as she was chained to a holding device as the vampire stalked towards her.

Jenessa-The McCarthy distant cousin that I had never gotten to know before she had been beheaded. The enemy had burned all of her but her head.

Mike's voice-the fourth wolf- when I had confronted him- "You're no better than the human eating vampires-just as many humans are killed because of you! You might as well be the evil vampire!"

Aaron and his siblings worried as they tried to find a way to keep me safe.

My kids-their faces as they heard I was leaving to keep them safe.

My kids-never being able to go home and see them for a major holiday-not even mother's day.

Angela-chained up to another holding cell and scared when I disappeared in Italy.

Maddie-her weak voice asking me, "Why didn't' you tell me Bella?"

And Mrs Kress, her tearful eyes full of trust as she told me it wasn't my fault for her daughter's death.

But it was. Everything was my fault.

"It's not a big deal," I told Edward as we walked to class.

But really, I just wished I didn't exist.

No one bothered to stare at us as we took our usual seats in the back of the classroom (we had almost every class together now–it was amazing the favors Edward could get the female administrators to do for him). Edward and I had been together too long now to be an object of gossip anymore. Even Mike Newton didn't bother to give me the glum stare that used to make me feel a little guilty.

He smiled now instead, and I was glad he seemed to have accepted that we could only be friends. Mike had changed over the summer–his face had lost some of the roundness, making his cheekbones more prominent, and he was wearing his pale blond hair a new way; instead of bristly, it was longer and gelled into a carefully casual disarray.

It was easy to see where his inspiration came from–but Edward's look wasn't something that could be achieved through imitation.

As the day progressed, I considered ways to get out of whatever was going down at the Cullen house tonight. It would be bad enough to have to celebrate when I was in the mood to mourn. But, worse than that, this was sure to involve attention and gifts.

And I'd very pointedly asked–well, ordered really–that no one give me any presents this year. Even Aaron-who celebrated every little thing it seemed-never wished me a 'happy birthday' since Maddie. Sure we celebrated, but we weren't celebrating my birth. We were celebrating me being alive another year. My birthday was never an event to celebrate.

It looked like Charlie and Renee weren't the only ones who had decided to overlook that.

Edward thought I was being unnecessarily difficult.

But how could I let him give me things when I had nothing to reciprocate with? Not right now, anyways.

He, for some unfathomable reason, wanted to be with me. Anything he gave me on top of that just threw us more out of balance.

As the day went on, neither Edward nor Alice brought my birthday up again, and I began to relax a little.

The afternoon passed quickly. School ended, and Edward walked me to my truck as he usually did. But this time, he held the passenger door open for me. Alice must have been taking his car home so that he could keep me from making a run for it.

I folded my arms and made no move to get out of the rain. "It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?"

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished."

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight…"

"All right." He shut the passenger door and walked past me to open the driver's side. "Happy birthday."

"Shh," I shushed him halfheartedly. I climbed in the opened door, wishing he'd taken the other offer.

Edward played with the radio while I drove, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Your radio has horrible reception."

I frowned. I didn't like it when he picked on my truck. The truck was great–it had personality.

"You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car." I was so nervous about Alice's plans, on top of my already gloomy mood, that the words came out sharper than I'd meant them. I was hardly ever bad-tempered with Edward, and my tone made him press his lips together to keep from smiling.

When I parked in front of Charlie's house, he reached over to take my face in his hands. He handled me very carefully, pressing just the tips of his fingers softly against my temples, my cheekbones, my jawline. Like I was especially breakable.

If I was in a better mood, I might have had to keep myself from laughing at the concept.

"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," he whispered. His sweet breath fanned across my face.

"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" I asked sourly.

His golden eyes smoldered. "Too bad."

My head was already spinning by the time he leaned closer and pressed his icy lips against mine. As he intended, no doubt, I forgot all about my worries, and concentrated on remembering how to inhale and exhale.

His mouth lingered on mine, cold and smooth and gentle, until I wrapped my arms around his neck and threw myself into the kiss with a little too much enthusiasm.

I could feel his lips curve upward as he let go of my face and reached back to unlock my grip on him.

Edward had drawn many careful lines for our physical relationship, with the intent being to keep me alive. Though I respected the need for maintaining a safe distance between my skin and his razor-sharp, venom-coated teeth, I tended to forget about trivial things like that when he was kissing me.

"Be good, please," he breathed against my cheek. He pressed his lips gently to mine one more time and then pulled away, folding my arms across my stomach.

My pulse was thudding in my ears. I put one hand over my heart. It drummed hyperactively under my palm.

"Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" I wondered, mostly to myself. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"

"I really hope not," he said, a bit smug.

I rolled my eyes. "Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?"

"Your wish, my command."

Edward sprawled across the couch while I started the movie, fast-forwarding through the opening credits.

When I perched on the edge of the sofa in front of him, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. It wasn't exactly as comfortable as a sofa cushion would be, what with his chest being hard and cold–and perfect–as an ice sculpture, but it was definitely preferable. He pulled the old afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over me so I wouldn't freeze beside his body.

"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo," he commented as the movie started.

"What's wrong with Romeo?" I asked, a little offended. Romeo was one of my favorite fictional characters. Until I'd met Edward, I'd sort of had a thing for him.

"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline–don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"

I sighed. "Do you want me to watch this alone?"

"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway." His fingers traced patterns across the skin of my arm, raising goose bumps. "Will you cry?"

"Probably," I admitted, "if I'm paying attention."

"I won't distract you then." But I felt his lips on my hair, and it was very distracting.

The movie eventually captured my interest, thanks in large part to Edward whispering Romeo's lines in my ear–his irresistible, velvet voice made the actor's voice sound weak and coarse by comparison. And I did cry, to his amusement, when Juliet woke and found her new husband dead.

"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," Edward said, drying the tears with a lock of my hair.

"She's very pretty."

He made a disgusted sound. "I don't envy him the girl–just the ease of the suicide," he clarified in a teasing tone. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…"

"What?" I gasped.

"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning… after he realized what he'd become…" His voice, which had grown serious, turned light again. "And he's clearly still in excellent health."

I twisted around so that I could read his face. "What are you talking about?" I demanded. "What do you mean, this something you had to think about once?"

"Last spring, when you were… nearly killed…"

He paused to take a deep breath, snuggling to return to his teasing tone. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

For one second, the memory of my last trip to Phoenix washed through my head and made me feel dizzy. Unthinkingly, my fingers traced the crescent-shaped scar on my hand that was always just a few degrees cooler than the rest of my skin.

I shook my head–as if I could shake away the bad memories–and tried to grasp what Edward meant. My stomach plunged uncomfortably. "Contingency plans?" I repeated.

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." He rolled his eyes as if that fact were childishly obvious. "But I wasn't sure how to do it–I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help…so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."

I didn't want to believe he was serious, but his golden eyes were brooding, focused on something far away in the distance as he contemplated ways to end his own life. Abruptly, I was furious.

"What is a Volturi?" I demanded, playing my roll, but meanwhile making plans to make absolute certain that they knew if anyone of the Cullens were harmed they would have a _very_ pissed off elemental to deal with.

"The Volturi are a family," he explained, his eyes still remote. "A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America–do you remember the story?"

"Of course I remember."

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi," Edward went on, interrupting my reverie. "Not unless you want to die–or whatever it is we do." His voice was so calm, it made him sound almost bored by the prospect.

My anger turned to horror. I took his marble face between my hands and held it very tightly.

"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again!" I said. "No matter what might ever happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!"

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point."

"Put me in danger! I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault?" I was getting angrier. "How dare you even think like that?" The idea of Edward ceasing to exist, even if I were dead, was impossibly painful.

"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" he asked.

"That's not the same thing."

He didn't seem to understand the difference. He chuckled.

"What if something did happen to you?" I blanched at the thought. "Would you want me to go off myself?"

A trace of pain touched his perfect features.

"I guess I see your point… a little," he admitted. "But what would I do without you?"

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence."

He sighed. "You make that sound so easy."

"It should be. I'm not really that interesting."

He was about to argue, but then he let it go. "Moot point," he reminded me. Abruptly, he pulled himself up into a more formal posture, shifting me to the side so that we were no longer touching.

"Dad?" I guessed.

Edward smiled. After a moment, I heard the sound of the police cruiser pulling into the driveway. I reached out and took his hand firmly. My dad could deal with that much.

Dad came in with a pizza box in his hands.

"Hey, kids." He grinned at me. "I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?"

"Sure. Thanks, Dad."

dad didn't comment on Edward's apparent lack of appetite. He was used to Edward passing on dinner.

"Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?" Edward asked when Charlie and I were done.

I looked at my dad hopefully. Maybe he had some concept of birthdays as stay-at-home, family affairs–this was my first birthday with him, the first birthday since I had to end my visits with him to go see my kids and then run around the world away from 'Bella-thirsty' vampires.

"That's fine–the Mariners are playing the Sox tonight," Charlie explained, and my hope disappeared. "So I won't be any kind of company… Here." He scooped up the camera he'd gotten me on Renee's suggestion (because I would need pictures to fill up my scrap-book), and threw it to me.

The camera glanced off the tip of my finger, and tumbled toward the floor. Edward snagged it before it could crash onto the linoleum.

"Nice save," Charlie noted. "If they're doing something fun at the Cullens' tonight, Bella, you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets–she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them."

"Good idea, Charlie," Edward said, handing me the camera.

I turned the camera on Edward, and snapped the first picture. "It works."

"That's good. Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while." Dad's mouth pulled down at one corner and I smirked.

"It's been three days, Dad," I reminded him. My dad was crazy about Alice. He'd become attached last spring when she'd helped me through my awkward convalescence; my father would be forever grateful to her for saving him from the horror of an almost-adult daughter who needed help showering. "I'll tell her."

"Okay. You kids have fun tonight." It was clearly a dismissal. Dad was already edging toward the living room and the TV.

Edward smiled, triumphant, and took my hand to pull me from the kitchen.

When we got to the truck, he opened the passenger door for me again, and this time I didn't argue. I still had a hard time finding the obscure turnoff to his house in the dark.

Edward drove north through Forks, visibly chafing at the speed limit enforced by my prehistoric Chevy. The engine groaned even louder than usual as he pushed it over fifty.

"Take it easy," I warned him.

"You know what you would love? A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power…" Yes, actually, I would but it would draw lots of attention to me so I'd rather not.

Okay? Okay.

"There's nothing wrong with my truck. And speaking of expensive nonessentials, if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on birthday presents."

"Not a dime," he said virtuously.

"Good."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"That depends on what it is."

He sighed, his lovely face serious. "Bella, the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited."

It always startled me a little when he brought up things like that. "Fine, I'll behave."

"I probably should warn you…"

"Please do."

"When I say they're all excited… I do mean all of them."

"Everyone?" I choked. "I thought Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa."

The rest of Forks was under the impression that the older Cullens had gone off to college this year, to Dartmouth, but I knew better.

"Emmett wanted to be here."

"But… Rosalie?"

"I know, Bella. Don't worry, she'll be on her best behavior."

Actually, the feeling was a little bit stronger than just dislike. As far as Rosalie was concerned, I was an unwelcome intruder into her family's secret life. She didn't flat out hate me and want me dead, but she wouldn't exactly mourn me either if I simply disappeared from her family's life.

I felt horribly guilty about the present situation, guessing that Rosalie and Emmett's prolonged absence was my fault, even as I furtively enjoyed not having to see her Emmett, Edward's playful bear of a brother, I did miss.

He was in many ways just like the big brother I'd always wanted… only much, much more terrifying.

Edward decided to change the subject. "So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?"

The words came out in a whisper. "You know what I want."

A deep frown carved creases into his marble forehead. He obviously wished he'd stuck to the subject of Rosalie.

It felt like we'd had this argument a lot today.

"Not tonight, Bella. Please."

"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want."

Edward growled–a deep, menacing sound. "This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella," he vowed.

"That's not fair!"

I thought I heard his teeth clench together.

I had probably been nagging on him since I had baby Jasper. I longer to tell him about me, about his _son_…but I couldn't. Not until he had proven himself to me.

It seemed incredibly selfish, but I was doing it to protect my family. Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper came first, even if I had to lie and fight their fathers' to keep them safe.

We were pulling up to the house now. Bright light shined from every window on the first two floors. A long line of glowing Japanese lanterns hung from the porch eaves, reflecting a soft radiance on the huge cedars that surrounded the house. Big bowls of flowers–pink roses–lined the wide stairs up to the front doors.

I moaned.

_I'm not worth celebrating!_ I wanted to scream. _Humans and good vampires have died because I'm alive! What is so good about that?_

Edward took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "This is a party," he reminded me. "Try to be a good sport."

"Sure," I muttered.

He came around to get my door, and offered me his hand.

"I have a question."

He waited warily.

"If I develop this film," I said, toying with the camera in my hands, "will you show up in the picture?"

Edward started laughing. He helped me out of the car, pulled me up the stairs, and was still laughing as he opened the door for me.

They were all waiting in the huge white living room; when I walked through the door, they greeted me with a loud chorus of "Happy birthday, Bella!" while I blushed and looked down.

Alice, I assumed, had covered every flat surface with pink candles and dozens of crystal bowls filled with hundreds of roses. There was a table with a white cloth draped over it next to Edward's grand piano, holding a pink birthday cake, more roses, a stack of glass plates, and a small pile of silver-wrapped presents.

It was a hundred times worse than I'd imagined.

Edward, sensing my distress, wrapped an encouraging arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme–impossibly youthful and lovely as ever–were the closest to the door. Esme hugged me carefully, her soft, caramel-colored hair brushing against my cheek as she kissed my forehead, and then Carlisle put his arm around my shoulders.

"Sorry about this, Bella," he stage-whispered. "We couldn't rein Alice in."

Rosalie and Emmett stood behind them. Rosalie didn't smile, but at least she didn't glare.

Emmett's face was stretched into a huge grin. It had been months since I'd seen them; I'd forgotten how gloriously beautiful Rosalie was–it almost hurt to look at her.

And had Emmett always been so… big?

"You haven't changed at all," Emmett said with mock disappointment. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

"Thanks a lot, Emmett," I said, blushing deeper.

He laughed, "I have to step out for a second"–he paused to wink conspicuously at Alice–

"Don't do anything funny while I'm gone."

"I'll try."

Alice let go of Jasper's hand and skipped forward, all her teeth sparkling in the bright light.

Jasper smiled, too, but kept his distance. He leaned, long and blond, against the post at the foot of the stairs. During the days we'd had to spend cooped up together in Phoenix, I'd thought he'd gotten over his aversion to me. But he'd gone back to exactly how he'd acted before–avoiding me as much as possible–the moment he was free from that temporary obligation to protect me.

I knew it wasn't personal, just a precaution, and I tried not to be overly sensitive about it. Jasper had more trouble sticking to the Cullens' diet than the rest of them; the scent of human blood was much harder for him to resist than the others–he hadn't been trying as long.

"Time to open presents," Alice declared. She put her cool hand under my elbow and towed me to the table with the cake and the shiny packages.

I put on my best martyr face. "Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything–"

"But I didn't listen," she interrupted, smug.

"Open it." She took the camera from my hands and replaced it with a big, square silver box.

The box was so light that it felt empty. The tag on top said that it was from Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper. Self-consciously, I tore the paper off and then stared at the box it concealed.

It was something electrical, with lots of numbers in the name. I opened the box, hoping for further illumination. But the box was empty.

"Um… thanks."

Rosalie actually cracked a smile. Jasper laughed. "It's a stereo for your truck," he explained.

"Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it."

Alice was always one step ahead of me. "Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," I told them, grinning as I remembered Edward's complaints about my radio this afternoon–all a setup, apparently.

"Thanks, Emmett!" I called more loudly.

I heard his booming laugh from my truck, and I couldn't help laughing, too.

"Open mine and Edward's next,"

Alice said, so excited her voice was a high-pitched trill. She held a small, flat square in her hand.

I turned to give Edward a basilisk glare. "You promised."

Before he could answer, Emmett bounded through the door. "Just in time!" he crowed. He pushed in behind Jasper, who had also drifted closer than usual to get a good look.

"I didn't spend a dime," Edward assured me.

He brushed a strand of hair from my face, leaving my skin tingling from his touch.

I inhaled deeply and turned to Alice. "Give it to me," I sighed.

I took the little package, rolling my eyes at Edward while I stuck my finger under the edge of the paper and jerked it under the tape.

"Shoot," I muttered when the paper sliced my finger; I pulled it out to examine the damage.

A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.

It all happened very quickly then-and since I was pushing my powers away, I didn't have enough time to subtley react without drawing attention.

"No!" Edward roared.

He threw himself at me, flinging me back across the table. It fell, as I did, scattering the cake and the presents, the flowers and the plates. I landed in the mess of shattered crystal.

Jasper slammed into Edward, and the sound was like the crash of boulders in a rock slide.

There was another noise, a grisly snarling that seemed to be coming from deep in Jasper's chest. Jasper tried to shove past Edward, snapping his teeth just inches from Edward's face.

Emmett grabbed Jasper from behind in the next second, locking him into his massive steel grip, but Jasper struggled on, his wild, empty eyes focused only on me.

Beyond the shock, there was also pain. I'd tumbled down to the floor by the piano, with my arms thrown out instinctively to catch my fall, into the jagged shards of glass. Only now did I feel the searing, stinging pain that ran from my wrist to the crease inside my elbow.

Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm–into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.

Crap.

* * *

What did you think of the dream? Hope you liked it.

**crimson-goth-girl**: Well...here's the first chapter. Hopefully i can get the sneak peek to you soon!

**Dani-1811**: All will make sence...not so shortly. lol

**Andrew'sAmy:** You will understand soon enough :)

**lexistar10**: haha, yeah. I specifically didn't use names. :)

**dazzleme787**: haha, yeah pretty much. i like your last review on HBT, by the way. It amused me :)


	3. Leaving

Carlisle was the only one who stayed calm. Centuries of experience in the emergency room were evident in his quiet, authoritative voice.

"Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside."

Unsmiling for once, Emmett nodded. "Come on, Jasper."

Jasper struggled against Emmett's unbreakable grasp, twisting around, reaching toward his brother with his bared teeth, his eyes still past reason.

Edward's face was whiter than bone as he wheeled to crouch over me, taking a clearly defensive position. A low warning growl slid from between his clenched teeth. I could tell that he wasn't breathing.

Rosalie, her divine face strangely smug, stepped in front of Jasper–keeping a careful distance from his teeth–and helped Emmett wrestle him through the glass door that Esme held open, one hand pressed over her mouth and nose.

Esme's heart-shaped face was ashamed. "I'm so sorry, Bella," she cried as she followed the others into the yard.

"Let me by, Edward," Carlisle murmured.

A second passed, and then Edward nodded slowly and relaxed his stance.

Carlisle knelt beside me, leaning close to examine my arm. I could feel the shock frozen on my face, and I tried to compose it.

"Here, Carlisle," Alice said, handing him a towel.

He shook his head. "Too much glass in the wound."

He reached over and ripped a long, thin scrap from the bottom of the white tablecloth. He twisted it around my arm above the elbow to form a tourniquet. "Bella," Carlisle said softly. "Do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"

"Here, please," I whispered. If he took me to the hospital, there would be no way to keep this from dad.

"I'll get your bag," Alice said.

"Let's take her to the kitchen table," Carlisle said to Edward.

Edward lifted me effortlessly, while Carlisle kept the pressure steady on my arm.

"How are you doing, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm fine." My voice was reasonably steady, which pleased me.

Edward's face was like stone.

Alice was there. Carlisle's black bag was already on the table, a small but brilliant desk light plugged into the wall. Edward sat me gently into a chair, and Carlisle pulled up another. He went to work at once.

Edward stood over me, still protective, still not breathing.

"Just go, Edward," I sighed.

"I can handle it," he insisted. But his jaw was rigid; his eyes burned with the intensity of the thirst he fought, so much worse for him than it was for the others.

"You don't need to be a hero," I said. "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air."

I winced as Carlisle did something to my arm that stung. I glanced down quickly to make sure it wasn't Penni. It wasn't; it was Novocain.

"I'll stay," he said.

"Why are you so masochistic?" I mumbled.

Carlisle decided to intercede. "Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he gets too far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."

"Yes," I eagerly agreed. "Go find Jasper."

"You might as well do something useful," Alice added.

Edward's eyes narrowed as we ganged up on him, but, finally, he nodded once and sprinted smoothly through the kitchen's back door. I was sure he hadn't taken a breath since I'd sliced my finger.

A numb, dead feeling was spreading through my arm.

Though it erased the sting, it reminded me of the gash, and I watched Carlisle's face carefully to distract me from what his hands were doing. His hair gleamed gold in the bright light as he bent over my arm.

If she hadn't been in my line of sight, I wouldn't have noticed Alice give up and steal out of the room. With a tiny, apologetic smile on her lips, she disappeared through the kitchen doorway.

"Well, that's everyone," I sighed. "I can clear a room, at least."

"It's not your fault," Carlisle comforted me with a chuckle. "It could happen to anyone."

"Could," I repeated. "But it usually just happens to me."

He laughed again.

His relaxed calm was only more amazing set in direct contrast with everyone else's reaction. I couldn't find any trace of anxiety in his face.

He worked with quick, sure movements. The only sound besides our quiet breathing was the soft plink, plink as the tiny fragments of glass dropped one by one to the table.

"How can you do this?" I demanded. "Even Alice and Esme…" I trailed off, shaking my head in wonder. Though the rest of them had given up the traditional diet of vampires just as absolutely as Carlisle had, he was the only one who could bear the smell of my blood without suffering from the intense temptation. Clearly, this was much more difficult than he made it seem.

"Years and years of practice," he told me. "I barely notice the scent anymore."

"Do you think it would be harder if you took a vacation from the hospital for a long time. And weren't around any blood?"

"Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders, but his hands remained steady. "I've never felt the need for an extended holiday." He flashed a brilliant smile in my direction. "I enjoy my work too much."

We talked a bit more as he continued to work on my arm when the subject of vampires and souls came up.

"I'm sure all this sounds a little bizarre, coming from a vampire." He grinned. "But I'm hoping that there is still a point to this life, even for us. It's a long shot, I'll admit," he continued in an offhand voice. "By all accounts, we're damned regardless. But I hope, maybe foolishly, that we'll get some measure of credit for trying."

"I don't think that's foolish," I mumbled.

I couldn't imagine anyone, deity included, who wouldn't be impressed by Carlisle. Besides, the only kind of heaven I could appreciate would have to include Edward.

"And I don't think anyone else would, either."

"Actually, you're the very first one to agree with me."

"The rest of them don't feel the same?" I asked, surprised, thinking of only one person in particular.

Carlisle guessed the direction of my thoughts again. "Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist… and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind."

Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness.

"You see, he thinks we've lost our souls."

I immediately thought of Edward's words this afternoon: unless you want to die–or whatever it is that we do. The lightbulb flicked on over my head.

"That's the real problem, isn't it?" I guessed. "That's why he's being so difficult about me."

Carlisle spoke slowly. "I look at my… son. His strength, his goodness, the brightness that shines out of him–and it only fuels that hope, that faith, more than ever. How could there not be more for one such as Edward?"

I was silent for a moment until I spoke again. "Carlisle, I know this sounds crazy, but have you ever seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"

As predicted he chuckled. "Yes, in fact. The entire family actually quite enjoyed that series, regardless of how wrong they were about the vampires."

I nodded. "Good, then you can get my point. I'm talking about the two main vampires in the series, angel and spike. Now Angel was a good vampires and hated what he had done and all that but once he had lost his soul he didn't care about what was right and wrong, he just wanted to kill and cause misery.

Spike, on the other hand, once he fell in love with Buffy he changed completely. He didn't have the complete remorse he felt when he had his soul but he still did good. He didn't have to help Buffy and the gang fight the vampires, but he did.

Now, compare Edward to Angel. What Edward thinks that when he was human he was 'angel' and now that he's a vampire he 'angelus.' If that's the case, then he shouldn't want to be with me, he should only want to kill my family and slaughter the entire town. But, he doesn't. Therefore, he must surely still have a soul."

Carlisle smiled at me. "You are very good at putting things in perspective, Bella. But Edward will hear nothing of it. And if you believed as he did, could you take away his soul?"

I frowned and he smiled at me. "I suppose I should take you home now."

"I'll do that," Edward said. He came through the shadowy dining room, walking slowly for him. His face was smooth, unreadable, but there was something wrong with his eyes–something he was trying very hard to hide. I felt a spasm of unease in my stomach.

"Carlisle can take me," I said. I looked down at my shirt; the light blue cotton was soaked and spotted with my blood. My right shoulder was covered in thick pink frosting.

"I'm fine." Edward's voice was unemotional. "You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something." He strode out the kitchen door again.

I looked at Carlisle anxiously. "He's very upset."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "Tonight is exactly the kind of thing that he fears the most. You being put in danger, because of what we are."

"It's not his fault."

"It's not yours, either."

I looked away from his wise, beautiful eyes. I couldn't agree with that.

Carlisle offered me his hand and helped me up from the table. I followed him out into the main room. Esme had come back; she was mopping the floor where I'd fallen–with straight bleach from the smell of it.

"Esme, let me do that." I could feel that my face was bright red again.

"I'm already done." She smiled up at me. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine," I assured her. "Carlisle sews faster than any other doctor I've had."

They both chuckled.

Alice and Edward came in the back doors. Alice hurried to my side, but Edward hung back, his face indecipherable.

As I looked at his face, I felt myself sink into despair.

This was it.

Tonight, or in a couple of days, he would leave me. And taking into account how tightly knit his family was, they would leave with him.

Tears brimmed my eyes.

"C'mon," Alice said. "I'll get you something less macabre to wear."

She found me a shirt of Esme's that was close to the same color mine had been. dad wouldn't notice, I was sure. The long white bandage on my arm didn't look nearly as serious when I was no longer spattered in gore. dad was never surprised to see me bandaged.

"Alice," I whispered as she headed back to the door.

"Yes?" She kept her voice low, too, and looked at me curiously, her head cocked to the side.

"How bad is it?" I couldn't be sure if my whispering was a wasted effort. Even though we were upstairs, with the door closed, perhaps he could hear me.

Her face tensed. "I'm not sure yet."

"How's Jasper?"

She sighed. "He's very unhappy with himself. It's all so much more of a challenge for him, and he hates feeling weak."

"It's not his fault. You'll tell him that I'm not mad at him, not at all, won't you?"

"Of course."

Before we went downstairs, I hugged her. "Thank you for everything."

She hugged me back, surprised. "I'm sorry it turned out such a mess."

I pulled back from her. "It's not your fault."

Edward was waiting for me by the front door. As I got to the bottom of the staircase, he held it open without a word.

"Take your things!" Alice cried as I walked warily toward Edward. She scooped up the two packages, one half-opened, and my camera from under the piano, and pressed them into my good arm. "You can thank me later, when you've opened them."

Esme and Carlisle both were content with saying a quiet goodnight, but I wrapped one arm around each of them in a quick hug. I knew I wouldn't see them again, at least not for a very long time.

It was a relief to be outside; I hurried past the lanterns and the roses, now unwelcome reminders. Edward kept pace with me silently. He opened the passenger side for me, and I climbed in without complaint.

On the dashboard was a big red ribbon, stuck to the new stereo. I pulled it off, throwing it to the floor. As Edward slid into the other side, I kicked the ribbon under my seat.

He didn't look at me or the stereo. Neither of us switched it on, and the silence was somehow intensified by the sudden thunder of the engine. He drove too fast down the dark, serpentine lane.

The silence was making me insane.

"Say something," I finally begged as he turned onto the freeway.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked in a detached voice.

I cringed at his remoteness. "Tell me you forgive me."

That brought a flicker of life to his face–a flicker of anger. "Forgive you? For what?"

"If I'd been more careful, nothing would have happened."

"Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut–that hardly deserves the death penalty."

"It's still my fault."

My words opened up the floodgate.

"Your fault? If you'd cut yourself at Mike Newton's house, with Jessica there and Angela and your other normal friends, the worst that could possibly have happened would be what? Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage? If you'd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your own–without someone throwing you into them–even then, what's the worst? You'd get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room? Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stitched you up–and he wouldn't be fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted with myself."

"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?" I demanded.

"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be a hell of a lot healthier for you to be with," he growled.

"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton," I protested. "I'd rather die than be with anyone but you."

"Don't be melodramatic, please."

"Well then, don't you be ridiculous."

He didn't answer. He glared through the windshield, his expression black.

I racked my brain for some way to salvage the evening. When we pulled up in front of my house, I still hadn't come up with anything.

He killed the engine, but his hands stayed clenched around the steering wheel.

"Will you stay tonight?" I asked.

"I should go home."

The last thing I wanted was for him to go wallow in remorse.

"For my birthday," I pressed.

"You can't have it both ways–either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don't. One or the other."

His voice was stern, but not as serious as before. I breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"Okay. I've decided that I don't want you to ignore my birthday. I'll see you upstairs."

I hopped out, reaching back in for my packages. He frowned.

"You don't have to take those."

"I want them," I responded automatically, and then wondered if he was using reverse psychology.

"No, you don't. Carlisle and Esme spent money on you."

"I'll live." I tucked the presents awkwardly under my good arm and slammed the door behind me. He was out of the truck and by my side in less than a second.

"Let me carry them, at least." he said as he took them away. "I'll be in your room."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"Happy birthday," he sighed, and leaned down to touch his lips to mine.

I reached up on my toes to make the kiss last longer when he pulled away. He smiled my favorite crooked smile, and then he disappeared into the darkness.

The game was still on; as soon as I walked through the front door I could hear the announcer rambling over the babble of the crowd.

"Bell?" Dad called.

"Hey, Dad," I said as I came around the corner. I held my arm close to my side. The slight pressure burned, and I wrinkled my nose. The anesthetic was apparently losing its effectiveness.

"How was it?" dad lounged across the sofa with his bare feet propped up on the arm.

What was left of his curly brown hair was crushed flat on one side.

"Alice went overboard. Flowers, cake, candles, presents–the whole bit."

"What did they get you?"

"A stereo for my truck." And various unknowns.

"Wow."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Well, I'm calling it a night."

"I'll see you in the morning."

I waved. "See ya."

"What happened to your arm?"

I flushed and cursed silently. "I tripped. It's nothing."

"Bella," he sighed, shaking his head.

"Goodnight, Dad."

I hurried up to the bathroom, where I kept my pajamas for just such nights as these. I shrugged into the matching tank top and cotton pants that I'd gotten to replace the holey sweats I used to wear to bed, wincing as the movement pulled at the stitches. I washed my face one-handed, brushed my teeth, and then skipped to my room.

He was sitting in the center of my bed, toying idly with one of the silver boxes.

"Hi," he said. His voice was sad. He was wallowing.

I went to the bed, pushed the presents out of his hands, and climbed into his lap.

"Hi." I snuggled into his stone chest. "Can I open my presents now?"

"Where did the enthusiasm come from?" he wondered.

"You made me curious."

I picked up the long flat rectangle that must have been from Carlisle and Esme.

"Allow me," he suggested. He took the gift from my hand and tore the silver paper off with one fluid movement. He handed the rectangular white box back to me.

"Are you sure I can handle lifting the lid?" I muttered, but he ignored me.

Inside the box was a long thick piece of paper with an overwhelming amount of fine print. It took me a minute to get the gist of the information.

"We're going to Jacksonville?" And I was excited, in spite of myself. It was a voucher for plane tickets, for both me and Edward.

"That's the idea."

"I can't believe it. Renee is going to flip! You don't mind, though, do you? It's sunny, you'll have to stay inside all day."

"I think I can handle it," he said, and then frowned. "If I'd had any idea that you could respond to a gift this appropriately, I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and Esme. I thought you'd complain."

"Well, of course it's too much. But I get to take you with me!"

He chuckled. "Now I wish I'd spent money on your present. I didn't realize that you were capable of being reasonable."

I set the tickets aside and reached for his present, my curiosity rekindled. He took it from me and unwrapped it like the first one.

He handed back a clear CD jewel case, with a blank silver CD inside.

"What is it?" I asked, perplexed.

He didn't say anything; he took the CD and reached around me to put it in the CD player on the bedside table. He hit play, and we waited in silence. Then the music began.

I listened, speechless and wide-eyed. I knew he was waiting for my reaction, but I couldn't talk. Tears welled up, and I reached up to wipe them away before they could spill over.

"Does your arm hurt?" he asked anxiously.

"No, it's not my arm. It's beautiful, Edward. You couldn't have given me anything I would love more. I can't believe it." I shut up, so I could listen.

It was his music, his compositions. The first piece on the CD was my lullaby.

"I didn't think you would let me get a piano so I could play for you here," he explained.

"You're right."

"How does your arm feel?"

"Just fine." Actually, it was starting to blaze under the bandage. I wanted ice. I would have settled for his hand, but that would have given me away.

"I'll get you some Tylenol."

"I don't need anything," I protested, but he slid me off his lap and headed for the door.

"my dad," I hissed. dad wasn't exactly aware that Edward frequently stayed over. In fact, he would have a stroke if that fact were brought to his attention. But I didn't feel too guilty for deceiving him It wasn't as if we were up to anything he wouldn't want me to be up to. Edward and his rules…

"He won't catch me," Edward promised as he disappeared silently out the door . . and returned, catching the door before it had swung back to touch the frame. He had the glass from the bathroom and the bottle of pills in one hand.

I took the pills he handed me without arguing–I knew I would lose the argument. And my arm really was starting to bother me.

My lullaby continued, soft and lovely, in the background.

"It's late," Edward noted. He scooped me up off the bed with one arm, and pulled the cover back with the other. He put me down with my head on my pillow and tucked the quilt around me. He lay down next to me–on top of the blanket so I wouldn't get chilled–and put his arm over me.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed happily.

"Thanks again," I whispered.

"You're welcome."

It was quiet for a long moment as I listened to my lullaby drift to a close. Another song began. I recognized Esme's favorite.

"What are you thinking about?'" I wondered in a whisper.

He hesitated for a second before he told me. "I was thinking about right and wrong, actually."

I felt a chill tingle along my spine.

"Remember how I decided that I wanted you to not ignore my birthday?" I asked quickly, hoping it wasn't too clear that I was trying to distract him.

"Yes," he agreed, wary.

"Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again."

"You're greedy tonight."

"Yes, I am–but please, don't do anything you don't want to do," I added, piqued.

He laughed, and then sighed. "Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do," he said in a strangely desperate tone as he put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up to his.

The kiss began much the same as usual–Edward was as careful as ever, and my heart began to overreact like it always did. And then something seemed to change. Suddenly his lips became much more urgent, his free hand twisted into my hair and held my face securely to his. And, though my hands tangled in his hair, too, and though I was clearly beginning to cross his cautious lines, for once he didn't stop me. His body was cold through the thin quilt, but I crushed myself against him eagerly.

When he stopped it was abrupt; he pushed me away with gentle, firm hands.

I collapsed back onto my pillow, gasping, my head spinning. Something tugged at my memory, elusive, on the edges.

"Sorry," he said, and he was breathless, too. "That was out of line."

"I don't mind," I panted.

He frowned at me in the darkness. "Try to sleep. Bella."

"No, I want you to kiss me again."

"You're overestimating my self-control."

"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?" I challenged.

"It's a tie." He grinned briefly in spite of himself, and then was serious again. "Now, why don't you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep?"

"Fine," I agreed, snuggling closer to him. I really did feel exhausted. It had been a long day in so many ways, yet I felt no sense of relief at its end. Almost as if something worse was coming tomorrow. I tried not to think about that. There would be plenty of time for crying later.

Trying to be sneaky about it, I pressed my injured arm against his shoulder, so his cool skin would soothe the burning. It felt better at once.

I was halfway asleep, maybe more, when I realized what his kiss had reminded me of: last spring, when he'd had to leave me to throw James off my trail, Edward had kissed me goodbye, not knowing when–or if–we would see each other again. This kiss had the same almost painful edge for some reason I couldn't imagine.

I went to sleep, with Aaron yelling profanities at Edward in my head.

I felt absolutely hideous in the morning. I hadn't slept well; my arm burned and my head ached. It didn't help my outlook that Edward's face was smooth and remote as he kissed my forehead quickly and ducked out my window. I was afraid of the time I'd spent unconscious, afraid that he might have been thinking about right and wrong again while he watched me sleep. The anxiety seemed to ratchet up the intensity of the pounding in my head.

Edward was waiting for me at school, as usual, but his face was still wrong. There was something buried in his eyes that I couldn't be sure of–and it scared me. I didn't want to bring up last night, but I wasn't sure if avoiding the subject would be worse.

He opened my door for me.

"How do you feel?"

"Perfect," I lied, cringing as the sound of the slamming door echoed in my head.

The next two days were tedious and hard. I knew that the Cullens had already left and I was simply waiting for the time he would leave.

Two days after my birthday, After school, Edward and I were going to talk it out, I promised myself. I wasn't accepting any excuses.

He walked me to my truck, and I steeled myself to make my demands.

"Do you mind if I come over today?" he asked before we got to the truck, beating me to the punch.

"Of course not."

"Now?" he asked again, opening my door for me.

"Sure," I kept my voice even, though I didn't like the urgency in his tone. "I was just going to drop a letter for mom in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there."

He looked at the fat envelope on the passenger seat. Suddenly, he reached over me and snagged it.

"I'll do it," he said quietly. "And I'll still beat you there." He smiled my favorite crooked smile, but it was wrong. It didn't reach his eyes.

"Okay," I agreed, unable to smile back. He shut the door, and headed toward his car.

I knew then, that this was it. He was leaving.

_Today._

He did beat me home. He was parked in Dad's spot when I pulled up in front of the house. I shook my head and took a deep breath, trying to locate some courage.

He got out of his car when I stepped out of the truck, and came to meet me. He reached to take my book bag from me. That was normal. But he shoved it back onto the seat. That was not normal.

"Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking my hand.

I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to.

But he didn't wait for an answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. How could I get him to stay?

We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail–I could still see the house.

Some walk.

Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable.

"Okay, let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt.

He took a deep breath.

"Bella, we're leaving."

I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option, if only he had planned on taking me with him. Still, I tried to play dumb.

"Why now? Another year–"

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

"When you say we–," I whispered.

"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.

I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.

"Okay," I said. "I'll come with you."

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going… It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you, Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."

Second best, I amended in my head. I was dimly aware of Aaron's presence as his mind surrounded my own-trying to offer what little comfort he could.

"My world is not for you," he said grimly.

"What happened with Jasper–that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

"You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay–"

"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me–somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you–it's yours already!"

He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder–like the liquid gold had frozen solid.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.

There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.

"You… don't… want me?"

I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

"No."

In my head, Aaron roared in fury and was joined by who I assumed was my kids.

I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz–hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken.

"Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded.

It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense.

He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."

He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had.

"You're not good for me, Bella."

Had he seen past my lies? How could he possibly know that?

But I couldn't deny, that what he said was true.

I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried again.

"If… that's what you want."

He nodded once.

My whole body went numb. I couldn't feel anything below the neck.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," he said.

I wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face in response. But, before I could identify it, he'd composed his features into the same serene mask.

"Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.

As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I nodded helplessly.

His eyes cooled, the distance returned. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself–for him."

I nodded again. "I will," I whispered.

He seemed to relax just a little.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

My knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. I could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away.

He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human–your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like I was choking.

"Well"–he hesitated for a short second–"I won't forget. But my kind… we're very easily distracted."

He smiled; the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes.

He took a step away from me. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

The plural caught my attention. That surprised me; I would have thought I was beyond noticing anything.

"Alice isn't coming back," I realized.

I don't know how he heard me–the words made no sound–but he seemed to understand.

He shook his head slowly, always watching my face.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" My voice was blank with disbelief.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

I was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate. His words swirled around in my head, and I heard the doctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed me the X-rays. You can see it's a clean break, his finger traced along the picture of my severed bone. That's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly.

I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare.

"Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice.

"Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.

I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed.

"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin.

There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.

He was gone.

With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed him into the forest.

The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.

Love, life, meaning… over.

I walked and walked. Time made no sense as I pushed slowly through the thick undergrowth. It was hours passing, but also only seconds. Maybe it felt like time had frozen because the forest looked the same no matter how far I went. I started to worry that I was traveling in a circle, a very small circle at that, but I kept going. I stumbled often, and, as it grew darker and darker, I fell often, too.

At some point in the back of my mind, I was aware of Aaron yelling at me to turn around; to go home. I couldn't process his words enough to understand them though, much less obey them.

Finally, I tripped over something–it was black now, I had no idea what caught my foot–and I stayed down. I rolled onto my side, so that I could breathe, and curled up on the wet bracken.

As I lay there, I had a feeling that more time was passing than I realized. I couldn't remember how long it had been since nightfall. Was it always so dark here at night? Surely, as a rule, some little bit of moonlight would filter down through the clouds, through the chinks in the canopy of trees, and find the ground.

Not tonight. Tonight the sky was utterly black. It was black for a long time before I heard them calling.

Someone was shouting my name. It was muted, muffled by the wet growth that surrounded me, but it was definitely my name. I didn't recognize the voice. I thought about answering, but I was dazed, and it took a long time to come to the conclusion that I should answer. By then, the calling had stopped.

Sometime later, the rain woke me up. I don't think I'd really fallen asleep; I was just lost in an unthinking stupor, holding with all my strength to the numbness that kept me from realizing what I didn't want to know.

The rain bothered me a little. It was cold. I unwrapped my arms from around my legs to cover my face.

It was then that I heard the calling again. It was farther away this time, and sometimes it sounded like several voices were calling at once. I tried to breathe deeply. I remembered that I should answer, but I didn't think they would be able to hear me. Would I be able to shout loud enough?

Suddenly, there was another sound, startlingly close. A kind of snuffling, an animal sound. It sounded big. I wondered if I should feel afraid. I didn't–just numb. It didn't matter. The snuffling went away.

The rain continued, and I could feel the water pooling up against my cheek. I was trying to gather the strength to turn my head when I saw the light.

At first it was just a dim glow reflecting off the bushes in the distance. It grew brighter and brighter, illuminating a large space unlike the focused beam of a flashlight. The light broke through the closest brush, and I could see that it was a propane lantern, but that was all I could see–the brightness blinded me for a moment.

"Bella."

The voice was deep and unfamiliar, but full of recognition. He wasn't calling my name to search, he was acknowledging that I was found.

I stared up–impossibly high it seemed–at the dark face that I could now see above me. I was vaguely aware that the stranger probably only looked so tall because my head was still on the ground.

"Have you been hurt?"

I knew the words meant something, but I could only stare, bewildered. How could the meaning matter at this point?

"Bella, my name is Sam Uley."

There was nothing familiar about his name.

"Charlie sent me to look for you."

Dad? That struck a chord, and I tried to pay more attention to what he was saying.

Dad mattered, if nothing else did.

The tall man held out a hand. I gazed at it, not sure what I was supposed to do.

His black eyes appraised me for a second, and then he shrugged. In a quick and supple notion, he pulled me up from the ground and into his arms.

I hung there, limp, as he loped swiftly through the wet forest. Some part of me knew this should upset me–being carried away by a stranger. But there was nothing left in me to upset.

It didn't seem like too much time passed before there were lights and the deep babble of many male voices. Sam Uley slowed as he approached the commotion.

"I've got her!" he called in a booming voice.

The babble ceased, and then picked up again with more intensity. A confusing swirl of faces moved over me. Sam's voice was the only one that made sense in the chaos, perhaps because my ear was against his chest.

"No, I don't think she's hurt," he told someone. "She just keeps saying 'He's gone.'"

Was I saying that out loud? I bit down on my lip.

"Bella, honey, are you all right?"

That was one voice I would know anywhere–even distorted, as it was now, with worry.

"Daddy?" My voice sounded strange and small.

"I'm right here, baby."

There was a shifting under me, followed by the leathery smell of my dad's sheriff jacket.

Dad staggered under my weight.

"Maybe I should hold on to her," Sam Uley suggested.

"I've got her," Dad said, a little breathless.

He walked slowly, struggling. I wished I could tell him to put me down and let me walk, but I couldn't find my voice.

There were lights everywhere, held by the crowd walking with him. It felt like a parade. Or a funeral procession. I closed my eyes.

"We're almost home now, honey," dad mumbled now and then.

I opened my eyes again when I heard the door unlock. We were on the porch of our house, and the tall dark man named Sam was holding the door for my dad, one arm extended toward us, as if he was preparing to catch me when dad's arms failed.

But he managed to get me through the door and to the couch in the living room.

"Dad, I'm all wet," I objected feebly.

"That doesn't matter." His voice was gruff. And then he was talking to someone else.

"Blankets are in the cupboard at the top of the stairs."

"Bella?" a new voice asked. I looked at the gray-haired man leaning over me, and recognition came after a few slow seconds.

"Dr. Gerandy?" I mumbled.

"That's right, dear," he said. "Are you hurt, Bella?"

It took me a minute to think that through. I was confused by the memory of Sam Uley's similar question in the woods. Only Sam had asked something else: Have you been hurt? he'd said. The difference seemed significant somehow.

Dr. Gerandy was waiting. One grizzled eyebrow rose, and the wrinkles on his forehead deepened.

"I'm not hurt," I lied. The words, were true enough for what he'd asked.

His warm hand touched my forehead, and his fingers pressed against the inside of my wrist. I watched his lips as he counted to himself, his eyes on his watch.

"What happened to you?" he asked casually.

I froze under his hand, tasting panic in the back of my throat.

"Did you get lost in the woods?" he prodded. I was aware of several other people listening.

Three tall men with dark faces–from La Push, the Quileute Indian reservation down on the coastline, I guessed–Sam Uley among them, were standing very close together and staring at me.

Mr. Newton was there with Mike and Mr. Weber, Angela's father; they all were watching me more surreptitiously than the strangers. Other deep voices rumbled from the kitchen and outside the front door. Half the town must have been looking for me.

Dad was the closest. He leaned in to hear my answer.

"Yes," I whispered. "I got lost."

The doctor nodded, thoughtful, his fingers probing gently against the glands under my jaw.

Dad's face hardened.

"Do you feel tired?" Dr. Gerandy asked.

I nodded and closed my eyes obediently.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with her," I heard the doctor mutter to my dad after a moment. "Just exhaustion. Let her sleep it off, and I'll come check on her tomorrow," he paused. He must have looked at his watch, because he added, "Well, later today actually."

There was a creaking sound as they both pushed off from the couch to get to their feet.

"Is it true?" dad whispered. Their voices were farther away now. I strained to hear. "Did they leave?"

"Dr. Cullen asked us not to say anything," Dr. Gerandy answered. "The offer was very sudden; they had to choose immediately. Carlisle didn't want to make a big production out of leaving."

"A little warning might have been nice," dad grumbled.

Dr. Gerandy sounded uncomfortable when he replied. "Yes, well, in this situation, some warning might have been called for."

I didn't want to listen anymore. I felt around for the edge of the quilt someone had laid on top of me, and pulled it over my ear.

I drifted in and out of alertness. I heard dad whisper thanks to the volunteers as, one by one, they left. I felt his fingers on my forehead, and then the weight of another blanket. The phone rang a few times, and he hurried to catch it before it could wake me. He muttered reassurances in a low voice to the callers.

"Yeah, we found her. She's okay. She got lost. She's fine now," he said again and again.

I heard the springs in the armchair groan when he settled himself in for the night.

A few minutes later, the phone rang again.

Dad moaned as he struggled to his feet, and then he rushed, stumbling, to the kitchen I pulled my head deeper under the blankets, not wanting to listen to the same conversation again.

"Yeah," dad said, and yawned.

His voice changed, it was much more alert when he spoke again. "Where?'" There was a pause. "You're sure it's outside the reservation?" Another short pause. "But what could be burning out there?" He sounded both worried and mystified. "Look, I'll call down there and check it out."

I listened with more interest as he punched in a number.

"Hey, Billy, it's Charlie–sorry I'm calling so early… no, she's fine. She's sleeping… Thanks, but that's not why I called. I just got a call from Mrs. Stanley, and she says that from her second-story window she can see fires out on the sea cliffs, but I didn't really… Oh!"

Suddenly there was an edge in his voice–irritation… or anger. "And why are they doing that? Uh huh. Really?"

He said it sarcastically. "Well, don't apologize to me. Yeah, yeah. Just make sure the flames don't spread… I know, I know, I'm surprised they got them lit at all in this weather."

dad hesitated, and then added grudgingly. "Thanks for sending Sam and the other boys up. You were right–they do know the forest better than we do. It was Sam who found her, so I owe you one… Yeah, I'll talk to you later," he agreed, still sour, before hanging up.

dad muttered something incoherent as he shuffled back to the living room.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He hurried to my side.

"I'm sorry I woke you, honey."

"Is something burning?"

"It's nothing," he assured me. "Just some bonfires out on the cliffs."

"Bonfires?" I asked. My voice didn't sound curious. It sounded dead.

Charlie frowned. "Some of the kids from the reservation being rowdy," he explained.

"Why?" I wondered dully.

I could tell he didn't want to answer. He looked at the floor under his knees. "They're celebrating the news." His tone was bitter.

There was only one piece of news I could think of, try as I might not to. And then the pieces snapped together. "Because the Cullens left," I whispered. "They don't like the Cullens in La Push–I'd forgotten about that."

The Quileutes had their superstitions about the "cold ones," the blood-drinkers that were enemies to their tribe, just like they had their legends of the great flood and wolf-men ancestors. Just stories, folklore, to most of them. Then there were the few that believed.

The name stirred something inside me, something that began to claw its way toward the surface, something I knew I didn't want to face.

"It's ridiculous," dad spluttered.

We sat in silence for a moment. The sky was no longer black outside the window.

Somewhere behind the rain, the sun was beginning to rise.

"Bella?" dad asked.

I looked at him uneasily.

"He left you alone in the woods?" Charlie guessed.

I deflected his question. "How did you know where to find me?" My mind shied away from the inevitable awareness that was coming, coming quickly now.

"Your note," Charlie answered surprised. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a much-abused piece of paper. It was dirty and damp, with multiple creases from being opened and refolded many times. He unfolded it again, and held it up as evidence. The messy handwriting was remarkably close to my own.

Going for a walk with Edward, up the path, it said. Back soon, B.

"When you didn't come back, I called the Cullens, and no one answered," dad said in a low voice. "Then I called the hospital, and Dr. Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone."

"Where did they go?" I mumbled.

He stared at me. "Didn't Edward tell you?"

I shook my head, recoiling. The sound of his name unleashed the thing that was clawing inside of me–a pain that knocked me breathless, astonished me with its force.

dad eyed me doubtfully as he answered. "Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles. I guess they threw a lot of money at him."

Sunny L.A. The last place they would really go. Agony ripped through me with the memory of his face.

"I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods," dad insisted.

His name sent another wave of torture through me. I shook my head, frantic, desperate to escape the pain. "It was my fault. He left me right here on the trail, in sight of the house… but I tried to follow him."

dad started to say something; childishly, I covered my ears. "I can't talk about this anymore, Dad. I want to go to my room."

Before he could answer, I scrambled up from the couch and lurched my way up the stairs.

Aaron tried to calm me down but I was beyond comforting now.

Someone had been in the house to leave a note for dad, a note that would lead him to find me. From the minute that I'd realized this, a horrible suspicion began to grow in my head. I rushed to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me before I ran to the CD player by my bed.

Everything looked exactly the same as I'd left it. I pressed down on the top of the CD player.

The latch unhooked, and the lid slowly swung open.

It was empty.

The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed, just where I'd put it last. I lifted the cover with a shaking hand.

I didn't have to flip any farther than the first page. The little metal corners no longer held a picture in place. The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across the bottom: Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th.

I stopped there. I was sure that he would have been very thorough.

It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me.

I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.

The agony pushed Aaron's voice from my mind and I sunk down into the darkness.

I screamed.

* * *

So, after this, the chapters shouldn't be as similar as the books. i'll try to change it up more, promise :) Also, the reason she didn't recognize Sam was because she was so out of sorts that nothing made sense to her.

**Cullenlover0118:** Thanks, i'm glad you liked it!

**kyky xx 123:** Well, the wolves know about her as well as the Elders, the McCarthys obviously, and her dad. Though her dad has a mecanism that keeps him from remembering when there is a vampire near by. The prophecy...well...basically it's saying she will have a good number of kids, many heartaches and hardships before she gets any peace in her life and that there will be a big battle at the end that she has to overcome.

**canis lupus lover**: The chapters will start becoming more my own after this.

**Cerriddwen:** haha, thanks! also, we kinda beat you for snow over here in Washington, USA. Thanksgiving usually marks the beginning of Christmas season for us and having snow before then just doesn't happen. All of last week was cancelled because of snow and Thanksgiving. It was great. We had a white Thanksgiving :)

**TwiGurl1863:** thank you!

**RomFicGurl**: Is that a good thing that it scared you? I'm glad you liked it! The next chapter will be more my own. Promise

**GreenEyedAngel**: yeah, if she told them first it'd make for a bit of a boring story, i think. And, thank you!

**lexistar10:** Thanks! And for a bit, yeah she is. But not for as long as SM's version. She be back to her a**-kicking self eventually!


	4. Waking Up and A Fight

They couldn't have planned it any better on their part.

But it just made it all the more worse for me.

All I know, is that mid-December something strong enough and something threatening enough broke through the darkness that penetrated my mind and brought me back into awareness.

I didn't know what it was and-to be honest-I didn't have much of a desire to go looking for whatever was after me.

So, instead I went to downstairs to eat breakfast with dad.

Which didn't go quite as planned as I found out when my dad's fist came down on the table. "That's it, Bella! I'm sending you home."

I looked up from my cereal, which I was pondering rather than eating, and stared at dad in shock. I hadn't been following the conversation–actually, I hadn't been aware that we were having a conversation–and I wasn't sure what he meant.

"I am home," I mumbled, confused.

"I'm sending you to Renee, to Jacksonville," he clarified.

Dad watched with exasperation as I slowly grasped the meaning of his words.

"What did I do?" I felt my face crumple. It was so unfair. My behavior had been above reproach for the past two and a half months. After that first week, which neither of us ever mentioned, I hadn't missed a day of school or work. My grades were perfect. I never broke curfew–I never went anywhere from which to break curfew in the first place. I only very rarely served leftovers.

Dad was scowling.

"You didn't do anything. That's the problem. You never do anything."

"You want me to get into trouble?" I wondered, my eyebrows pulling together in mystification. I made an effort to pay attention. It wasn't easy. I was so used to tuning everything out, my ears felt stopped up.

"Trouble would be better than this… this moping around all the time!"

That stung a bit. I'd been careful to avoid all forms of moroseness, moping included.

"I am not moping around."

"Wrong word," he grudgingly conceded. "Moping would be better–that would be doing something. You're just… lifeless, Bella. I think that's the word I want."

This accusation struck home. I sighed and tried to put some animation into my response.

"I'm sorry, Dad." My apology sounded a little flat, even to me. I'd thought I'd been fooling him. Keeping dad from suffering was the whole point of all this effort.

How depressing to think that the effort had been wasted.

"I don't want you to apologize."

I sighed. "Then tell me what you do want me to do."

"Bella," he hesitated, scrutinizing my reaction to his next words. "Honey, you're not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know."

"I know that." My accompanying grimace was limp and unimpressive.

"Listen, honey. I think that–that maybe you need some help."

"Help?"

He paused, searching for the words again. "When your mother left," he began, frowning," and took you with her." He inhaled deeply. "Well, that was a really bad time for me."

"I know, Dad," I mumbled.

"But I handled it," he pointed out. "Honey, you're not handling it. I waited, I hoped it would get better." He stared at me and I looked down quickly. "I think we both know it's not getting better."

"I'm fine."

He ignored me. "Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional."

"You want me to see a shrink?" My voice was a shade sharper as I realized what he was getting at.

"Maybe it would help."

"And maybe it wouldn't help one little bit."

I didn't know much about psychoanalysis, but I was pretty sure that it didn't work unless the subject was relatively honest. Sure, I could tell the truth–if I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell.

He examined my obstinate expression, and switched to another line of attack.

"It's beyond me, Bella. Maybe your mother–"

"Look," I said in a flat voice. "I'll go out tonight, if you want. I'll call Jess or Angela."

"That's not what I want," he argued, frustrated. "I don't think I can live through seeing you try harder. I've never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch."

I pretended to be dense, looking down at the table. "I don't understand, Dad. First you're mad because I'm not doing anything, and then you say you don't want me to go out."

"I want you to be happy–no, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable. I think you'll have a better chance if you get out of Forks."

My eyes flashed up with the first small spark of feeling I'd had in too long to contemplate.

"I'm not leaving," I said.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"I'm in my last semester of school–it would screw everything up."

"You're a good student–you'll figure it out."

"I don't want to crowd Mom and Phil."

"Your mother's been dying to have you back."

"Florida is too hot."

His fist came down on the table again. "We both know what's really going on here, Bella, and it's not good for you." He took a deep breath. "It's been months. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can't keep waiting for him."

I glowered at him. "I'm not waiting for anything, dad. He left and he's not coming back. You don't think I'm not fully aware of that fact? Especially now?"

It _was_ December after all-Christmas season.

"Bella–," dad began, his voice thick.

"I have to get to school," I interrupted, standing up and yanking my untouched breakfast from the table. I dumped my bowl in the sink without pausing to wash it out. I couldn't deal with any more conversation.

"I'll make plans with Jessica," I called over my shoulder as I strapped on my school bag, not meeting his eyes. "Maybe I won't be home for dinner. We'll go to Port Angeles and watch a movie."

I was out the front door before he could react.

In my haste to get away from dad, I ended up being one of the first ones to school. The plus side was that I got a really good parking spot. The downside was that I had free time on my hands, and I tried to avoid free time at all costs.

Quickly, before I could start thinking about dad's accusations, I pulled out my Calculus book. I flipped it open to the section we should be starting today, and tried to make sense of it. Reading math was even worse than listening to it, but I was getting better at it. In the last several months, I'd spent ten times the amount of time on Calculus than I'd ever spent on math before.

As a result, I was managing to keep in the range of a low A. I knew Mr. Varner felt my improvement was all due to his superior teaching methods. And if that made him happy, I wasn't going to burst his bubble.

So, I studied calculus.

'_Or'_ said a voice I hadn't heard in several months._ 'You could talk to me! Remember me? The one over in Ireland taking care of our kids? The one who was been so worried that it took most of his siblings and his son to keep me from heading over to Forks to see you?'_

I winced. '_Sorry, Aaron.'_

'_Oh, it's all good, Bella!'_ Jason joined in. '_We got to have fun!'_

I heard the taunting in Jason's voice and my lips formed a ghost of a smile.

'_What I miss?'_ I asked.

I immediately felt Aaron's panic. _'Nothing! Nothing! You missed absolutely nothing! Nothing happened! Same as usual, but no. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.'_

Jason laughed gleefully. _'Didn't it?'_

I could feel Aaron's glare. _'I will _kick_ your sorry…'_

I felt Jason send him a private message before he rejoined the 'group' conversation. '_Don't you dare.'_ Aaron warned him.

Jason just laughed. '_Bro, I know how to take you down now. Your threats aren't as threatening no more. Older sibling prevails!'_

Despite myself, I smiled. Their sibling banter always amused me.

See, for years, Aaron-though he was the middle child-had been the unofficial leader of the originals (what we called the first vampire generation of McCarthys) because he had more experience at being a vampire and he knew how to take each one of them down. Jason, being the oldest, was not going to stand by idly and let his younger brother take lead so he immediately began challenging the others. There were two ways to get to the top. The first way was to actually be stronger or as strong as the others. Jason was neck and neck with Aaron on that part. The other part though, was to get the other to beg for mercy. Whether it be through pain, being extremely annoying during the fighting, or-like in Jessica's case-tickling the crap out of them.

In that respect, Jason had yet to best Aaron.

'_Until now_!' Jason cheered in my head.

Despite myself, I laughed. '_Are you going to tell me what it is you did or are you just going to cheer about it?'_

Aaron groaned. '_Jason….'_

'_Whoa._' I said. _'Hold on a second. Did Aaron just _whine_?'_

Jason laughed and I heard his siblings join in.

'_Oh, it was great, Bella!'_ Leslie said. _'You missed it!'_

'_That's great, now wanna tell me what exactly _it_ is?'_

Jason chuckled darkly as Aaron's embarrassment became palpable. _'Aaron's ticklish.'_

I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped. _'Nuh uh.'_

'_Yeah, huh. And I found the only spot completely by accident too. Oh, Bella, it was fantastic!'_

'_Yeah,'_ Jessica added. '_Now I'm not the only one who's ticklish.'_

I sent them my skepticism_. 'I doubt that Aaron is that ticklish guys.'_

Leslie laughed. _'Oh, he's not. Just that one spot, though. Girl, it sends him over the edge pretty darn fast.'_

'_Yeah, when I first found it, he squeaked.'_ Jason told me.

Aaron piped up. '_I did not _squeak_, Jason.'_

'_Yeah, you did bro. It was hilarious.'_

I cut in. '_Do I get to know where he's ticklish?'_

'_NO!'_ Aaron yelled immediately. His siblings just laughed.

'_Nowhere special…just the back of his knees'_ Jessica told me smugly.

I laughed, but asked Jason, '_How did you find that out? Last time I checked, you usually don't tackle the knees when you're fighting.' _

'_Like I said, Bella. Complete accident.'_

'_Did you exploit it?'_

'_Chick, do you not know me at all? Hell yeah, we did!'_

'_He didn't realize we had found out,_' Leslie told me. _'So he wasn't expecting us to do anything. So when we pinned him down and tackled him the next day, he didn't know what the heck was going on. When we starting walking our fingers up his legs, he figured it out but by then it was too late and we had him secure.'_

I laughed to myself as I got out of my truck and headed towards class so I wouldn't be late for English.

'_Did he beg_'? I asked them.

Jessica answered me-smug. '_Within the first five minutes!'_

'_Nuh uh!_' I said. Even for me and Jessica-the supposedly most ticklish out of our little group, we could last at least eight minutes before the begging started.

'_Yep!_' Jessica gloated. '_And girl, we exploited it good. I'm pretty sure we could have demanded him to go to a strip club and he would have.'_

I laughed silently as I slid into my seat for English.

'_That ticklish, huh?'_ I asked them.

'_Oh yeah,'_ Jason told me._ 'It's just in those two spots, but he's way bad.'_

I smiled as class started.

'_Oh, Aaron…_' I told him. '_You are in for it now.'_

His only reply was a half-hearted, embarrassed growl.

* * *

In English, We were working on Animal Farm, an easy subject matter. I didn't mind communism; it was a welcome change from the exhausting romances that made up most of the curriculum. I settled into my seat, pleased by the distraction of Mr. Berty's lecture.

Time moved easily while I was in school. The bell rang all too soon. I started repacking my bag.

"Bella?"

I recognized Mike's voice, and I knew what his next words would be before he said them.

"Are you working tomorrow?"

I looked up. He was leaning across the aisle with an anxious expression. Every Friday he asked me the same question. Never mind that I hadn't taken so much as a sick day. Well, with one exception, months ago. But he had no reason to look at me with such concern. I was a model employee.

'_Yeah, Bella' _Alexis snorted. '_I'm sure that is what has him worried.'_

"Tomorrow is Saturday, isn't it?" I said. Having just had it pointed out to me by dad, I realized how lifeless my voice really sounded. Though it was much better now that I had a conversation with the McCarthy siblings. Finding out Aaron-who had tickle tortured me a good number of times-was ticklish, also helped out quite a bit.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed. "See you in Spanish." He waved once before turning his back. He didn't bother walking me to class anymore.

I trudged off to Calculus with a grim expression. This was the class where I sat next to Jessica.

It had been weeks, maybe months, since Jess had even greeted me when I passed her in the hall. I knew I had offended her with my antisocial behavior, and she was sulking. It wasn't going to be easy to talk to her now–especially to ask her to do me a favor. I weighed my options carefully as I loitered outside the classroom, procrastinating.

I wasn't about to face my dad again without some kind of social interaction to report. I knew I couldn't lie, though the thought of driving to Port Angeles and back alone–being sure my odometer reflected the correct mileage, just in case he checked–was very tempting.

Jessica's mom was the biggest gossip in town, and Charlie was bound to run into Mrs. Stanley sooner rather than later. When he did, he would no doubt mention the trip. Lying was out.

With a sigh, I shoved the door open.

Mr. Varner gave me a dark look–he'd already started the lecture. I hurried to my seat. Jessica didn't look up as I sat next to her. I was glad that I had fifty minutes to mentally prepare myself.

This class flew by even faster than English. A small part of that speed was due to my goody-goody preparation this morning in the truck–but mostly it stemmed from the fact that time always sped up when I was looking forward to something unpleasant.

I grimaced when Mr. Varner dismissed the class five minutes early. He smiled like he was being nice.

"Jess?" My nose wrinkled as I cringed, waiting for her to turn on me.

She twisted in her seat to face me, eyeing me incredulously. "Are you talking to me, Bella?"

"Of course." I widened my eyes to suggest innocence.

"What? Do you need help with Calculus?" Her tone was a tad sour.

"No." I shook my head. "Actually, I wanted to know if you would… go to the movies with me tonight? I really need a girls' night out." The words sounded stiff, like badly delivered lines, and she looked suspicious.

"Why are you asking me?" she asked, still unfriendly.

"You're the first person I think of when I want girl time." I smiled, and I hoped the smile looked genuine. It was probably true. She was at least the first person I thought of when I wanted to avoid dad. I wasn't ready to deal with Angela yet. Besides, It amounted to the same thing.

She seemed a little mollified. "Well, I don't know."

"Do you have plans?"

"No… I guess I can go with you. What do you want to see?"

"I'm not sure what's playing," I hedged. This was the tricky part. I racked my brain for a clue–hadn't I heard someone talk about a movie recently? Seen a poster? "How about that one with the female president?"

She looked at me oddly. "Bella, that one's been out of the theater forever."

"Oh." I frowned. "Is there anything you'd like to see?"

Jessica's natural bubbliness started to leak out in spite of herself as she thought out loud.

"Well, there's that new romantic comedy that's getting great reviews.

I want to see that one. And my dad just saw Dead End and he really liked it."

I grasped at the promising title. "What's that one about?"

"Zombies or something. He said it was the scariest thing he'd seen in years."

"That sounds perfect." I'd rather deal with real zombies than watch a romance.

"Okay." She seemed surprised by my response. I tried to remember if I liked scary movies, but I wasn't sure. "Do you want me to pick you up after school?" she offered.

"Sure."

Jessica smiled at me with tentative friendliness before she left. My answering smile was just a little late, but I thought that she saw it.

The rest of the day passed quickly, my thoughts focused on planning for tonight. I knew from experience that once I got Jessica talking, I would be able to get away with a few mumbled responses at the appropriate moments. Only minimal interaction would be required.

The thick haze that blurred my days now was sometimes confusing. I was surprised when I found myself in my room, not clearly remembering the drive home from school or even opening the front door. But that didn't matter. Losing track of time was the most I asked from life.

I yanked the old purse I rarely used off the nail it hung from, and shoved the door shut.

Just then I heard a horn honking. I swiftly traded my wallet from my schoolbag into the purse. I was in a hurry, as if rushing would somehow make the night pass more quickly.

I glanced at myself in the hall mirror before I opened the door, arranging my features carefully into a smile and trying to hold them there.

"Thanks for coming with me tonight," I told Jess as I climbed into the passenger seat, trying to infuse my tone with gratitude. It had been a while since I'd really thought about what I was saying to anyone besides dad. Jess was harder. I wasn't sure which were the right emotions to fake.

"Sure. So, what brought this on?" Jess wondered as she drove down my street.

"Brought what on?"

"Why did you suddenly decide… to go out?" It sounded like she changed her question halfway through.

I shrugged. "Just needed a change."

"Okay…" She stared out the windshield with wide eyes.

"So what's up with you and Mike these days?" I asked quickly.

"You see him more than I do."

The question hadn't started her talking like I'd hoped it would.

"It's hard to talk at work," I mumbled, and then I tried again. "Have you been out with anyone lately?"

"Not really. I go out with Conner sometimes. I went out with Eric two weeks ago." She rolled her eyes, and I sensed a long story. I clutched at the opportunity.

"Eric Yorkie? Who asked who?"

She groaned, getting more animated. "He did, of course! I couldn't think of a nice way to say no."

"Where did he take you?" I demanded, knowing she would interpret my eagerness as interest. "Tell me all about it."

She launched into her tale, and I settled into my seat, more comfortable now. I paid strict attention, murmuring in sympathy and gasping in horror as called for. When she was finished with her Eric story, she continued into a Conner comparison without any prodding.

The movie was playing early, so Jess thought we should hit the twilight showing and eat later. I was happy to go along with whatever she wanted; after all, I was getting what I wanted–dad off my back.

I kept Jess talking through the previews, so I could ignore them more easily. But I got nervous when the movie started. A young couple was walking along a beach, swinging hands and discussing their mutual affection with gooey falseness. I resisted the urge to cover my ears and start humming. I had not bargained for a romance.

"I thought we picked the zombie movie," I hissed to Jessica.

"This is the zombie movie."

"Then why isn't anyone getting eaten?" I asked desperately.

She looked at me with wide eyes that were almost alarmed. "I'm sure that part's coming," she whispered.

"I'm getting popcorn. Do you want any?"

"No, thanks."

Someone shushed us from behind.

I took my time at the concession counter, watching the clock and debating what percentage of a ninety-minute movie could be spent on romantic exposition. I decided ten minutes was more than enough, but I paused just inside the theater doors to be sure. I could hear horrified screams blaring from the speakers, so I knew I'd waited long enough.

"You missed everything," Jess murmured when I slid back into my seat. "Almost everyone is a zombie now."

"Long line." I offered her some popcorn. She took a handful.

The rest of the movie was comprised of gruesome zombie attacks and endless screaming from the handful of people left alive, their numbers dwindling quickly. I would have thought there was nothing in that to disturb me. But I felt uneasy, and I wasn't sure why at first.

"Maybe it's because she's a zombie," Emmett said, laughing.

It wasn't until almost the very end, as I watched a haggard zombie shambling after the last shrieking survivor, that I realized what the problem was. The scene kept cutting between the horrified face of the heroine, and the dead, emotionless face of her pursuer, back and forth as it closed the distance.

And I realized which one resembled me the most.

I stood up.

"Where are you going? There's, like, two minutes left," Jess hissed.

"I need a drink," I muttered as I raced for the exit.

I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony.

But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn't seen that one coming.

Not that I hadn't dreamed of becoming a mythical monster once–just never a grotesque, animated corpse. I shook my head to dislodge that train of thought, feeling panicky.

It was depressing to realize that I wasn't the heroine anymore, that my story was over.

'_Girl, what the heck are you talking about? Did you hit your head on the way down in your descent to darkness? Your story is far from over girl,' _Leslie told me as I wallowed.

Jessica came out of the theater doors and hesitated, probably wondering where the best place was to search for me. When she saw me, she looked relieved, but only for a moment. Then she looked irritated.

"Was the movie too scary for you?" she wondered.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I guess I'm just a coward."

"That's funny." She frowned. "I didn't think you were scared–I was screaming all the time, but I didn't hear you scream once. So I didn't know why you left."

I shrugged. "Just scared."

She relaxed a little. "That was the scariest movie I think I've ever seen. I'll bet we're going to have nightmares tonight."

"No doubt about that," I said, trying to keep my voice normal. It was inevitable that I would have nightmares, but they wouldn't be about zombies. Her eyes flashed to my face and away.

Maybe I hadn't succeeded with the normal voice.

"Where do you want to eat?" Jess asked.

"I don't care."

"Okay."

Jess started talking about the male lead in the movie as we walked. I nodded as she gushed over his hotness, unable to remember seeing a non-zombie man at all.

I didn't watch where Jessica was leading me. I was only vaguely aware that it was dark and quieter now. It took me longer than it should have to realize why it was quiet. Jessica had stopped babbling. I looked at her apologetically, hoping I hadn't hurt her feelings.

Jessica wasn't looking at me. Her face was tense; she stared straight ahead and walked fast.

As I watched, her eyes darted quickly to the right, across the road, and back again.

I glanced around myself for the first time.

We were on a short stretch of unlit sidewalk. The little shops lining the street were all locked up for the night, windows black. Half a block ahead, the streetlights started up again, and I could see, farther down, the bright golden arches of the McDonald's she was heading for.

Across the street there was one open business. The windows were covered from inside and there were neon signs, advertisements for different brands of beer, glowing in front of them.

The biggest sign, in brilliant green, was the name of the bar–One-Eyed Pete's. I wondered if there was some pirate theme not visible from outside. The metal door was propped open; it was dimly lit inside, and the low murmur of many voices and the sound of ice clinking in glasses floated across the street. Lounging against the wall beside the door were four men.

Even though I knew it wasn't the same men, my mind flashed to that night so long ago and I wished more than anything for this night to be over.

As we rode home, I waited for the numbness to return, or the pain.

But relief was still the strongest emotion in my body–relief that came from the very core of my being.

As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget.

I worried–late in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defenses–that it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them.

Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to live–I had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure. So long as he existed.

That's why I was more trapped in Forks than I ever had been before, why I'd fought with dad when he suggested a change. Honestly, it shouldn't matter; no one was ever coming back here.

But if I were to go to Jacksonville, or anywhere else bright and unfamiliar, how could I be sure he was real? In a place where I could never imagine him, the conviction might fade… and that I could not live through.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.

I was surprised when Jessica stopped the car in front of my house. The ride had not taken long, but, short as it seemed, I wouldn't have thought that Jessica could go that long without speaking.

"Thanks for going out with me, Jess," I said as I opened my door. "That was…fun." I hoped that fun was the appropriate word.

"See you Monday?"

"Yeah. Bye."

I gave up and shut the door. She drove away, still without looking at me.

Dad was waiting for me in the middle of the hall, his arms folded tight over his chest with his hands balled into fists.

"Hey, Dad," I said absentmindedly as I ducked around him, heading for the stairs. I'd been thinking about him for too long, and I wanted to be upstairs before it caught up with me.

"Where have you been?" he demanded.

I looked at my dad, surprised. "I went to a movie in Port Angeles with Jessica. Like I told you this morning."

"Humph," he grunted.

"Is that okay?"

He studied my face, his eyes widening as if he saw something unexpected.

"Yeah, that's fine. Did you have fun?"

"Sure," I said. "We watched zombies eat people. It was great."

His eyes narrowed.

"'Night, Dad."

He let me pass. I hurried to my room.

I lay in my bed a few minutes later, resigned as the pain finally made its appearance.

It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.

And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain–the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head–but it was manageable. I could live through it. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.

Whatever it was that had happened tonight–and whether it was the zombies, the adrenaline, or the hallucinations that were responsible–it had woken me up.

For the first time in a long time, I didn't know what to expect in the morning.

* * *

I expected to feel different in the morning. Naturally I would feel different cause it was the first morning that I had been truly awake and aware of my surroundings.

What I didn't expect was the urgency. The feeling that-had I been a normal and simple human girl-I could have misunderstood as terror.

It was a type of urgency that I had only felt a handful of times before.

My blood thudded quickly through my veins, my skin paled, and my breathing quickened.

It was a warning that I was no longer the only one in danger and if I wasn't careful, I could lose my life.

Supernatural had returned to forks with full force and I had a sinking feeling that it wasn't very good.

Of course the wolves were there-why I hadn't recognized Sam on that black day months ago was beyond me but I did realize why he hadn't recognized me.

My little device didn't only take away their memory when a certain vampire was near-it was when any vampire was near. If I didn't have it programmed that way then they would always leave everything for me to take care of.

But I digress. Whatever was now in the forks/la push area was strong enough to cause alarm.

I quickly hurried downstairs intending to get a bite on the way out when I ran into my dad.

But my heart dropped to my stomach when I realized that he was in uniform.

"Are you going somewhere?" I tried to ask casually as I set about making myself a quick bowl of cereal.

He nodded as he hooked the attachments onto his belt. "Yeah. There's been an animal attack really close to town so me and the other guys are going to see if we can find the animal."

I felt my face pale. "An animal attack? Like last year when the animal was moving up through the counties?"

To my surprise, he shook his head. "No. Last year's attacks seemed like nothing compared to these. The bodies that were found had been ripped apart and brutally mutilated. Sorry, you probably didn't need to know that while you're eating. But anyways. This is a different animal and far more gruesome. I've got to go see if we can stop it before it hurts anyone else."

"Be careful," I warned him.

"Always am."

When I was alone, I pushed my cereal away.

My head was spinning in dizzy circles. I had been so sure it had been a vampire.

But no vampire-unless they were hell bent on revenge-was going to savagely rip up their victim. The victim would lose blood and the 'meal' would become less appetizing.

But what other supernatural creature would do such a thing that would make it look like a gruesome animal attack?

Cause there was no doubting that it was supernatural. Maybe, if the danger that the creature possessed hadn't woken me up from my black stupor, I could have fallen for the animal attack theory.

But it had woken me up and there was no way that it was just an animal.

I quickly changed into some black fighting clothes and slipped on a big coat over it to cover-up what I was wearing.

I had been planning on searching for the supernatural force around town but I was drawn to la push.

I parked my truck out of sight just outside of city limits and started walking.

My blood burned in my blood when I felt my way through the air.

Whoever it was, they were just waiting for me.

The attack had been carried out simply to draw me out and to get me worried enough to seek them out.

What they hadn't anticipated though, was the boiling anger that now ran through my veins. I walked at normal speed for the next hour. If at all possible, I wanted to confuse the attacker to thinking that I was weaker than I was.

But I found out that it had been pointless-except to warm me up.

For when I walked into the open field where he waited, I found that I already knew the enemy.

It was mike.

Not mike Newton.

But mike- the fourth wolf.

If blood hadn't been boiling in my veins before, it certainly was now.

I quickly made my way over to him. "You," I snarled.

He just smirked at me.

"You're the animal. You killed those innocent people!"

He shrugged. "I needed to get you out"

My hands balled into fists. "What's wrong with knocking on the door!"

"I needed to show you the consequences of your actions."

I fumed. "When have I ever killed an innocent human being?"

He shook his head as we began to circle. "You let vampires walk and roam the earth. By letting them live, you kill hundreds of innocent people every day."

I burned my coat up with my anger; I didn't have patience enough to take it off normally.

"You think I like it? I have to have some allies, Mike! Otherwise, I'll be killed!"

"And such a pity that would be. Having no vampire-loving human around. The world would be in agony!"

Fire blew out in an explosion behind me-luckily I was far enough away not to hit the trees and start a fire. My extensions burned to the end and dropped off my hair, my eyes turned a solid orange, and my skin took on an orange glow.

"I am the human element!" I screeched at him as I took my stance. "I was sent here to combine the species as a whole! Create a unity between humans, vampires, and werewolves!"

He looked bored. "None the less…" he pulled off his shirt in one smooth move and I tensed. "You must die."

"And what do the others think about this?" I demanded of him.

"Oh, I'm sure they're racing to stop me as we speak. But don't worry, you'll be dead long before they get here."

In that instant he exploded outwards-his clothes mysteriously disappearing-before he came running towards me.

I let my power fully run though me for the first time in years. I hadn't a release of all my power since I started running from Tasha. Letting my power run unchecked was dangerous if I wanted to stay hidden but I didn't have a choice. He was dangerous and I would not be killed because he couldn't get over his prejudice.

In one smooth move, I leaped over him and he landed on empty ground.

"You'll have to better than that if you hope to catch me," I told him-flying a boulder into his shoulder and a bamboo stick-from who knows where-into my hand. It would be my weapon.

He howled and leaped at me and I met his attack head on- swinging as I went.

The problem with fighting Mike was that the wolves and vampire leaders had trained together to prepare for the final battle we knew were coming soon. So he was good and he wasn't new to my fighting style.

We fought for fifteen minutes, clawing and swinging at each other with a ferocity that would scare anyone.

I pleaded with him several times to stop. I had a feeling he was trying to kill me-but I couldn't be completely sure that he was just pissed at me. Even if he did kill the stray hikers.

I found out for sure though pretty quickly.

I felt the wolves from La Push and was momentarily distracted.

A moment was all it took.

By the time I refocused on Mike, his claw was swinging downwards.

I wasn't quick enough.

He claw raked down the left side of my face and-when I attempted to push him off-across the top of my chest from shoulder to shoulder.

I screamed.

* * *

Okay, if you skimmed over the middle body of that, the main thing you should know is that Bella didn't confront the four guys she sees when she's out with Jessica and she doesn't hear his voice.

Finals are this week so I won't be posting another chapter til at least next week.

**Airforcebrat555**: Thanks!

**Ruskie roo**: Yes, yes, and yes. This chapter should have explained it a bit more. If it wasn't obvious, ask.

**Readingandmaththatsall**: this chapter went a little more in detail. Did it make sense?

**Dazzleme787**: haha, thanks!...i think.

**Lexistar10**: She was able to, she just chose not to so she could stay hidden.

**Cerriddwen**: I'll see what I can do about Aaron and the kids. It's possible though. Also, I have finals so the sneak peek has to wait a bit longer. I'm glad you got a good score on your math tests….they suck.

**Canis lupus lover**: I hope so. And thanks!

**Angel-of-condemned-darkness**: I liked GreenEyedAngel better, but that just cause its easier to type. Lol. And I'm glad you like it!

**RomFicGurl**: She was just too out of it at that point. When she got home, she woke up a little more. Make sense?

**Kyky xx 123**: haha, I cheat ;) And I'll get better at the 'everyday' part when finals are over.

**TwiGurl1863**: I hope this chapter explained some of your questions. I'm glad you like this story so much that it made you cry!

**Claire Thomas**: Who said she was going to fall in love with Jacob? I didn't. ;) Also, i forgot to get back to you on your question from the last book. I'd be flattered if you want to use my story idea. Is that what it is? I was kinda confused on what you meant. Do you mean like a spin-off or what?


	5. Pain

Whoa! Is this actually a chapter?

Yes, dear friends it is!

* * *

Last time on Vampire Encounters:

_A moment was all it took._

_By the time I refocused on Mike, his claw was swinging downwards._

_I wasn't quick enough._

_He claw raked down the left side of my face and-when I attempted to push him off-across the top of my chest from shoulder to shoulder._

_I screamed.

* * *

_

I managed to stumble away from the claw raking down my face and push him to the side.

Of course, that action only caused him to scrape across the length of my shoulders.

I dropped to the ground in pain and-thrusting a hand out towards Mike-flung him across the length of the field.

I was surprised when he walked back to me human.

"What is wrong with you?" I gasped, pressing a hand to the bloodied side of my face.

"Now you know how I felt," he told me naturally-as if he hadn't just mauled my face.

"How you felt?" I asked him incredulously, applying more pressure to my face. "When did I ever attack you?"

He smirked. "Well, that's not exactly what I meant."

I shakily got to my feet. "What else could you possibly mean?"

"Okay, so maybe I said that wrong. But, I still feel that kind of pain every time you protect a vampire."

I stood up shakily. "I do what I have to do in order to protect my family. I'm so sorry that I can't conform to your needs cause I'm protecting my own!"

He rolled his eyes. "Your children are an abomination. They shouldn't exist."

I fumed and tensed. I knew the attack was coming.

His smile turned mocking and predatory. "And soon, they won't have a mother."

He leapt at me at the same time I felt the wolves break into the first trees of the outer lying forest.

I had a trick up my sleeve that I hated to use, but Mike was an enemy now. I didn't have a choice.

Bringing my hand down from my face, I made a fist and thrust it upwards. Mike stopped short as the air trapped him and his body-against his will-changed back to human.

He gave me a human growl, "How the hell did you do that?"

"Extra powers of a human elemental. Do we really have to do this, Mike?"

He growled. "When I get out of here, I'm going to hunt down your children. They're going to scream-"

He was probably counting on me getting so mad that I would let him go. But, he just made himself more of an enemy that he had before. He had threatened my children.

"I'm sorry," I told him solemnly. He looked confused before I punched him hard across the face- snapping his neck.

I didn't have time to drag his body to my truck. One, the La Push wolves were too close and two, I had to get out of there. They would surely come after me if they saw me by the body. Why, oh why, did i ever tell them about me? Its a lot easier to hide when you can just act dumb!

I turned on my heel and disappeared into the forest. I was barley out of sight when Sam and the others got to the clearing.

I pressed my hand to my still bleeding face and ran full tilt to my truck. On the way, I shakily took out my keys and flew them ahead of me to the truck. The truck was started and even driving down the road when I reached where I had left it.

I quickly hopped in and sped it up so I was far from the scene by the time the wolves had come to the place where I had kept my truck. But, as luck would have it, they followed.

Cursing, I reached behind me and grabbed some extensions I had stored in my truck at some point and quickly attached them to my hair-pulling the left side over my face to cover the bloodied mess of scars. I couldn't do anything about my shirt.

I continued driving and slowed down to a normal speed and forced myself not to look at the side of the road as the wolves passed on either side of my truck but out of sight for a normal human eye.

I breathed a sigh of relief when they stopped following me and headed back to La Push.

My hands were shaking on the steering wheel as I drove out of Forks city limits. I had lost a lot of blood, combined with the adrenaline rush from fighting Mike and running from the wolves, and the fact that I had just killed someone who I had once counted as my ally. I wasn't in a good condition but I couldn't go anywhere even remotely close to Forks. I knew, logically, that it would be smart to stop in Port Angeles and get some supplies to clean up my face but I didn't know how much longer I could last.

So I just drove. I drove all the way to Seattle, at a much faster pace. I'm sure those that I passed either thought I was a speed demon or didn't even notice me racing down the street.

I eventually managed to stumble into Swedish Medical Center's emergency room before I passed out in blissful oblivion.

* * *

The next thing I was aware of was a beeping of a monitor. I expected to see the inside of a hospital room-I had been in them often enough to recognize my surroundings before I even opened my eyes-I had after all, just suffered from an animal attack.

But before, I had always had one of my parents waiting for me when I woke up. This time, I was utterly and completely alone.

I blinked wearily and moved my head to look around when I noticed that some wires were hooked up to my head.

Just then a doctor walked in.

"Good to see you awake. You've had us in quite a scare for the past couple days. My name is Doctor Brady. Do you remember your name, miss?" He asked as he pulled up a chair beside me, checking the monitors and my vitals.

"Isabella." I told him, softly, watching him for any signs of supernatural possessment. "Isabella McCarthy."

He nodded and wrote down the name. "Birthday?"

"September 13, 1987."

"Address?"

I hesitated momentarily and listed off an address in Italy. Dr. Brady looked up at that.

"You're foreign?"

I shook my head. "No, I travel a lot on my own. I graduated early. It's my permanent address that is kept up by some friends. I hadn't found a hotel here yet when I was attacked."

He nodded solemnly. "About that. Do you remember what happened?"

I scrunched my forehead. "Not really. I remember hearing something behind a house and going to check it out. Something hit me and I passed out. When I woke up, I made my way here and passed out again."

"You walked?"

"No, I managed to drive my truck here."

He nodded and asked more questions and other stuff. Eventually, he got all his answers. A couple hours later, my sister who was just passing by gave me a note through the nurse.

I tried not to show my suspicion as I was handed the note. After all, I didn't have a sister.

After the nurse walked out, I opened the note.

I recognized the handwriting immediately as Tasha's.

The note simply read:

_He was one of mine. Guess you ain't as good as you thought._

My fist closed around the note. If she had managed to infiltrate the wolves and completely convinced one of their own that I was enough of a danger to the normal human population that I needed to be destroyed, who would be next?

* * *

They released me a few days later and after charging to the hospital charges to the only card I still carried with my adopted last name on it, I headed home. I had a few things to do first.

I stopped by a place I knew I could get favors in. They made me some fake skin patches that I put over my face and across my chest. I picked up some Tylenol and ibuprofen and quickly made my way to Forks.

Luckily, it was still early morning by the time I made it home and dad was still at home.

I had been gone four days when I finally returned home.

"Bella!" My dad cried happily when I walked in the door.

He wrapped me in a hug and I winced as my injuries were pressed against his chest.

He pulled away quickly. "What happened? Your device malfunctioned so everyone here just thinks you've been sick. That being said, I'm assuming this is supernatural related?"

I sighed in pure relief and nodded as he led me over to the kitchen table. "Yeah. That animal attack from the other day? It was supernatural, but not like…not like Aaron is. Different kind."

"Where is he now?"

"Dead."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. But, it had to be done. He threatened not only me but my kids too."

"He hurt you?"

"Yeah, but I've got it under control. Just be careful with me."

He nodded and made me breakfast. After that, I went up and crawled into bed.

* * *

The next few days were tough as I adjusted to moving with my new set of injuries. I was downing a vile of Rose's healing medicine a day but the gashes in my face were so deep that it wasn't helping much. I sent an email to Aaron telling him I needed more but I didn't explain why. If I had, he would have been here the next morning.

So, I really shouldn't have been surprised when he showed up a week later with Rosalie in tow.

Probably would have been good if he had given me a little warning too. Would have saved him a little pain.

I was sleeping a relatively mentally pain-less dream although my face still felt like it was on fire.

Something fluttered on the edges of my senses and I came slightly out of consciousness but stayed asleep-subconsciously tracking the two presences that now silently slinkered through my house.

They came into my room and my eyes snapped open.

My body and instincts moved faster than my eyes could adjust to the dark room.

I flew at the biggest figure and we crashed into the wall.

A strong kick sent me flying back into my bed and into the wall. I heard the door open but I didn't pay attention as I flung myself again at the attacker. I was relying completely on my other sense. I was moving far too fast and my head was spinning too much to be able to use my human sight.

I heard shouts as my hands closed around a throat. I started to squeezed, then-

"MOMMA!"

My entire body froze as the lights flipped on and I was able to recognize just who it was that I was attacking.

"Aaron?" I whispered.

He stared back at me calmly, even though I had just nearly killed him.

I retracted my hands from his throat and slid down to the floor, putting a hand over my still-open wounds on my face.

Aaron sank down with me-refusing to hear my apology-and gently removed my hand from my face.

"My god," he whispered as he gently traced the claw marks that raked down my face. Rosalie joined Aaron at my side as my dad shut the door.

Rosalie gently placed her hands on my face and my chest as Aaron got water for her to use to make more vials. I closed my eyes as the familiar healing feelings spread through my face and took the pain away. After a little, my daughter withdrew her hand.

I touched the injuries, and while they were still severe, they didn't hurt as much and they weren't as bad as they had been.

"Thank you," I told her. She just smiled at me, giving me a hug before setting out to make her healing vials.

Aaron and I watched her in silence for about a half hour before we put her to bed, she always exhausted herself too much.

I brushed her hair from her face softly as she slept. Aaron stayed silent.

"How old is she?" I asked softly.

"16."

I sighed in heartbreak. "So old. She'll be fully grown by the time I'm out of high school."

He reached forward and brought me back against his chest. I willingly relaxed against his chest.

"I know. I'm sorry."

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Bella, what happened?" Aaron asked after a few minutes.

I sighed, getting up and walking over to my window.

"She knows, Aaron."

He stayed at his spot next my daughter, but face me. "Knows what, Bella?"

"She knows I'm here. She knows where I am. And she's gotten a lot smarter. She knows…knows that I'll wait to see if it will pass. I'll wait a couple days before I take action. That I'll…. that…" I trailed off miserably.

I was so lost in my misery that I didn't notice Aaron get up and wrap his arms around me.

"Who, my Bella?"

"Tasha."

His muscles tensed and his arms tightened around me.

"You're sure?"

I hesitated. Did she know where I was? Or was it Mike that had known?

"Well…no, I guess. But, she knows I'm in Washington, that's for sure."

"Bella. From the beginning, please."

I sighed. "Okay, so before everything fell apart James showed up with a new red-head and an "L' in tow and for whatever reason he didn't recognize me til the end. And I'd be stupid not to suspect that at some point, Tasha didn't meet up with him at some point and make an alliance with him. So there was that mess. Then _they_ left and I dropped down into depression. Then Mike came and I spent a couple days mindlessly looking around cause he's what brought me out of my depression. He came and we fought, and I had to _kill him._ Mike-a living breathing human being! And then I got to the hospital and I get a note from my "sister." Said sister, ends up being Tasha and she says that Mike was one of hers!"

I slumped down in his arms as he whispered "Dear god, help us now."

"She got the wolves, Aaron," I sobbed. "She got into the four elite wolves. If she got into them, what makes us think she won't get to normal ones?"

I looked up at him through tear-stained eyes. "Aaron, what are we gonna do?"

He didn't have an answer for me as I cried into the night.

* * *

They left the next morning. They couldn't stay too long. Even coming for as long as they had, had been a huge risk. Especially with Tasha knowing that I was in Washington. If she knew my exact location or not was still unknown, but we couldn't take any chances.

"Come visit, momma," Rose told me before she left, hugging me tightly before disappearing into the portal.

Aaron lingered behind. "Really, Bella. Come visit."

I nodded. "I will. Soon."

I expected him to leave but he just kept staring at me.

"What?" I finally asked.

"You are a strong woman Isabella Marie Swan-McCarthy. You'll figure this out. And don't let his memory get you down. If that dirt bag didn't realize what an amazing girl he had in front of him that is his loss and you deserve someone better. You deserve someone who realizes your worth and it doesn't take lightning to the brain to recognize it. And we'll beat Tasha, Bella. I know we will."

I smiled-really smiled-at him. "Thanks Aaron."

He laughed. "Sure thing. Now, what's been on your mind since I got here?"

I sighed in exasperation and he laughed.

"It may have been a couple years, but I still know my girl!"

We both laughed at the truth of that statement and then grew serious.

"Really, Bella. What is it?"

I sighed, looking at my dad in the other room with the TV turned up so he wouldn't hear our conversation. I felt worry clinch my heart as I turned back to Aaron.

"She knows where I am, Aaron. Or at least, the state I'm in."

He nodded. "Yeah, i know. And?"

I took a deep breath before unleashing the big question.

"If she knows where I am, or at least the general location, why hasn't she attacked?"

Aaron's face grew pale and the fear in my heart reflected in his eyes.

"Aaron, what is she waiting for?"

He didn't have an answer.

* * *

YES, I AM BACK!

Though…I don't know how often I will be able to update. This quarter has been CA-RAZY! On top of surgery…yikes. Just yikes. But I will do my best to be back on top of things. I make no promises though.

So, I know it was like a long, Long, LONG! Time ago that you all commented and such on the last chapter but I will still answer the questions that you probably forgot you asked :P

Canis lupus lover: Thanks!

Dazzleme787: Thank you!

Kyky xx 123: Emmett doesn't know about the mind link for various reasons to be revealed later!

RomFicGurl: haha, thank you!

TwiGurl1863: haha, thanks!

Alice Vampire: Glad you finally caught up! Now, I just need too :p

Angel-of-condemned-darkness: First, off you are going to be just 'Angel' from now on cause your name is way too long. Unless another reader comes along with the name 'angel'. But second, thank you!

GiGiCullenJackson: Sorry I took so long!

JennLD: Hey, it is all good. I love long reviews!

Claire Thomas: Well, I hope I don't take too long as you don't remember your idea!

Timetwister9779: Thanks!

Cerriddwen: No, nothing happened to me! Yet….ugh.. except surgery and the hecticness of school. But thanks and like I said to kyky xx 123, there are reasons Emmett and Rose don't know about the connection. All will be revelaed….later. lol

Fanpire loves Jasper: Thanks, and I'm back

Crimson-goth-girl: That's great to know!

I think I got all of you. If I missed you, I apologize. HOPEFULLY the next chapter won't take so long. Who is still with me? Anyone?

Lots of love!

-twilightromance4EVER!


	6. Jacob

I could give you excuses but i doubt you care. I made this one extra long to make up for it.

But i've got reinterested in my story. But, i'm still trying to figure out what i actually had planned in this one. Anything in particular you all want to see happen? Also, in the preface, "alan" is suppossed to be "mike." I think. i have to figure out what i was thinking there.

Also, who's better: Edward or Aaron?

* * *

Five days after Aaron had left, I got a call on my cell.

I was focusing on my homework and investigating for orphaned high school students in the state when the call came. I reached over but hesitated in picking it up.

"_Unknown Number" _flashed across the screen and my mind immediately jumped to Tasha.

If it _was_ Tasha-and I couldn't be sure that it was- she could be calling to gloat. Or to give me a clue.

Or she could try and trace the call to find my exact location.

My cell phone rang the third and last time.

"Hello?" I asked warily.

"ISABELLA!"

I winced as Jane's voice echoed through my ears. After I could hear again I warily brought the cell back to my ear. "Yes?"

"Do you realize how worried you made us?"

I thought for a minute about what she was talking about. When I had the realization, I winced.

"Oops. Sorry Jane, I forgot."

"You forgot? _You…Forgot?_ How do you forget to call and tell us that some animal or supernatural creature mauled half of your face off? That you spent four days-"

"Three," I quietly corrected.

"-in a hospital? That you had to go all the way to Seattle just to get far enough away? Do you realize how terrified Aro, Demetri, Alec, Felix, and I have been? Do you?"

I sighed again as I twirled around in my chair. "Well, because Jane. I forgot because humans have this weird quirk. When we're injured, we don't think of calling people outside of the immediate area and tell them about an accident that they didn't even know happened."

"Bella, you _billed_ us."

"I know. Sorry."

It was quiet for a moment before I heard a bit of scuffling then "hey!"

"Bella?" Demetri's British voice came on.

"Jane is going to kill you for stealing the phone," I laughed.

"Yeah, probably. Are you okay? What happened? Why did Aro get a medical bill from the States for deep laceration on the left side of your face?"

I sighed again. "Who all is there?"

"Just about everyone."

"Even Kayus?"

He laughed at my pronunciation. "No, he's gone."

I nodded to myself. "Put me on speaker."

I heard a _beep_ and then the static sound of being put on speaker.

"Hey, everyone!" I greeted with false cheer. Cheerful was just about the furthest thing from my mind.

A murmur of 'Hello's responded to me.

"So, what happened?" Felix demanded of me.

I sighed. As if the tensions between the wolves and vampires weren't high enough already.

"A werewolf attacked me."

I didn't get a chance to continue.

"WHAT?"

"Are you ok?"

"What happened?"

"Who was it?"

The questions continued to pour out at an unrelenting pace. I knew they would never hear me over their torrent of questions. Finally, I gave up and just flipped the phone shut-easily ending the call. They would call back when they realized I was gone.

I sighed. Edward's disappearance still severely upset me. I couldn't stay in Forks but I couldn't leave either. I had everything set up here. My background, my secrets, and a hidden support system were all here. But, it was painful to be here. So, _so_, painful.

I had taken for granted their presence in my life. Edward-whose name I was finally able to say in my mind- had taken the leash completely out of my hand and taken control. He had only given me two days of un-verbalized warning to prepare for his departure. And technically, had I been a normal human, I wouldn't have had any warning. A clean break? Who the hell was he kidding? And vampires were _not_ distracted easily. My running all over the world from two revenge-bent vampires was a testament to that fact. I wasn't sure what to do.

I could feel the more intense pain coming, so I quickly broke my train of though casting an incredulous glance at my phone. Had they seriously not noticed that I had hung up yet? I knew they weren't the best observers but really?

'_Maybe they're waiting for you to call them back'_ Aaron suggested.

I snorted. _'Have you met them? Especially since this gives them another golden opportunity to hate the wolves? Puh-lease.'_

'_Maybe,_' Jason said, cutting in. _'Caius came back and they didn't want him knowing.'_

'_Good point. That is a definite possibility_.' I acknowledged. Seconds later, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered cheerfully, maintaining a safe distance between the phone and my ear.

"ISABELLA!" Jane screeched and I smirked.

"Yes?" I asked casually, keeping the smirk that was on my face from being heard in my voice.

"I can't…how could…you…we…ugh!"

I let through a snicker as she stumbled through her words.

Her voice faded as someone took the phone from her hand. It came back again as I heard the sound of being put onto speaker phone.

"Why don't you tell us what happened?" Aro suggested calmly. I knew him well enough at this point to be able to hear the tension in his voice.

"Its basically simple enough. I was…depressed for reasons I'm not going to divulge. His presence woke me up from the depression enough to notice that he was around because his intent was to hurt and kill. Not anything else. I was basically forced to find him, when my dad and the police here found a body that had been brutally mauled and ripped apart. So, it obviously wasn't a vampire and I didn't think it would ever be a werewolf because they exist usually to protect human life not destroy it. But, I found him out and it turns out he did what he did just to draw me out and confront me. I knew the wolf. I was distracted by…something…momentarily. And all it took was that moment for him to rake his claw down the side of my face. I just barley made it to the hospital before I passed out due to the blood loss. Rose and Aaron visited and helped with the healing. But I still have to wear fake skin and be careful of what I do."

There was silence on the other end while they tried to absorb what I had just told them.

"Dang…" I heard Alec say quietly.

"You're sure you're alright?" Felix asked me.

I gave a small laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks though. I'll be fine."

Demetri laughed a small humorless laugh. "Only you could find this much trouble in Forks."

I snorted. " Thanks. Well, as much as I'd love to keep chatting, I have a-quote, unquote- normal life to get back to. And also, this doesn't give you an excuse to go kill any werewolf you sense, got it?"

There was a collective groan as I stopped what would have been there plotting before it even started.

"But, Bella-!" Jane started complaining.

"No buts." I said firmly. "Most of the werewolf population will still be on our-well, my-side. I do _not_ need you making my job any harder than it already is. Got it?"

"We understand, mistress," Aro said before anyone else could protest. While I could hear the disappointment in his voice he knew better than to argue with me on the subject.

"Good." I said firmly, then lightened my tone. "Well, I gotta go now. Bye guys. Bye _Demi_."

I hung up to the sound of uproaring laughter and Demetri embarrassed protest of "Bellaa!"

I smiled despite my depression. Teasing them was just far too fun. In my head, Aaron and Emmett were agreeing with me. Though, that was probably cause father-bear and brother-bear were rearing their protective heads. I had always enjoyed teasing them. Rose had simply given me more ammo.

'_Thanks mom,'_ Rose said sarcastically.

'_you're welcome, baby,' _I said cheerfully, completely ignoring her tone.

She groaned; I laughed.

I headed downstairs and outside to my truck, quickly heading down the familiar road to the Newton's store.

Mike blinked when i came in and then smiled. "hey, Bella."

I noticed that his voice lacked much feeling. I really had been gone, hadn't i?

'_duh'_

'_Aaron, shut up.'_

"Hey Mike!" I greeted cheerfully, smiling back.

He blinked in shock a couple times before his eyes lit up. "How are you doing? Your dad says you were sick for a bit there."

"Yeah, I caught a pretty nasty few. Hung around pretty good for a few days and took a bit to get my stamina back. I feel better though."

"that's good." He obviously didn't know what to say after that.

"I feel better than before I got sick," I started a little hesitantly but plowed on when Mike looked my way. "It…kinda snapped me outta my depression…mostly, anyways."

"Really?" Mike asked, hopeful but cautious.

"Yeah…just don't mention…"

I trailed off but he understood and we started talking. I felt relief at the sense of normalcy.

But eventually work called. But I stuck around cause It was a slow afternoon at Newton's. At the moment there were only two patrons in the store, dedicated backpackers from the sound of their conversation. Mike had spent the last hour going through the pros and cons of two brands of lightweight packs with them. But they'd taken a break from serious pricing to indulge in trying to one-up each other with their latest tales from the trail. Their distraction had given Mike a chance to escape.

"I don't mind staying," I told him when he said I should leave.

"I'm telling you," said the thickset man with the orange beard that didn't match his dark brown hair. "I've seen grizzlies pretty close up in Yellowstone, but they had nothing on this brute." His hair was matted, and his clothes looked like they'd been on his back for more than a few days. Fresh from the mountains.

"Not a chance. Black bears don't get that big. The grizzlies you saw were probably cubs."  
The second man was tall and lean, his face tanned and wind-whipped into an impressive leathery crust.

"Seriously, Bella, as soon as these two give up, I'm closing the place down," Mike murmured.

"If you want …" I shrugged.

"On all fours it was taller than you," the bearded man insisted while I gathered my things together. "Big as a house and pitch-black. I'm going to report it to the ranger here. People ought to be warned–this wasn't up on the mountain, mind you–this was only a few miles from the trailhead."

I froze. Trying to calm my panic. No doubt in my mind, this stray hiker had seen Sam. Werewolves were usually so much better and being discreet than that. It had been two weeks. The wolves couldn't possibly still be looking for me.

Could they?

Leather-face laughed and rolled his eyes. "Let me guess–you were on your way in? Hadn't eaten real food or slept off the ground in a week, right?"

"Hey, uh, Mike, right?" the bearded man called, looking toward us.

"See you Monday," I mumbled.

"Yes, sir," Mike replied, turning away.

"Say, have there been any warnings around here recently–about black bears?"

"No, sir. But it's always good to keep your distance and store your food correctly. Have you seen the new bear-safe canisters? They only weigh two pounds…"

The doors slid open to let me out into the rain. I hunched over inside my jacket as I dashed for my truck. The rain hammering against my hood sounded unusually loud, too, but soon the roar of the engine drowned out everything else.

I didn't want to go back to an empty house. Being in an empty house let me think too much. About…well, everything. Topics ranged from my daughter and her newfound _mate_-I still hissed at the idea- to the Cullens and _him_ to Tasha's worrying ability to know where I was at wherever I went. And how she was able to track my family. And this stupid, horrible war that had been going on for ten years. And the nightmares.

I always had nightmares now, every night. The dreams never failed to horrify me, and only ended when I woke myself with screaming. Dad didn't come in to see what was wrong anymore, to make sure there was no intruder strangling me or something like that–he was used to it now. It was always something different but something was always the same: I never won. Whether it was a big battle or someone arguing that they had to leave, I always lost. I never knew which part of the nightmare scared me the most.  
I tapped the steering wheel as I idled in my driveway. I was awake now and though the depression wasn't that far away, I could live outside of it.  
If I was doing something. Talking to the others in my head was great…but impractical. Especially since that would probably mean bursting out in laughter every five seconds at nothing. Well, as far as everyone else could tell anyways.

I dashed through the house to the phone, keys still in hand when an idea finally hit, to call my dad.

"Chief Swan, please," I said when the deputy answered. "It's Bella."

"Oh, hey, Bella," Deputy Steve said affably. "I'll go get him."  
I waited.

"What's wrong, Bella?" dad demanded as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Can't I call you at work without there being an emergency?"

He was quiet for a minute. "You never have before. Is there an emergency?"

"No. I just wanted directions to the Blacks' place–I'm not sure I can remember the way. I want to visit Jacob. I haven't seen him in months."

When Charlie spoke again, his voice was much happier.

"That's a great idea, Bells. Do you have a pen?"

The directions he gave me were very simple. I assured him that I would be back for dinner, though he tried to tell me not to hurry. He wanted to join me in La Push but I wasn't so sure of Billy's acting skills.

So it was with a deadline that I drove too quickly through the storm-darkened streets out of town.

While I drove, I worried a little bit about Billy's reaction to seeing me. He would be too pleased. In Billy's mind, no doubt, this had all worked out better than he had dared to hope.

His pleasure and relief would only remind me of the one I couldn't bear to be reminded of.

The Blacks' house was vaguely familiar, a small wooden place with narrow windows, the dull red paint making it resemble a tiny barn. Jacob's head peered out of the window before I could even get out of the truck.

No doubt the familiar roar of the engine had tipped him off to my approach. Jacob had been very grateful when Charlie bought Billy's truck for me, saving Jacob from having to drive it when he came of age. I liked my truck very much, but Jacob seemed to consider the speed restrictions a shortcoming. Of course, technically, so did I. but I was kinda trying to blend in.

He met me halfway to the house.

"Bella!" His excited grin stretched wide across his face, the bright teeth standing in vivid contrast to the deep russet color of his skin. I'd never seen his hair out of its usual ponytail before. It fell like black satin curtains on either side of his broad face.

Jacob had grown into some of his potential in the last eight months. He'd passed that point where the soft muscles of childhood hardened into the solid, lanky build of a teenager; the tendons and veins had become prominent under the red-brown skin of his arms, his hands.

"Hey, Jacob!" I felt an unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm at his smile. I realized that I was pleased to see him. This knowledge surprised me.

I smiled back, and something clicked silently into place, like two corresponding puzzle pieces. I'd forgotten how much I really liked Jacob Black.

He stopped a few feet away from me, and I stared up at him in surprise, leaning my head back though the rain pelted my face.

"You grew again!" I accused in amazement and slight anxiety. He would faze soon. I just knew it. I only managed to keep the anxiety out of my voice.

He laughed, his smile widening impossibly. "Six five," he announced with self-satisfaction.

His voice was deeper, but it had the husky tone I remembered.

"Is it ever going to stop?" I shook my head in disbelief. "You're huge."

"Still a beanpole, though." He grimaced. "Come inside! You're getting all wet."

He led the way, twisting his hair in his big hands as he walked. He pulled a rubber band from his hip pocket and wound it around the bundle.

"Hey, Dad," he called as he ducked to get through the front door. "Look who stopped by."

Billy was in the tiny square living room, a book in his hands. He set the book in his lap and wheeled himself forward when he saw me.

"Well, what do you know! It's good to see you, Bella."

We shook hands. Mine was lost in his wide grasp.

"What brings you out here? Everything okay with Charlie?"

I could see the unspoken question in his eyes and dipped my head in silent reassurance.

"Yes, absolutely. I just wanted to see Jacob–I haven't seen him in forever."

Jacob's eyes brightened at my words but I was pleased to see not overly so. With any luck, he wouldn't develop a crush on me. _That_ was the last thing I needed.

"Can you stay for dinner?" Billy was eager too, now that he knew nothing was wrong.

"No, I've got to feed dad, you know."

"I'll call him now," Billy suggested. "He's always invited."

I laughed to hide my discomfort. "It's not like you'll never see me again. I promise I'll be back again soon–so much you'll get sick of me."

Billy chuckled in response but seemed to understand what I couldn't put into words. "Okay, maybe next time."

"So, Bella, what do you want to do?" Jacob asked.

"Whatever. What were you doing before I interrupted?" I was strangely comfortable here. It was familiar, but only distantly. There were no painful reminders of the recent past.

"well…I was only working on a pair of old motorcycles and my car, but we can do something else…"

"no, that's great. We can chat while you work." I smiled. He seemed unconvinced but relented and we headed out to the garage.

While he worked, Jacob chattered happily, needing only the lightest of nudges from me to keep the conversation rolling. He updated me on the progress of his sophomore year of school, running on about his classes and his two best friends.

"Quil and Embry?" I interrupted. "Those are unusual names."

Jacob chuckled. "Quil's is a hand-me-down, and I think Embry got named after a soap opera star. I can't say anything, though. They fight dirty if you start on their names–they'll tag team you."

"Good friends." I raised one eyebrow.

"No, they are. Just don't mess with their names."

Just then a call echoed in the distance. "Jacob?" someone shouted.

"Is that Billy?" I asked.

"No." Jacob ducked his head, and I could tell from the look on his face he wished it was anyone else but them. Maybe he did have a bit of a crush after all.

I felt a twinge of jealousy in my head and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. '_Chill.'_ I murmured to Aaron. He didn't respond but I felt his embarrassment at being caught.

"Speak of the devil," he mumbled, "and the devil shall appear."

"Jake? Are you out here?" The shouting voice was closer now.

"Yeah!" Jacob shouted back, and sighed.

We waited through the short silence until two tall, dark-skinned boys strolled around the corner into the shed.

One was slender, and almost as tall as Jacob. His black hair was chin-length and parted down the middle, one side tucked behind his left ear while the right side swung free. The shorter boy was more burly. His white T-shirt strained over his well-developed chest, and he seemed gleefully conscious of that fact. His hair was so short it was almost a buzz.

I had a feeling, that they too, would become wolves. Would it never stop?

Both boys stopped short when they saw me. The thin boy glanced swiftly back and forth between Jacob and me, while the brawny boy kept his eyes on me, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"Hey, guys," Jacob greeted them halfheartedly. I didn't need to look at him to know he was embarrassed. I could hear it very clearly in his voice. I bit my lip to keep from laughing and embarrassing him further.

"Hey, Jake," the short one said without looking away from me. I had to smile in response, his grin was so impish. When I did, he winked at me. "Hi, there."

"Quil, Embry–this is my friend, Bella."

Quil and Embry, I still didn't know which was which, exchanged a loaded look.

"Charlie's kid, right?" the brawny boy asked me, holding out his hand.

"That's right," I confirmed, shaking hands with him. His grasp was firm; it looked like he was flexing his bicep.

"I'm Quil Ateara," he announced grandly before releasing my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Quil."

"Hey, Bella. I'm Embry, Embry Call–you probably already figured that out, though." Embry smiled a shy smile and waved with one hand, which he then shoved in the pocket of his jeans.

I nodded. "Nice to meet you, too."

"So what are you guys doing?" Quil asked, still looking at me.

"Bella and I are talking while I fix up these bikes," Jacob explained inaccurately. But bikes seemed to be the magic word. Both boys went to examine Jacob's project, drilling him with educated questions.

I tuned them out so I wouldn't have the temptation to jump in on their conversation. That would bring about more questions that I really couldn't answer.

'_Whose envious now?'_ Aaron taunted and I felt his siblings tune in. For whatever reason, they immensely enjoyed our teasing arguments. Unfortunately for him, I had the upper hand here.

'_Oh, I'll be the first to admit I'm envious about them being able to talk about cars and parts. But, I forget, who was it that got jealous over a barley-even-there crush from a sixteen year old human boy? Who was that again?'_

He growled and his siblings laughed at his expense.

'_oh, right! That was you, huh? Silly me, forgetting such a thing.'_

'_Shut up.'_ He growled but the effect was muted when I could feel his heightened embarrassment. I smirked.

'_I win.'_ I told him cheekily.

I felt him concentrate and then felt a slight tickle along my stomach. I sucked in a quick, quiet breath at the sensation and clamped my hands down over my stomach. As if that would do anything when he was doing it from my mind.

'_Quit it!'_ I screeched at him and felt him laugh.

'_Who won again?'_

I groaned. Any other time I would fight him back, but Jake and his friends would think I was insane if I just started laughing.

I grudgingly admitted defeat. '_You won._'

He cheered while I mentally rolled my eyes and came out of my head.

Jake, Quil, and Embry were still immersed in talk of parts and pieces when I decided that I needed to head back home before dad showed up here. With a sigh, I slid out of the Rabbit.

Jacob looked up, apologetic. "We're boring you, aren't we?"

"Naw." And it wasn't a lie. I was enjoying myself–how strange. "I just have to go cook dinner for dad."

"Oh… well, I'll finish taking these apart tonight and figure out something else we can do."

I smiled. "I don't mind you working. Heck, maybe you even can teach me how to ride after your finished with the bikes."

"Really?"

"Definitely."

"Awesome. When do you think you'll be back?"

"Could I come back tomorrow?" Sundays were the bane of my existence. There was never enough homework to keep me busy.

Quil nudged Embry's arm and they exchanged grins.

Jacob smiled in delight. "That would be great!"

Quil grinned widely at Embry and whispered something I didn't catch.

Jacob's hand flashed out to smack the back of Quil's head. "That's it, get out," he muttered.

"No, really, I have to go," I protested, heading for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jacob."

As soon as I was out of sight, I heard Quil and Embry chorus, "Wooooo!"

The sound of a brief scuffle followed, interspersed with an "ouch" and a "hey!"

I tuned in with my extra sense so I could hear.

"It's not like that," Jacob hissed.

They laughed. "sure its not Jake. How many crushes do you have?" Quil asked.

I giggled quietly. The sound made my eyes widen in wonder. I was laughing, actually laughing, and there wasn't even anyone watching. I felt so weightless that I laughed again, just make the feeling last longer.

Jacob groaned in embarrassment and I tuned out, laughing.

I beat dad home. When he walked in I was just taking the fried chicken out of the pan and laying it on a pile of paper towels.

"Hey, Dad." I flashed him a grin.

Shock flitted across his face before he pulled his expression together.

"Hey, honey," he said, his voice uncertain. "Did you have fun with Jacob?"

I started moving the food to the table. "Yeah, I did."

"Well, that's good." He was still cautious. "What did you two do?"

"I hung out in his garage and watched him work. Did you know he's rebuilding a Volkswagen?"

"Yeah, I think Billy mentioned that."

The interrogation had to stop when Charlie began chewing, but he continued to study my face as he ate.

* * *

The next day, I went over to Jake's again but we were soon headed out as we headed over to several places that had parts Jacob needed for the bikes and his car. It was natural with Jake. Easy. Perhaps, if I wasn't already in love with two vampires, I could have fallen for Jake. But I was already in a love triangle I didn't need a love square…or something. Or, if we were being partially realistic, I had just gotten out of a love triangle. I didn't need to jump head first into another one.

"I'm doing all the talking," Jacob complained after a long story about Quil and the trouble he'd stirred up by asking out a senior's steady girlfriend. "Why don't you take a turn? What's going on in Forks? It has to be more exciting than La Push."

"Wrong," I sighed. "There's really nothing. Your friends are a lot more interesting than mine. I like your friends. Quil's funny."

He frowned. "I think Quil likes you, too."

I laughed. "He's a little young for me."

Jacob's frown deepened. "He's not that much younger than you. It's just a year and a few months."

I had a feeling we weren't talking about Quil anymore. I kept my voice light, teasing. "Sure, but, considering the difference in maturity between guys and girls, don't you have to count that in dog years? What does that make me, about twelve years older?"

He laughed, rolling his eyes. "Okay, but if you're going to get picky like that, you have to average in size, too. You're so small, I'll have to knock ten years off your total."

"Five foot four is perfectly average." I sniffed. "It's not my fault you're a freak."

We bantered like that till Hoquiam, still arguing over the correct formula to determine age–I lost two more years because I didn't know how to change a tire, but gained one back for being in charge of the bookkeeping at my house–until we were in Checker, and Jacob had to concentrate again. We found everything left on his list, and Jacob felt confident that he could make a lot of progress with our haul.

By the time we got back to La Push, I was twenty-three and he was thirty–he was definitely weighting skills in his favor.

The day passed too quickly, especially after we got back to Jacob's. It got dark outside the mouth of the garage before I was expecting it, and then we heard Billy calling for us.

I jumped up to help Jacob put things away, hesitating because I wasn't sure what I should touch.

"Just leave it," he said. "I'll work on it later tonight."

"Don't forget your schoolwork or anything," I said, feeling a little guilty.

I didn't want him to get in trouble.

"Bella?"

Both our heads snapped up as dad's familiar voice wafted through the trees, sounding closer than the house.

"Coming!" I yelled toward the house.

"Let's go." Jacob smiled, enjoying the cloak-and-dagger. He snapped the light off, and for a moment I was blind. Jacob grabbed my hand and towed me out of the garage and through the trees, his feet finding the familiar path easily.

Despite the path, we were both tripping over our feet in the darkness. So we were also both laughing when the house came into view. The laughter did not go deep; it was light and superficial, but still nice. I was sure he wouldn't notice the faint hint of hysteria. I wasn't used to laughing, and it felt right and also very wrong at the same time.

Dad was standing under the little back porch, and Billy was sitting in the doorway behind them.

"Hey, Dad," we both said at the same time, and that started us laughing again.

Dad stared at me with wide eyes that flashed down to note Jacob's hand around mine.

"Billy invited us for dinner," dad said to us in an absentminded tone.

"My super secret recipe for spaghetti. Handed down for generations," Billy said gravely.

Jacob snorted. "I don't think Ragu's actually been around that long." I smiled at the look Billy gave his son.

The house was crowded. Harry Clearwater was there, too, with his family–his wife, Sue, whom I knew vaguely from my childhood summers in Forks, and his two children. Leah was a senior like me, but a year older. She was beautiful in an exotic way–perfect copper skin, glistening black hair, eyelashes like feather dusters–and preoccupied. She was on Billy's phone when we got in, and she never let it go. Seth was fourteen; he hung on Jacob's every word with idolizing eyes.

There were too many of us for the kitchen table, so dad and Harry brought chairs out to the yard, and we ate spaghetti off plates on our laps in the dim light from Billy's open door.

The men talked about the game, and Harry and dad made fishing plans. Sue teased her husband about his cholesterol and tried, unsuccessfully, to shame him into eating something green and leafy. Jacob talked mostly to me and Seth, who interrupted eagerly whenever Jacob seemed in danger of forgetting him. Dad watched me, trying to be inconspicuous about it, with pleased but cautious eyes.

* * *

At school, I was beginning to get annoyed with myself. I might as well have been packed in Styrofoam peanuts through the last semester.

No one looked up when I sat down next to Mike, even though the chair squealed stridently against the linoleum as I dragged it back.

I tried to catch up with the conversation.

Mike and Conner were talking sports, so I gave up on that one at once.

"Where's Ben today?" Lauren was asking Angela. I perked up, interested. I wondered if that meant Angela and Ben were still together.

"Ben's got the stomach flu," Angela said in her quiet, calm voice. "Hopefully it's just some twenty-four hour thing. He was really sick last night."

Angela had changed her hair. She'd grown out her layers.

"What did you two do this weekend?" Jessica asked, not sounding as if she cared about the answer. I'd bet that this was just an opener so she could tell her own stories. I wondered if she would talk about Port Angeles with me sitting two seats away? Was I that invisible, that no one would feel uncomfortable discussing me while I was here?

"We were going to have a picnic Saturday, actually, but… we changed our minds," Angela said. There was an edge to her voice that caught my interest.

Jess, not so much. "That's too bad," she said, about to launch into her story. But I wasn't the only one who was paying attention.

"What happened?" Lauren asked curiously.

"Well," Angela said, seeming more hesitant than usual, though she was always reserved, "we drove up north, almost to the hot springs–there's a good spot just about a mile up the trail. But, when we were halfway there… we saw something."

"Saw something? What?" Lauren's pale eyebrows pulled together. Even Jess seemed to be listening now.

"I don't know," Angela said. "We think it was a bear. It was black, anyway, but it seemed… too big."

Lauren snorted. "Oh, not you, too!" Her eyes turned mocking. "Tyler tried to sell me that one last week."

"You're not going to see any bears that close to the resort," Jessica said, siding with Lauren.

"Really," Angela protested in a low voice, looking down at the table. "We did see it."

Lauren snickered. Mike was still talking to Conner, not paying attention to the girls.

"No, she's right," I threw in impatiently.

"We had a hiker in just Saturday who saw the bear, too, Angela. He said it was huge and black and just outside of town, didn't he, Mike?"

There was a moment of silence. Every pair of eyes at the table turned to stare at me in shock.

The new girl, Katie, had her mouth hanging open like she'd just witnessed an explosion.

Nobody moved.

"Mike?" I muttered, mortified. "Remember the guy with the bear story?"

In my head, Aaron and Jason were roaring with laughter at my embarrassment. I made a mental note to club them when I got within range.

"S-sure," Mike stuttered after a second. I didn't know why he was looking at me so strangely. I talked to him the other day and told him I was out of my depression. Maybe he thought he had imagined it.

Mike recovered. "Yeah, there was a guy who said he saw a huge black bear right at the trailhead–bigger than a grizzly," he confirmed.

"Hmph." Lauren turned to Jessica, her shoulders stiff, and changed the subject.

"Did you hear back from USC?" she asked.

Everyone else looked away, too, except for Mike and Angela. Angela smiled at me tentatively, and I hurried to return the smile.

"So, what did you do this weekend, Bella?" Mike asked, curious, but oddly wary.

Everyone but Lauren looked back, waiting for my response.

"Friday night, Jessica and I went to a movie in Port Angeles. And then I spent Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday down at La Push."

The eyes flickered to Jessica and back to me. Jess looked irritated. I wondered if she didn't want anyone to know she'd gone out with me, or whether she just wanted to be the one to tell the story.

"What movie did you see?" Mike asked, starting to smile.

"Dead End–the one with the zombies." I grinned in encouragement. Maybe some of the damage I'd done in these past zombie months was reparable.

"I heard that was scary. Did you think so?" Mike was eager to continue the conversation.

"Bella had to leave at the end, she was so freaked," Jessica inserted with a sly smile.

I nodded, trying to look embarrassed. "It was pretty scary."

Mike didn't stop asking me questions till lunch was over.

Gradually, the others were able to start up their own conversations again, though they still looked at me a lot. Angela talked mostly to Mike and me, and, when I got up to dump my tray, she followed.

"Thanks," she said in a low voice when we were away from the table.

"For what?"

"Speaking up, sticking up for me."

"No problem."

She looked at me with concern, but not the offensive, maybe-she's-lost-it kind. "Are you okay?"

I tried to smile reassuringly but didn't quite manage. "Getting there, Ang."

"Will you tell me what happened?"

"Someday. When the wound heals better."

She somehow managed to half-smile, half-frown before she leaned in close to me.

"They didn't physically hurt you, did they?" She whispered.

I shook my head and relief colored her face. I smiled.

* * *

Later, I went down to La Push and Jake presented me with two finished motorcycles. And then, on the way up to the spot, I nearly had a heart attack when I saw Sam and the wolves cliff jumping. Except, I didn't realize it was Sam until afterwards.

"So who were those guys–the crazy ones?" I wondered.

He made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. "The La Push gang."

"You have a gang?" I asked. I realized that I sounded impressed.

He laughed once at my reaction. "Not like that. I swear, they're like hall monitors gone bad. They don't start fights, they keep the peace." He snorted.

"There was this guy from up somewhere by the Makah rez, big guy too, scary-looking. Well, word got around that he was selling meth to kids, and Sam Uley and his disciples ran him off our land. They're all about our land, and tribe pride… it's getting ridiculous. The worst part is that the council takes them seriously. Embry said that the council actually meets with Sam." He shook his head, face full of resentment. "Embry also heard from Leah Clearwater that they call themselves 'protectors' or something like that."

Jacob's hands were clenched into fists, as if he'd like to hit something. I'd never seen this side of him.

"You don't like them very much."

"Does it show?" he asked sarcastically.

"Well… It doesn't sound like they're doing anything bad." I tried to soothe him, to make him cheerful again. "Just sort of annoyingly goody-two-shoes for a gang."

"Yeah. Annoying is a good word. They're always showing off–like the cliff thing. They act like… like, I don't know. Like tough guys. I was hanging out at the store with Embry and Quil once, last semester, and Sam came by with his followers, Jared and Paul. Quil said something, you know how he's got a big mouth, and it pissed Paul off. His eyes got all dark, and he sort of smiled–no, he showed his teeth but he didn't smile–and it was like he was so mad he was shaking or something. But Sam put his hand against Paul's chest and shook his head. Paul looked at him for a minute and calmed down. Honestly, it was like Sam was holding him back–like Paul was going to tear us up if Sam didn't stop him." He groaned.

He probably was.

"Like a bad western. You know, Sam's a pretty big guy, he's twenty. But Paul's just sixteen, too, shorter than me and not as beefy as Quil. I think any one of us could take him."

"Tough guys," I agreed, silently distressed. Great, now I was lying to Jacob. Anyone else, Mr. Universe?

"Isn't Sam a little too old for this kind of thing?"

"Yeah. He was supposed to go to college, but he stayed. And no one gave him any crap about it, either. The whole council pitched a fit when my sister turned down a partial scholarship and got married. But, oh no, Sam Uley can do no wrong."

His face was set in unfamiliar lines of outrage–outrage and something else I didn't recognize at first.

"It all sounds really annoying and… strange. But I don't get why you're taking it so personally." I peeked over at his face, hoping I hadn't offended him. He was suddenly calm, staring out the side window. He was quiet until we reached the site.

"Jake? What else is bothering you?"

He sighed. "It's just… the way they treat me. It creeps me out." The words started to rush out now. "You know, the council is supposed to be made up of equals, but if there was a leader, it would be my dad. I've never been able to figure out why people treat him the way they do. Why his opinion counts the most. It's got something to do with his father and his father's father. My great-grandpa, Ephraim Black, was sort of the last chief we had, and they still listen to Billy, maybe because of that.

"But I'm just like everyone else. Nobody treats me special… until now."

That caught me off guard. "Sam treats you special?"

"Yeah," he agreed, looking up at me with troubled eyes. "He looks at me like he's waiting for something… like I'm going to join his stupid gang someday. He pays more attention to me than any of the other guys. I hate it."

So did I. Possibly more than he did. Simply because I knew what was coming for him. I didn't wish the supernatural on anyone.

"And?" I prompted after a moment.

"It's Embry. He's been avoiding me lately. It's not just me–it's Quil, too, and everyone. Embry missed a week of school, but he was never home when we tried to see him. And when he came back, he looked… he looked freaked out. Terrified. Quil and I both tried to get him to tell us what was wrong, but he wouldn't talk to either one of us."

I stared at Jacob, biting my lip anxiously. But he didn't look at me.

He watched his own foot kicking the rubber as if it belonged to someone else. The tempo increased.

"Then this week, out of nowhere, Embry's hanging out with Sam and the rest of them. He was out on the cliffs today." His voice was low and tense.

He finally looked at me. "Bella, they bugged him even more than they bother me. He didn't want anything to do with them. And now Embry's following Sam around like he's joined a cult.

"And that's the way it was with Paul. Just exactly the same. He wasn't friends with Sam at all. Then he stopped coming to school for a few weeks, and, when he came back, suddenly Sam owned him. I don't know what it means. I can't figure it out, and I feel like I have to, because Embry's my friend and… Sam's looking at me funny . . and…" He trailed off.

"Have you talked to Billy about this?"

I asked. His horror was spreading to me. I had chills running on the back of my neck.

Except for an entirely different reason. They were changing _now_. How had I been so blind? They were still hunting and still being threatened. I finally understood why I could no longer see concern in Billy's eyes for the past few weeks. A vampire was relatively close and they had forgotten all about me. I didn't need to worry about new devices because the new wolves wouldn't know. But apparently, I needed to go hunting.

Vampire hunting.

Now there was anger on his face. "Yes," he snorted. "That was helpful."

I felt sorry for Jake but I couldn't say anything. We rode our bikes and I helped him best I could but my mind was spinning. Who the hell was causing this much damage?

* * *

I had planned the trip for a week, making preparations and such, but when the day came, I woke up with stomach flu. Luckily, it was only a 24-hour thing, but the entire time I had a feeling that something wasn't right.

The moment I was sure I wasn't going to throw-up, I called Jacob.

Jacob was the one who answered, but when I heard his greeting chills ran down my spine.

"Hello?" His voice was broken, cracking.

"Oh, Jake," I groaned sympathetically. "You sound horrible."

"I feel horrible," he whispered.

"You'll get better soon," I promised. "I woke up this morning, and I was fine."

"You were sick?" he asked dully.

"Yes, I got it, too. But I'm fine now."

"That's good." His voice was dead.

"So you'll probably be better in a few hours," I encouraged.

I could barely hear his answer. "I don't think I have the same thing you did."

"Don't you have the stomach flu?" I asked, confused.

"No. This is something else."

"What's wrong with you?" Oh, how I had hoped it wouldn't be this soon!

"Everything," he whispered. "Every part of me hurts."

The pain in his voice was nearly tangible.

"What can I do, Jake? What can I bring you?"

"Nothing. You can't come here." He was abrupt.

"I've already been exposed to whatever you have," I pointed out, knowing it was in vain.

He ignored me. "I'll call you when I can. I'll let you know when you can come down again."

"Jacob –"

"I've got to go," he said with sudden urgency.

"Call me when you feel better."

"Right," he agreed, and his voice had a strange, bitter edge.

He was silent for a moment. I was waiting for him to say goodbye, but he waited too.

"I'll see you soon," I finally said, fighting back the tears.

"Wait for me to call," he said again.

"Okay… Bye, Jacob."

"Bella," he whispered my name, and then hung up the phone.

I hung up the phone slowly, letting a few tears slip down my face. He had changed. Dear heaven, he had _changed._ I quickly escaped to my room before my dad could see me. I couldn't explain to him why I was so upset. Couldn't just _one_ of my good friends be normal? Just one? Was that so much to ask?

'_Apparently so,_' Aaron said in my head sadly.

* * *

Over the next week, I basically made myself a nuisance. A part of me still foolishly hoped that Jacob wasn't changing. So I continued to call Billy and every time I got the same answer. "He's sick. We think he has mono. Don't come over until we call you."

At the end of the week, I battling against my depression with everything I had so I decided to go to the meadow. Maybe, just maybe, it would hold something there.

'_or it could just depress you further,'_ Aaron said, snarling slightly, but I ignored him. I had to do _something. _Some buried instinct told me that I had to wait to hunt this vampire. So, even though I fumed and tried to think of every reason under the sun to try and contradict the warning, I was forced to concede defeat and stay put.

But, when I got to the meadow, I found I was not alone.

"Laurent!" I cried in surprised pleasure. He was the first vampire I had physically seen in far too long. His perfect beauty gave me a sort of satisfaction that I couldn't quite explain.

"Bella?" he asked, looking more astonished than I felt.

"You remember." I smiled while internally rolling my eyes. _Of course_ he remembered. Perfect memory recall and all that wonderful jazz.

He grinned. "I didn't expect to see you here." He strolled toward me, his expression bemused.

"Isn't it the other way around? I do live here. I thought you'd gone to Alaska."

"You're right," he agreed. "I did go to Alaska. Still, I didn't expect…When I found the Cullen place empty, I thought they'd moved on."

"Oh." I bit my lip as the name set the raw edges of my wound throbbing. It took me a second to compose myself. Laurent waited with curious eyes.

"They did move on," I finally managed to tell him.

"Hmm," he murmured. "I'm surprised they left you behind. Weren't you sort of a pet of theirs?"

His eyes were innocent of any intended offense.

I smiled wryly. "Something like that."

"Hmm," he said, thoughtful again.

At that precise moment, I realized why he looked the same – too much the same. After Carlisle told us that Laurent had stayed with Tanya's family, I'd begun to picture him, on the rare occasions that I thought of him at all, with the same golden eyes that the…Cullens – I forced the name out, wincing – had. That all good vampires had.

I took an involuntary step back, and his curious, dark red eyes followed the movement.

My shield snapped into place around me and a let a little trinkle of power flow through my veins again.

"Do they visit often?" he asked, still casual, but his weight shifted toward me.

"Now and again." I tried to make my voice strained, as a scared human would do. "The time seems longer to me, I imagine. You know how they get distracted…"

"Hmm," he said again. "The house smelled like it had been vacant for a while…"

I tried. "I'll have to mention to Carlisle that you stopped by. He'll be sorry they missed your visit." I pretended to deliberate for a second. "But I probably shouldn't mention it to… Edward, I suppose –"

I barely managed to say his name, and it twisted my expression on the way out, ruining my bluff " – he has such a temper…well, I'm sure you remember. He's still touchy about the whole James thing." I rolled my eyes and waved one hand dismissively, like it was all ancient history, but I injected an edge of hysteria into my voice. I wondered if he would recognize what it was.

"Is he really?" Laurent asked pleasantly…skeptically.

I kept my reply short. "Mm-hmm."

Laurent took a casual step to the side, gazing around at the little meadow. I didn't miss that the step brought him closer to me. In my head, the Aaron responded with a low snarl.

"So how are things working out in Denali? Carlisle said you were staying with Tanya?" My voice was too high.

The question made him pause. "I like Tanya very much," he mused. "And her sister Irina even more…I've never stayed in one place for so long before, and I enjoy the advantages, the novelty of it. But, the restrictions are difficult…I'm surprised that any of them can keep it up for long." He smiled at me conspiratorially. "Sometimes I cheat."

"Oh," I said in a faint voice. "Jasper has problems with that, too."

I could feel five wolves in the trees around me. Waiting. Watching.

'_What could they possibly be waiting for?'_ Aaron snarled in fury.

'_Easy.' _I soothed him gently. '_He's just one lone vampire. They are probably thinking he's a friend or something. Relax. I won't die.'_

"Really?" Laurent seemed interested. "Is that why they left?"

"No," I answered honestly. "Jasper is more careful at home."

"Yes," Laurent agreed. "I am, too."

The step forward he took now was quite deliberate.

"Did Victoria ever find you?" I asked, slightly breathless. The adrenline that had kicked in left me out of breath. My body wasn't used to having access to the powers I held, so it was responding abnormally. Well, abnormally for me anyways.

But the question did stop him.

"Yes," he said, hesitating on that step. "I actually came here as a favor to her." He made a face. "She won't be happy about this."

"About what?" I said eagerly, senseing more to the story than he was telling me.

He looked back at me and smiled – the expression made him look like a black-haired angel.

"About me killing you," he answered in a seductive purr.

I staggered back another step. The frantic growling in my head made it hard to hear.

'_Hush!'_ I chastised him harshly.

"She wanted to save that part for herself," he went on blithely. "She's sort of…put out with you, Bella."

"Me?" I squeaked.

He shook his head and chuckled. "I know, it seems a little backward to me, too. But James was her mate, and your Edward killed him."

Laurent was oblivious to my reaction. "She thought it more appropriate to kill you than Edward – fair turnabout, mate for mate. She asked me to get the lay of the land for her, so to speak. I didn't imagine you would be so easy to get to. So maybe her plan was flawed –apparently it wouldn't be the revenge she imagined, since you must not mean very much to him if he left you here unprotected."

Aaron's snarl tore through my head and blocked everything out. I struggled to focus over his snarling.

Laurent's weight shifted slightly, and I stumbled another step back.

He frowned. "I suppose she'll be angry, all the same."

"Then why not wait for her?" I choked out. I wasn't only pretending for Laurent's sake. The wolves were still watching.

A mischievous grin rearranged his features. "Well, you've caught me at a bad time, Bella. I didn't come to this place on Victoria's mission – I was hunting. I'm quite thirsty, and you do smell… simply mouthwatering."

"He'll know it was you," I whispered. "You won't get away with this."

"And why not?" Laurent's smile widened. He gazed around the small opening in the trees. "The scent will wash away with the next rain. No one will find your body – you'll simply go missing, like so many, many other humans. There's no reason for Edward to think of me, if he cares enough to investigate."

How utterly, painfully true. Too bad that he had more to worry about than that.

"This is nothing personal, let me assure you, Bella. Just thirst."

"Please," I gasped.

Laurent shook his head, his face kind. "Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you."

"Am I?" I mouthed, faltering another step back.

Laurent followed, lithe and graceful.

"Yes," he assured me. "I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella…" He shook his head with a slow movement, almost as if in disgust. "I swear you'd be thanking me for this."

I hid my disgust. Right, I'm sure people thank you all the time for killing them.

He sniffed at the breeze that blew threads of my hair in his direction. "Mouthwatering," he repeated, inhaling deeply.

I tensed for the spring, my eyes squinting as I cringed away, feeling the wolves start to move. Through my narrowed eyes, I watched as Laurent paused in the act of inhaling and whipped his head abruptly to the left.

"I don't believe it," he said, his voice so low that I barely heard it.

I fought down my smirk. Believe it, _sucka_.

Sam came out of the trees then, a snarl ripping through his teeth as he stalked towards Laurent.

Another growl rumbled in its throat, and I shuddered away from the sound.

Laurent was backing toward the edge of the trees and I started to relax. So did Aaron. Which meant I could think again.

Victoria had to be the one causing all the phasing in La Push. But, she was just one lone vampire. There shouldn't be a reason for there to be five werewolves. And I had no doubt that they could take her on. So, why then, were they still phasing?

After Laurent and the wolves ran off, I went back home. I prepared and cooked dinner in a blur, I was aware that I was sinking back into my depression. I was aware of my dad's watchful eyes on my face. I had to find a way out of this but I didn't know where else to go. My life-what little was left of it-was here in Forks.

Aaron was being oddly quiet. Not offering any insight or even trying to pull me out of my depression. It was really quite odd-

Then it hit me.

I could go live with Aaron! Only for a few months. Give me time to heal and get back to a "normal" life. And I could spend some time with my kids and finally, _finally_ be a mother. I could protect them because Tasha was waiting for _something_ and wouldn't follow.

I shook my head, getting rid of the idea. What was I thinking? I couldn't leave dad here by himself with Victoria around!

'_The wolves would protect her,'_ an unfamiliar voice said in my head.

Who in the world…?

'_I'm hurt,'_ the voice continued, with a bit of humor. '_you don't even remember your own son?'_

It took me a moment to digest that.

'…_Jasper?'_

'_Presently speaking, ma'am.'_

I giggled while I craftily hid my horror. He sounded fourteen! No way in hell could he be that old already. I just had him last year for heavens sake! '_You sound like your namesake.'_

'_Pleased you think so.'_ I heard an undertone in his voice that had nothing to do with my horror, whether he felt it or not. I didn't push though.

'_But grandpa-' _I started.

He rolled his eyes. _'Will be just fine. Vicky hasn't gotten into Forks yet. There's five of them and only one of her. Grandpa will be just fine.'_

Still, I hesitated.

'_We'll be perfectly safe here. Besides, we all miss you.'_

That was what made my decision. Screw Tasha. Dang it all, I deserved the chance to be a mother before they all grew up!

"Dad?" I asked and I saw the worry in his eyes. Reaching across the table, I turned off the memory device. I watched his eyes go blank for a moment as the memories returned before he focused on me.

"What's up, Bells?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm leaving, dad."

He deflated. "Again?"

I nodded. "I just need some time to be with my family. To heal."

He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion before I light went off in his head. I could almost see it. "You mean Aaron, Rosalie, and Emmett?"

I blushed as I realized I had forgotten to tell him about Jasper.

'_Thanks mom'_ Jazz quipped.

'_oh, hush. Edward was always around.'_

'_uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.'_

I frowned and mentally swatted him before I turned my attention back to my dad. "Well…I had another kid."

I watched surprise cross his face follow swiftly by anger. "With…?" He didn't say the name but the implication was there.

"yes. Just…not in that way. I really don't know how its possible. We didn't get…physical. Its part of the supernatural. And _he_ doesn't know."

Dad nodded, pleased but trying to hide it. "What's the name?"

I smiled. "Jasper Anthony McCarthy. Born July 16th. When I left he had blonde hair and green eyes and he's an empath. Meaning he can feel emotions. He's such a cutie."

My smile grew as I felt Jazz's embarrassment.

So did my dad's. "When do you want to leave?"

"Probably about a week or so. Get everything straightened out with school. Tell them I'm going to see an out of state counselor and I'll be gone for a few months."

In my head, I could feel my family jumping for joy.

* * *

The next week and a half was brutal. Setting up an online account for each of my classes so I would stay on track was hard but would be so totally worth it. The days started to pass by super slowly. My free-time was spent trying to figure out how to deal with Jacob before I left, trying not to think about my excitement, and tracking Victoria. It didn't go very well.

Finally, it was the day to go to the airport. But, first to deal with Jacob.

I called the house and Billy answered after two rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Billy," I almost growled. I tried to sound more friendly as I continued. "Can I talk to Jacob, please?"

"Jake's not here."

What a shock. "Do you know where he is?"

"He's out with his friends." Billy's voice was careful.

"Oh yeah? Anyone I know? Quil?" I could tell the words didn't come across as casually as I'd meant them to.

"No," Billy said slowly. "I don't think he's with Quil today."

"Embry?" I asked.

Billy seemed happier to answer this one.

"Yeah, he's with Embry."

"Well, have him call me when he gets in, all right?"

"Sure, sure. No problem." Click.

"See you soon, Billy," I muttered into the dead phone.

Dad drove me down to La Push, suitcase in the trunk and pulled to a stop in front of the Black's house. Billy peeked out the window and seconds later Jacob was coming out with the pack close behind.

"Stay here and don't talk to Billy or the others unless necessary," I told my dad before getting out to meet Jacob.

"What are you doing here, Bella.'" Jacob growled when he was a couple feet away.

I stared at him in blank astonishment.

It was his expression that made him almost completely unrecognizable. The open, friendly smile was gone, the warmth in his dark eyes altered to a brooding resentment that was instantly disturbing.

"Jake?" I whispered in shock. Was becoming a werewolf that big of a change? Or was he being rude for my "protection?"

"What do you want?" He demanded, his expression becoming more resentful by the second.

Well, fine. Two could play this game. I reeled in my emotions and made my voice steel. "I want to talk to you."

He blinked in shock for a couple moments before glaring again.

"Go ahead."

"Alone." I said, deadly calm.

Like clockwork, he looked back at Sam. Sam met my eyes and for the briefest of seconds, familiarity crossed his face.

But as sudden as it had come, it was gone. Nonetheless, he slowly nodded at Jacob. Then he and the others turned and walked back into Jacob's house.

"Okay." Jacob seemed a bit less furious when the others were gone. His face was a little calmer, but also more hopeless. His mouth seemed permanently pulled down at the corners.

I took a deep breath. "You know what I want to know."

He didn't answer. He just stared at me bitterly.

I stared back and the silence stretched on. The pain in his face unnerved me. I felt a lump beginning to build in my throat.

"Can we walk?" I asked while I could still speak.

He didn't respond in any way; his face didn't change.

Jacob suddenly picked up the pace, striding ahead of me easily with his long legs, and then swinging around to face me, planting himself in my path so I would have to stop too.

"Let's get this over with," he said in a hard, husky voice.

I waited. He knew what I wanted. The exact thing he couldn't give me. Why in the world was I doing this again?

"It's not what you think." His voice was abruptly weary. "It's not what I thought – I was way off."

"So what is it, then?"

He studied my face for a long moment, speculating. The anger never completely left his eyes.

"I can't tell you," he finally said.

I forced my jaw tightened, and I spoke through my teeth. "I thought we were friends."

"We were." There was a slight emphasis on the past tense.

"But you don't need friends anymore," I said sourly. "You have Sam. Isn't that nice –you've always looked up to him so much."

"I didn't understand him before."

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah."

"It wasn't like I thought it was. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can."

His voice turned brittle and he looked over my head, past me, rage burning out from his eyes.

"He's helping you," I repeated dubiously. "Naturally."

But Jacob didn't seem to be listening. He was taking deep, deliberate breaths, trying to calm himself. He was so mad that his hands were shaking.

Whoops. Okay, Bella, time to back off a bit.

"Jacob, please," I whispered "Won't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."

"No one can help me now." The words were a low moan; his voice broke.

"What did he do to you?" I demanded, tears collecting in my eyes. I knew that Sam hadn't done anything. Not really. But if I were anyone else, I might have thought that.

I reached out to him, as I had once before, stepping forward with my arms wide.

This time he cringed away, holding his hands up defensively. "Don't touch me," he whispered.

"Is Sam catching?" I mumbled. The stupid tears had escaped the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand, and folded my arms across my chest.

"Stop blaming Sam." The words came out fast, like a reflex. His hands reached up to twist around the hair that was no longer there, and then fell limply at his sides.

"Then who should I blame?" I retorted.

He halfway smiled; it was a bleak, twisted thing.

"You don't want to hear that."

"The hell I don't!" I snapped. "I want to know, and I want to know now."

"You're wrong," he snapped back.

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong – I'm not the one who got brainwashed! Tell me now whose fault this all is, if it's not your precious Sam!"

"You asked for it," he growled at me, eyes glinting hard. "If you want to blame someone, why don't you point your finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much?"

My mind went blank as four, furious roars echoed in my head. Had he just said that?

Had he really, truly, seriously just said that? _Knowing_ how much that it hurt me?

Maybe I had given the wolves here too much credit.

My mouth still hung wide.

"I told you that you didn't want to hear it," he said.

"I don't understand who you mean," I whispered mechanically, too shocked and hurt to be diplomatic.

He raised one eyebrow in disbelief. "I think you understand exactly who I mean. You're not going to make me say it, are you? I don't like hurting you."

"I don't understand who you mean," I repeated mechanically.

"The Cullens," he said slowly, drawing out the word, scrutinizing my face as he spoke it. "I saw that – I can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name."

It took me too long to come up with the correct response. "Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitious nonsense now," I said with a feeble attempt at mockery. I pushed the pain away and stood up straighter. Unwrapping my arms that I had unknowingly wrapped around my stomach.

"He knows more than I gave him credit for."

"Be serious, Jacob."

He glared at me, his eyes critical.

"Superstitions aside," I said quickly. "I still don't see what you're accusing the... Cullens"–wince –"of. They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?"

"Sam isn't doing anything, Bella. And I know they're gone. But sometimes…things are set in motion, and then it's too late."

"What's set in motion? What's too late? What are you blaming them for?"

He was suddenly right in my face, his fury glowing in his eyes. "For existing," he hissed.

Unbidden, Mike-the fourth wolf-danced in front of my eyes. I lowered my gaze. Visions…memories of all the timeless times we'd argued over my stance and everything I had done or didn't do. The stance he stubbornly held onto and wouldn't let go.

Without really realizing I was talking, I murmured to Jake the one sentence I had told Mike countless times.

"At the end of the war, when the final battle comes…you'll be wrong."

Jake backed up the fight and fury instantly leaving his eyes and confusion took his place.

"What are you talking about Bella?"

I winced; I hadn't meant to say that.

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. I didn't really come over here expecting an answer."

The fight and anger was gone from him now. "Bella?"

I took a deep breath and met his gaze. "I'm leaving, Jacob."

"Leaving?"

I nodded. "I can't do this anymore. Not alone. I've been hurt to many times. Too many more holes and I'm going to collapse. So I'm going to spend some time with some extended family."

Pain crossed his features. "Bella…"

"I know what you can't say. And I understand. I can't tell you how, but I do understand how you feel. But, it doesn't matter. I just wanted to let you know I was leaving."

He shaking again, but this time in sadness.

I looked away from his eyes. "It won't be forever. Just so I can heal. Move on with my life, ya know?"

I paused, waiting for him to say something but he said nothing.

I shrugged. "So that's it. I just wanted to say goodbye."

And with that, I turned and walked away. I was aware of the pack's and Billy's eyes on me through the window as I started walking back to the cruiser. I was just passing the house again when he called out to me.

"Bella, wait!"

I turned, shocked, as he came running up to me. He was resigned to the pain. But curiosity was evident in his eyes.

"Bella…"

I waited.

"What did you mean, Bella? What battle? What _war_?"

I shook my head. "Never mind. It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters!"

"Just let it go, Jake. If you are meant to know, you'll figure it out eventually."

"But-" he broke off as he looked over my shoulder to my dad and changed his question. "When are you leaving?"

"Today. We're heading to the airport right now."

He followed sullenly as I walked to the car.

I looked up at him as I stood by the passenger door and he in front of the car.

"Protect them, Jake. I know you can."

Then I got in the car and we headed to the airport, leaving a very confused pack of wolves in our wake.

It didn't matter.

I was going _home._

* * *

So i made this one extra long since its been a long time. With any luck, the next chapter will be up soon though it will be shorter and a little harder cause i have to make it up on my own now.

Don't forget to review!

If no one is still with this story, there really isn't a reason to keep writing is there?


	7. Home Again

RecapofADM: _Bella __has __woken __up __from __her __depression. __She __has __found __that __not __only __has __Tasha __managed __to __turn __some __wolves __to __her __side, __she __also __got __the __fourth __wolf -Mike- to __turn __to __her __side __and __he __tried __to __take __out __Bella. __He __scarred __her __face __and __along __her __shoulders. __Bella __didn__'__t __go__ "__mental__" __and __isn__'__t __seeing __Edward __or __hearing __his __voice. __She __didn__'__t __confront __the __four __guys __in __Port __Angeles __and __she __isn__'__t __desperate __to __find __dangerous __things. __Though __she __did __ride __motorcycles __but __didn__'__t __get __hurt. __She __realized __that __Victoria __is __around __and __causing __the __wolves __to __change, __but __after __Jacob __Black __changes, __she __decides __to __go __to __live __with __her __family __for __a __few __months. __It__'__s __the __beginning __of __February._

* * *

I closed my eyes as the plane took off from the Sea-Tac Airport. I would be on the plane for quite a while, so why not take advantage of the situation and take a nap? Sometime between the time that I had helped my family build a new house in Quebec and the time that I had been forced out of my depression state by Mike, Aaron had taken the kids and moved to forests of Ireland. The house was completely hidden and you had to either be a searching vampire or a member of the family to actually know where it was. I had to admit, I was curious to see the new house. Especially since they had moved in less than a year after the new house. This was one of the very few times, that I wished that I could control the time flow. From Seattle, I had to take a flight to Texas, there was a two hour lay over in Texas, then from Texas another flight to Virginia, another two hour lay over, and then finally a flight to Ireland. Once in Ireland, after I was checked in and did everything there, I would head over to Aaron's house.

After I got to Aaron's…well. Who knows what would happen? First off, little baby Jasper was no longer little, nor was he a baby. He sounded like he was at least fourteen. Which, if I was being honest, scared me to death. We still didn't know if their aging would stop which made Jasper's growth rate even more terrifying. On top of that, I was fairly certain that Jasper harbored some deeply rooted hatred towards Edward. Trying to convince him that Edward was actually trying to help me was going to be _quite_ the task.

But on the good side, I was finally, _finally_, getting to be the mom that I wanted to be. It may only be for a few months but it was still something. I would also get to spend time and get to know Liz better. I only very briefly got to know her when I had Jasper and even then most of that was spent with me being sick. Not the best situation for bonding with someone.

But even above all this, I was going _home._

After years of running and lying, years of pretending, years of hearing but not seeing, years of worrying, years of wanting to just be able to have a single glimpse of my family- a single hug, a single kiss, a single 'I love you'- and years of fear I was finally going home. Everyone always says, "Home is where mom is." Except for me, it was where my family lived. My real family. Aaron and my children. I loved my parents, the Cullens, and the wolves. But Aaron and my children…they were everything. I was nothing without them. They would always come first. I would go to the end of the world and back for them.

And despite all the hardships and heartache I have been put through to protect them, I wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

Nearly a day later, I was finally headed through the forest to where my family was waiting for me. I was nervous and excited, but cautious. It wasn't certain that someone from Tasha's coven hadn't followed.

It was exhilarating to be able to fly through the forest at my normal speed instead of human speed. For my eyes not to be able to follow or keep up with my speed, instead only relying on my wind sense to guide me. Still, it took what seemed like an eternity to reach Aaron's house.

One never really understands how much stress one holds onto until they release it. I can't accurately describe the overwhelming relief and freedom I felt when I stepped into the small clearing and saw Aaron, Emmett, and Rosalie standing in front of the small house waiting to greet me. Emmett and Rosalie were in their small six-year-old forms. My breath caught and tears misted my eyes as I looked at them. They waited for a moment to see if I was still capable of movement before the two of them rushed forward with twin cries of "momma!"

I sucked in a sharp breath and dropped to my knees as they rushed into my arms.

"Welcome home, mom," Rose said as she and Emmett wrapped their arms around my neck.

"Oh, Rose. Oh, Emmett. My twins. My precious twins," I breathed quietly as I held them, taking in their smell and the feel of being able to hold them in my arms again.

After a couple minutes, they pulled back.

"Why are you crying, momma?" Em asked

I gave a soft laugh, unsurprised that the moisture had run over. I wiped the tears away but more quickly replaced them.

"Cause I'm happy, sweetie. Oh so happy."

They smiled and changed to their older forms-which, I noticed with a slight tremor, looked to be about seventeen now- as we stood and walked to the house. I continued to hold each of their hands in mine. Aaron stood to the side of the door as I shared a brief hug and greeting with Liz before sending them back inside as I turned to Aaron.

"You again?" he tried to growl and be menacing, but the odd smirk on his face- meaning he was trying to suppress a smile- ruined the effect.

I rolled my eyes for his benefit, too happy to even try to pretend that we were fighting.

He let his smile come through and put some fake irritation into his voice as he regarded me.

"You're like an annoying boomerang. No matter how many times I try to get rid of you, you always find a way back."

"What can I say?" I murmured as he took me into his arms and kissed my tear-stained cheeks. He held me in his arms, neither of us saying anything, as I reveled and relaxed under the safety of his embrace.

"You always come back," he murmured into my hair.

"Mmmm. Your cooking is too good to stay away from." I said as I pulled away.

"Oh, really?" he said, mock glaring down at me.

Some would say that I "ruined the moment" but that's just how we were. Our joking was to us as sweet, mushy, romantic lines were to others. I could be romantic, I _was_ a woman after all, but it was just too odd with Aaron. We just weren't like that.

I laughed. "Really. Now, come on. I believe you have a much-older-than-expected son to introduce me too."

Aaron looked at me with an expression that I couldn't quite read but he led me inside nonetheless.

Emmett and Liz were in the kitchen, which was next to the living room, talking with Rose. My eyes only briefly scanned over them. My attention was instead draw to the fourteen-year-old boy in Aaron's-_our-_ living room. He took my breath away.

He had a head of blonde hair and high cheekbones. Compared to his brother, he was slightly shorter, his complexion a few shades lighter, and much leaner. Taking another look at his hair, I noticed a hint of bronze sticking out from under the blonde. It would seem that he's wearing a blonde wig. Most definitely an Edward-hating complex there.

His eyes were hidden from me. They were instead studying the carpet between us with an intensity that couldn't be healthy. But his endearing shyness could not completely over-shadow his curiosity. Every few seconds, his eyes would flicker up to me briefly before going back down to study the carpet.

I studied him for a few more moments before I closed the distance between us. His eyes stopped flickering and he now resolutely studied the carpet.

"I have not seen you since you were two months old," I whispered softly and soothingly before I gently grasped his chin and forced his gaze up to mine. "I want to see your eyes."

I smiled as I gazed into his bright emerald green eyes. But those eyes could not hold my gaze for long as they flickered away shyly.

I laughed softly. "Are you always this endearingly shy?" I asked.

Jasper's cheeks darkened somewhat- a hybrid's version of blushing- while Emmett scoffed.

"Jasper? Shy? Please!"

Jasper flushed more and I decided to help him out.

"At least he doesn't bulldoze my houses, Emmett…" I trailed off as Liz and Rose laughed at him.

I smiled back at Jasper, adding a wink that finally brought forth the real smile that I had been waiting to see.

I wrapped my arm around Jasper's neck as we walked over to the couch. "Ignore your brother. I usually do." I jokingly whispered.

"Hey!" Emmett protested as the girls giggled again.

Jasper laughed softly as we sat down. He was starting to lose his shyness as became more comfortable around me. I exchanged my arm around his neck for taking his hands in mine.

"I've waited so long to meet you, mom."

I smiled as tears once again wet my eyes. "As have I, my dear empath. I thought it would be so much longer before I would be able to see you. Be able to hear your voice. Be able to hold your hands in mine. I am sad, though, that you seem to have completed nearly half your life without me. Although, I'm sure you've heard about that from your siblings."

"I'm sorry you've missed so much."

I laughed and tapped his nose. "Silly boy. Of all the things to apologize about, you pick the thing you can't control."

He laughed quietly.

I cupped his face with my hand lovingly. "You turned out better than I could ever hope for."

He smiled back sweetly so I should have caught on then. None of my kids ever did something _sweetly. _Except when I was upset, but that was different.

Moving faster than I could comprehend, he moved forward blowing my face which caused me to blink and then playfully licked my nose.

I blinked a couple times in shock while he smiled cheekily at me.

I shook my head and laughed quietly. I looked back up at his dancing eyes. "Oh, really?"

He was at a disadvantage. He hadn't encountered my speed before. Faster than he could blink, I had him pinned on the ground- his arms under my knees while I sat on his chest.

He blinked up at me in shock and I laughed.

"Damn," he swore breathlessly. "And I thought _I_ was fast."

"I'm sure you are. I'm just faster."

He shook his head slightly and then squirmed a little. "Umm…can you let me up now?"

I grinned and I heard Emmett snort from in the kitchen.

Jasper looked slightly apprehensive. He had good reason. It helped that he could feel my mischievousness.

"Tell me, dear Jasper…are you ticklish?"

His eyes flipped wide and he tried to escape as I casually reached under my legs to his sides.

"Wait! Mom, no!" He pleaded before I dug my fingers into his sides.

He let off a muffled, choked laugh as he bit his lip, struggling not to laugh.

I frowned slightly. "Hmm... That's not gonna do."

I continued to wiggle my fingers in his sides as he struggled to free himself. I felt him try to depress or sadden me with his gift but I just smirked.

"Ah, ah, ah. That's not gonna work. I've had experience with throwing off your gift. Gonna have to do better then that."

I was dimly aware of Aaron and Rose taking pictures and recording this but I didn't pay them any attention.

His face was starting to darken in an effort to keep his laughs in.

Pursing my lips, I reached back behind me and started to knead his hips, going under his jeans so my nails also scratched along his hips.

It didn't take long for him to break.

"Mmmmffft…ahahahah! Mohahahahamm! Sthahaop!"

"Now why would I want to do that?" I asked with a grin as I moved back to tickle his sides.

"Ahahahahahahaha! Stahahahahap ihihihihit!" he pleaded, wriggling and giggling from the prison of my legs.

"Hmm…and what are you going to do for me?"

"Mohahahamm! Stohaha-NOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE! " He shouted when I moved my hands to his armpits, his legs kicking behind me and scrambling for purchase on the carpet.

"Oohhh, did I hit a sweet spot, jazzy? Hmm?"

The others giggled behind me, having experienced it themselves several times already.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEHAHAHAHAHAHAHEASE! STAHAHAHahahahahahahAHAHAHAP!"

"Oh, all right," I sighed over-dramatically as I stopped tickling him and got off. I wasn't sadistic, after all. I left that to Aaron and Jason…and Jane, but she was a different kind of sadistic.

"Good heaven," Jasper panted as he lay on the floor trying to catch his breath, giggles still escaping him every few seconds, a smile still on his face.

I giggled as I sat back on the couch. "There. Much better when you're smiling."

Emmett laughed. "Bet you're not so shy anymore, huh Jazz?"

Jasper sat up and leaning back on his arms, mock-glaring at me. "I hate you."

I smiled back sweetly. "Love you too, baby. Besides, you got off easy. If it was Aaron, he'd spend _at __least_ five minutes just on your armpits."

Aaron laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me up from the couch.

I cocked my head at him, a question in my eyes.

He smiled mysteriously. "Come on. There's some one else you need to meet."

"Jasper has a girlfriend?" I asked, looking back at the boy still lounging on the floor.

But Aaron shook his head. "No. It's a little hard to explain. Just come on."

With that, he led me back out of the house, but going in the opposite direction than the town that I had come in from.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we sped through the forest.

"A couple towns over. He's been traveling with us for about a year now. But when we heard that you were coming, as ecstatic as we were, we were also concerned for him. Since you don't know him, you could mistake him as a threat. Which would be reasonable because of everything that's been going on but we didn't want to take the chance. So we arranged for him to have a hotel room for the last week."

I gaped at him as we slowed to human pace and made our way to a nice, but normal-meaning not super expensive-, hotel.

I could sense him the moment we stepped into town but I let Aaron lead me to this mysterious supernatural man anyways. I tried to make myself relax. Aaron would not let someone travel with us unless he absolutely trusted him. But no matter what I told myself and how at ease Aaron was I could not relieve my tension by the time we were at the door.

_Knock __knock-knock __knock_. Pause. _Knock-knock_. Pause. _Knock_.

I heard the locks unlatch and unlock but the door did not open. Instead the person backed up and waited for us to come in.

Now, I had encountered quite the number of supernatural in the last ten years. Probably more than most encountered in a lifetime. But for the life of me, I could not determine what species was behind the door!

Aaron grasped the handle and twisted, giving me a look that said '_be__nice,__'_ before he pushed the door open.

Whatever I had been expecting, it certainly wasn't a well-muscled, Indian-skinned, brunette haired, fourteen-to-fifteen-year-old boy.

His brown eyes held steady with my own, but the way he held himself gave away his tension and nervousness. His back was rim-rod straight with his shoulders held stiffly back. He would subtly shift his weight every few moments and his eyes would start to shy away from mine before he caught himself.

And yet, even standing in front of him and scrutinizing him, I could not determine what species he was. His skin was lighter than Jacob Black's, but was dark enough that he couldn't be confused as a tanned white boy. And he had the most peculiar smell and sense to him. My kids had an odd one to begin with because of what they were, but this boy's was even stranger.

But he wasn't a threat. I wasn't sure where the knowledge came from, but somehow I just knew that he was safe.

"What…" I trailed off, not knowing how to phrase my questions. "What species are you?"

An ironic smile twisted his lips as he gave a little scoff and his eyes flickered over to Aaron.

"Well, Bella. That's a little complicated. See, he's what we call a triple-hybrid."

I glanced sharply at Aaron then. "A _triple_ hybrid?"

"Yes. He's part human, part vampire…. and part werewolf."

I stared at the boy in shock. "Not trying to offend you…but how the hell does that work?"

He smirked at me and I gave a timid smile back.

Aaron laughed. "We're not really sure. He has a heartbeat, but its slower than a human's or a normal werewolf, when he phases he clothes pop in and out, and when he's like this he has strength and speed of a vampire."

I blinked at him.

The boy laughed. "I'm just all kinds of messed up, huh?"

I gave him a look. "You're still more normal than I am. What's your name, by the way?"

"Jacob Ryan. I usually go by Ryan."

I noticed he didn't give a last name. "Your family?"

He opened his mouth, but paused and looked to Aaron.

"Bella."

I looked over at him and noticed he was slightly nervous with the same look that he had when I asked him to introduce me to my "older-than-expected son."

"We found Ryan about a month after you headed back to Forks after having Jasper. He has the same super-advanced growth rate. He was all alone wandering the woods. We searched all over but could find no trace of anyone else there. The only thing he had was his clothes and a tag around his neck that had his name. Since then we've…well, we've sort of adopted him."

I looked at him with wide but accusing eyes. I was a little miffed that he didn't tell me about the addition, even if I _was_ supposed to be in hiding.

Aaron laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. But we've added him to the family and he even has the McCarthy connection now."

"Really?"

'_Really.__'_ Ryan's voice sounded in my head and I jumped a little.

I stared at him for a minute before I closed my eyes, letting my other senses and instincts take over. I could feel everything so much it was overwhelming. Aaron, Ryan, the people and cars outside…everything. But I felt no sense of danger from anywhere in the surrounding area. More importantly, I felt no danger from the boy who wished to be my son.

I opened my eyes, truly smiled at him, and held out my arms. "Welcome to my family."

His shoulders relaxed before he rushed into my arms, burying his face into the crook of my neck. "Mom," he whispered and I could hear the suppressed tears in his voice.

I brought one of my hands up and ran it through his dark-brown hair soothingly, my mother instincts kicking in despite the little amount of time I had known him.

"It's okay, sweetie," I soothed. "It's okay. I'm here now."

After a few moments, he pulled away, wiping his eyes and muttered an apology.

I smiled and kissed his forehead. "Silly boy. Come on. Let's go home and you can show me how fast you can run. Hybrid and werewolf."

He grinned at me, falling easily into his roll as my son.

Turns out, he was quite fast. Slightly faster than normal as a hybrid and also slightly fast than a normal werewolf as a werewolf.

Apparently, Jasper was faster than normal as well, according to Aaron. Faster than Edward, most likely. So, Jasper and Ryan often had races since they were the fastest of the group. It helped them train too. Healthy competition was good. Jasper and Ryan were my "second set of twins."

That night, I settled into bed next to Aaron and thought nothing of it.

"Too bad you can't stay here forever."

I smiled. "Hmmm. You know I can't. Eventually I have to go back and deal with the wolves and Victoria."

"Victoria is James' third mate, right?"

"Yup. She's actually quite good. I think she has an instinct for danger. She's managed to evade quite a few wolves in her effort to get to me."

"Why does she want you? Does she know what you are?"

"Nah. It's probably the whole mate-for-mate philosophy thing. Not to worry. I'm sure she won't be able to hurt anyone to badly. Though I am getting ticked that her presence is causing more wolves than necessary to change."

"It's nothing compared to what you've had to go through."

"That's true. It's still not fair to them though."

"If they have a heart, they'll understand."

I hit him playfully in the chest. "Be nice. Our situation is a strange one. It's not exactly easy to understand."

He snorted. "What's so hard to understand? You're an elemental, I'm a vampire, we have hybrid kids, and we have obsessed, crazy vampires after us."

I laughed. "You're right. That is so amazingly simple! Why didn't I see it before?" I teased.

He poked me in the side and I twitched. "Brat."

I smiled cheekily at him. "Learned from the best."

In one of his rare lightning quick moves that I wasn't able to track, he had straddled me. He tried to pin my arms but I managed to interlock our fingers instead. I recognized the 'I'm-going-to-tickle-you-until-you-scream-and-beg-for-mercy' look, but with his hands interlocked with mine I didn't know how he was going to accomplish that.

He grinned and I sucked in a breath, clenching my teeth together, my fingers tightening and my toes curling as I felt a pair of tickling tingles along my sides. I mentally swore. I'd forgotten about his tickling through our connection.

His grin widened at my reactions and at my defiant stare. After all, I hadn't developed my tickle tactics on my own.

I tried to concentrate of breathing and uncurling and re-curling my toes, and it was working.

Until he suddenly changed tactics and suddenly it felt like a dozen tickling fingers on my stomach. I didn't have a prayer.

"HahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I shrieked, trying to close off the connection and my body instinctively trying to escape the invisible fingers on my stomach. One would think that being pinned while being tickled mentally wouldn't do anything, but it did. It gave the sense of helplessness, which made the tickling worse.

"Who did you learn your cheekiness from?" he asked.

"You!" I gasped out in between laughs. I knew I was asking for trouble but I couldn't help it. I wouldn't lose so easily.

His eyes widened in surprise at my blatant defiance. The tickling got stronger

"NohohoHOHOHAHAHAHAHAAA!" I shrieked, as my struggling got stronger. If he hadn't been tickling, I would have been able to throw him off but since he _was_ tickling I was much weaker.

"Oh, yes. I haven't been able to do this in _ages_, little ticklish Bella," he teased, starting to push my arms back down onto the bed. I was now effectively pinned.

"HAHAHAHA QUIHIHIHIT IT!"

"Hmmm. Who taught you to be cheeky?"

"Youhuhu!"

"Oh, really?"

Tingling that felt like nails raked along the inside of my bellybutton. I squealed and my laughter went up an octave as my back arched and twisted, trying to escape the phantom nails and fingers.

"NOHOHOHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHAHAHahahahAHAHAT THAT! HAHAHAHAHEHEHEEHEHAHAHAHAH!" I howled as I continued to twist from side to side, Aaron grinning all the while.

I was vaguely aware of a giggling that wasn't mine, but I was unsure of whether it was coming from my kids or my "siblings."

After a few more minutes, he withdrew some of the phantom fingers- allowing me to breathe easier but still tickling.

He waited. I knew what he wanted to hear.

"Bastard," I gasped out between laughs.

The tickling actually stopped for a few seconds as he stared at me in shock. I tried to push him off but I was still weak from the tickling and he had recovered enough to push me back down.

"Oh, you are _sooo_ in for it now, girl!" He grinned maliciously and the tickling came back full force. But I was also watching him as he shifted his hold on me as I laughed. He moved from straddling my waist to sitting on my thighs, keeping my wrists in his hands, he made his evil move.

I gasped as a ticklish electric current coursed through my veins. My back arched and I tried to buck my hips, but he held my waist firmly between his arms as he flicked and swirled his tongue in and out of my bellybutton. Combined with the phantom fingers along my sides and stomach, and the phantom nails scraping the inside of my bellybutton, the tongue was torture.

"NOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOT THAHAHAHAHA TONGUE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" I shrieked, trying desperately to escape the electric current running through my veins that only intensified with each swirl of Aaron's tongue.

Aaron didn't answer, mentally or out loud. He only continued his torment.

"HAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!"

My legs started kicking instinctively under the onslaught, trying to find purchase and leverage as tears wet my cheeks.

"I'M SOHAHAHAHAHARY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I felt his smile against my stomach but instead of stopping, he pushed his tongue further into my bellybutton, increasing the ticklish current.

"AARHAHAHAHAHAHAHNNN! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP! PLEHEHEHEHEASE! I'M BEGGING YOUHOHOHOHOU!"

He pulled his head up and the phantom nails in my bellybutton disappeared.

"Now, let's try this again," Aaron said grinning. "Who did you learn to be cheeky from?"

"Not you," I gasped out between laughs.

Some of the phantom fingers disappeared but enough remained to keep me giggling.

"So who did?"

"It doesn't matter!" I squealed as the occasional phantom nail dipped back into my bellybutton. "Jason! Leslie! Emmett! Mom! Phil! Someone! Just not you! Aaron, plehehehese!"

The rest of the fingers withdrew and he got off of me, lying back down next to me-propped up on one elbow as I lay gasping.

After my breathing slowed down, I glared at him.

Well, I tried anyways. The effect is kinda marred when you're exhausted from laughing. "I hate you."

He grinned. "That's just cause I always win."

I slapped his chest lightly. "Meanie."

He just laughed.

"Ughh." I groaned. "You wore me out. I'm really tired now."

"That's your fault. You would have been fine if you admitted defeat earlier and hadn't called me a bastard."

"Hmmm…" I murmured, my blinking starting to get longer and it was getting harder to open my eyes.

He gave a soft laugh and then he kissed my forehead. "Sleep now, my Bella. You've had quite the day."

I smiled sleepily.

I vaguely wondered as I drifted sleepily-but not yet asleep- if I was chasing after the wrong vampire.

* * *

Sorry to anyone who doesn't like tickling or who thinks I used it too much in this chapter, but if you recall its how this family plays around. I've mentioned it several times before. Anyways, for all you BxA lovers…which is pretty much all of you I think…there's a cute/bittersweet BxA moment next chapter. It should be up within a week. I promise. I've got most of it written already.

As always, please review! They keep me going when I otherwise would have stopped writing. When I get done, I go back and reread them.

By the way, is everyone out there BxA shippers or are there still some BxE?

**Katie**: Thank you. I try

**Hlwareham**: Thank you. You'll love the next chapter, if you like seeing Bella and Aaron interactions

**Canis****lupus****lover**: Thank you. I'm glad you find it interesting. At the beginning when I first started writing the Vampire Encounter series, I had planned on BxE. Now, I'm not so sure. Guess time will tell.

**Ruskie****Roo**: Hopefully, you didn't have to go back and look at the other chapters. Hope you like this chapter

**Partially-insane22**: Thank you!

**Lizzie****Sixx**: I've been dealing with a mysterious un-diagnosable stomach problem, but I'm pretty much all better now. Thanks though

**Claire****Thomas**: Well, technically, if you throw your memory back. Sam, Paul, Jared, Billy, and the council already know a bit about Bella but cause of her little memory devices they don't remember. I also have no intention of Jacob making it a 'love square.' She needs at least one guy who doesn't have romantic connections.

**Random****Person**: Thank you for the long review. And I don't mind rambling at all. Those are usually the best reviews to read. They make me laugh and smile and make me wanna write more

**Angel/MilitaryGirl:**Thank you! I'm glad you're still with me!

**Alice****Vampire**: Oh, I love your reviews. They always make me smile. I'm glad you're still with me. You were one of my first reviewers when this whole thing started.

**Cerriddwen**: Yay! Lol I took your recap suggestion to heart. Don't know why I didn't think of doing that before lol. Unfortunately…I haven't read the HP books. I kinda missed that train. Lol. Thanks for the typically long review. They make my day and make me smile

**Slushie**: I will! Thanks for the review

**GiGiCullen-Jackson:** Uhh…I'm not sure what "!" is supposed to mean. Excited? Surprised? I'll take it as a good thing though


	8. You are ours

Recap: _Bella __arrived __in __Ireland __to __find __that __little __baby __Jasper __is __actually __fourteen. __On __top __of __that, __he __doesn__'__t __seem __to __like __Edward __at __all. __She __also __finds __that __she __now __has __an __adopted __son __about __the __same __age __as __Jasper __named __Ryan._

* * *

Before I had completely woken up, I knew it was too early. But I still felt entirely rested.

My eyes blearily blinked open slowly. Only the barest hint of light filtered through window into the room.

"You're up early."

I turned my head to see Aaron reading a book. Except it looked like a research book instead of a book that you read for fun.

"What time is it?" For some reason, my voice-which didn't sound at all like I had just woken up from sleep- unnerved me.

"Five am."

My eyes widened. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "I figured you'd sleep in til at least ten am. Especially after yesterday and last night."

I sat up but then quickly laid back down when I felt the chill of the morning.

Aaron laughed softly as I pulled the covers up to my neck and rolled over to face him.

"What are you reading? Researching? Whatever."

Aaron rolled his eyes. "I'm researching, Bella."

There was something odd in his voice that made me pause. "Researching what?"

He hesitated and his eyes flickered away from the big book to briefly look at my face.

"Aaron?" I sat up slightly, the covers pooling at my waist.

He sighed. "How to make you immortal."

"Oh." I murmured softly.

In the middle of keeping my secret and kids safe, I often forgot that I was in almost as much danger as they were. A vampire bite was poison to me but I was supposed to be able to permanently mend the rift between all three species.

I rolled onto my back. "Maybe I'm not supposed to live forever."

He was suddenly towering over me; his knees on the outside of my legs, hands on either side of my head, and his expression intense and distressed. "Don't say that."

"But, what if-"

"No."

"Aaron-"

"No."

I gave him an exasperated look.

He leaned his head closer to mine. "No."

"But-"

"No."

"But what if," I started, moving my hand to cover his mouth when he made to interrupt me again. "What if, I'm supposed to be a memory? A moment in history? An example to everyone else that all three species really _can_ get along?"

"No." His tone was desperate. "Don't say that. Don't _think_ that."

"Aaron…" I murmured.

He shook his head. "This world is a harsh and cruel one, but I refuse to believe that whatever god exists upstairs would do that. That he would give you to us for less than a century and then rip you from us while we continue to exist on forever."

My eyes narrowed. "But he'll give me kids and a family and let _them_ die before their parents?"

He shook his head, pulling back to look earnestly into my eyes. "Their aging is slowing down. Emmett and Rosalie are aging a year for a year. Jasper and Ryan are no longer gaining two years per month. Their slowing and I dare say Emm and Rose are close to stopping."

"But, Aaron-"

"No." He closed his eyes, touching his forehead to mine. "No," he whispered despairingly. His expression was one that, unfortunately, I had come to know rather well. It was a look of intense sadness. If he could cry, silent tears would have been sliding down his cheeks.

I stroked his cheek softly. "It's not that bad," I said softly.

His eyes reopened and he moved back to look in my eyes again. "You are the best thing that has happened to me in the last ninety years. I'm not about to let you just slip through my fingers."

"I'm not that interesting."

"Tasha, Maria, the Volturi, and the McCarthy families think otherwise. Not to mention the Cullens, your parents, and your kids."

I sighed, closing my eyes and dropping my hands to rest on his forearms. He seemed to sense what I was thinking, for he dropped his forehead back onto mine-probably closing his eyes again.

"No," he repeated softly. "You are far too important to me. I'm not letting you go without a fight. If I can't find a way to make you live forever, I'll follow you into death."

I frowned at him, even though he couldn't see it. "You would leave our kids alone?"

He sighed, defeated on that point. "No, I wouldn't. But, I refuse to think you only have a few decades of life. You, the all-powerful human four elemental. The one supposed to bring us all together."

"Aaron," I protested softly, squirming slightly in embarrassment. I'm sure my cheeks were red. It always made me feel awkward when they talked about me as if I was a god. At first my "siblings" teased me about it, but they stopped when they figured out it _truly_ made me uncomfortable and awkward. It was like the "mistress" thing. I only allowed people to call me that when I was pulling rank on them. So, I knew he was pretty upset by the idea if he was bringing up my power.

He gave a soft scoff. It still amused him that I got embarrassed over my power, but he was far too upset to laugh.

He shifted his hold on me. He leaned onto his elbows, bringing his arms to gently rest alongside mine, and his hands gently gripped my shoulders. I moved my hands to rest gently on his biceps. His head tilted down ever so slightly, but both our eyes remained shut.

If I had stopped to think about it and if Aaron hadn't been so distressed, it would have been quite intimate.

"No," he repeated softly, but firmly. "I refuse to believe it. I _refuse._ You…you are _ours.__"_

His body shook slightly and my eyes softened. Aaron was still the toughest man I had ever known and it still upset-and depending on the situation, scared- me when he was jostled.

I moved my right hand to rub the back his neck. "Shh. It's okay. I'm still here. We still have time. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. It's okay. I'm okay. _We__'__re_ okay."

He dipped his head to my shoulder so that his left cheek was resting against my right.

I raked my hand over the back of his head soothingly while my left hand rested on his shoulder. Slowly, he started to relax, the tension going out of his muscles. His right hand moved and he gently pulled my shirt off to expose my left shoulder.

I shivered at the morning cold. I felt Aaron smile against my shoulder as he nuzzled the ticklish crook of my neck. I giggled, smiling at the familiarity of the routine. It was an off day-or morning I suppose- when he didn't nuzzle my neck to make me giggle.

My hands moved to around his waist as he moved closer, his lips on my shoulder. We rested there for a moment before I felt him open his mouth. Gently but firmly, he bit down into my shoulder, breaking through the skin but keeping the venom at bay in his mouth. He was making the vampire version of a hickey. It was a bite that signaled to others that I had been claimed. Luckily the marks healed or faded in a few days. Otherwise, we'd be in serious trouble.

As his teeth inserted into my skin, a surge of power coursed through my body. Which was quite something since I had so much already. My eyes closed in bliss. Not like erotic or sexual or anything like that, just pure perfection.

Imagine the most relaxing thing you've ever experience, an then triple it and you might come close. He usually made the mark when either he was really upset, or I was freaking out and needed to relax or calm down. If I was too stressed, he would make it, but depending on the stress level, he would keep his teeth in longer and he would go deeper. It sounded controlling, but it felt wonderful so I didn't complain.

He withdrew his teeth and quickly sucked on the mark just in case any venom got through. I let out a slightly shaky breath as he withdrew. I sensed more than saw his smile. He then took my left arm and repeated the process, making the mark just above and to the side of the crook of my elbow.

He moved back to the first mark on my shoulder and simply rested his lips there. We lay there for several moments just enjoying each other's presence with Aaron occasionally nuzzling my ticklish neck. After a couple more minutes, I felt him smirk against my shoulder. He was back to normal…meaning he was up to something. He opened his mind to me, letting his love and affection flow through, while he kissed a line from the mark on my shoulder to the one on my elbow. He would stop at each mark and then suck gently.

It didn't take long til I was blushing from embarrassment under the attention-which was what his goal was.

He wasn't even bothering on trying to hide his grin as he continued his ministrations. I squirmed, trying to dislodge him but he held me fast. His amusement was starting to trickle through to me, which only made me more embarrassed. I moved my hands to his chest and started to push but he wrapped his arms around my back and intertwined his legs with mine.

I groaned as I flushed. I could feel the searing heat on my skin and it only provided more incentive for Aaron. There were times I really _hated_ having him know me so well.

Now was one of those times.

"Aaron," I groaned as I tried to untangle myself –from both the sheets of the bed and his little self-made prison.

"Hmm?" He murmured against my shoulder, a wide grin on his face. His skin felt like ice against my flushed face.

I tried to think of a way to escape him without throwing him across the room. That would surely wake the kids up.

I groaned again and squirmed in his grasp; he grinned wickedly.

Suddenly, an old conversation flashed through my mind and I grinned. Aaron felt the change in my expression as his smile faded and he turned his head to regard me.

Within the prison of his legs, I moved my own so that my legs were also keeping him in place. I scrunched my upper body and he moved with me, putting his body into the perfect position to strike at. Without giving him time to react, I reached my hands down and scratched my nails along the back of his knees.

His eyes widened and he quickly moved his hands from behind my back to try to stop mine. But I strengthened mine so he was only pulling uselessly as snickers started to escape him. He tried to close he legs so that the back of his knees was inaccessible but I simply stretched my legs and forced them open. He started laughing as he struggled to sit up on his legs and tried again to uselessly pull on my arms. Using my leverage, I flipped him so he was on bottom and I was straddling his waist, but I kept up the tickling.

"Stop!" he gasped laughing and I grinned. The tables were so rarely turned it was great to be the one in control.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Stop! Stop! Stop!" he laughed, still pulling uselessly on my arms. But I knew if I continued much longer that he'd pay me back in full later so I stopped.

I mimicked his position from earlier, with my hands on either side of his head, while he caught his breath.

He looked up at me smiling, while I grinned downed at him with my hair falling down on either side of my face.

He tugged on my hair gently. "You should take these off."

I frowned, confused. "Take what off?"

He rolled his eyes then reached up to unclip the extensions from my hair and threw them into a corner of the room.

"Oh. Those. I've had them on for so long I forget that it's not my real hair."

He laughed. "Looks like you need a bit of a haircut."

I shrugged. "Eh. It can wait. For a bit. The extensions will go back on once I leave here."

He completely ignored me. "I'll give you a haircut in a few days."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Mr. Hairdresser."

He narrowed his eyes and poked me in the bellybutton, causing me to lightly squeal.

He just grinned at me.

I opened my mouth to say something when I felt movement within the house. I frowned and glanced up at the clock. Six thirty am.

I looked back down at Aaron. "Do the kids always get up this early?"

He turned his head to look up at the time. "Yeah. They get up between six and seven in the morning, generally. They don't need as much sleep as a human."

"Oh," I murmured, getting off Aaron and moving to sit on the side of the bed. I got a brush out and combed through my hair.

Aaron was silent for a moment, though I could feel his eyes staring a hole into the back of my head, before he sighed.

The bed shifted behind me and then his arms were around me and his head was on my shoulder.

"It's not your fault that you didn't know."

I didn't answer. Instead, I continued staring blankly at the floor at my feet.

He sighed again. "Stop this. You keep them alive. You can't be here for every moment because you're out on every other side of the world keeping them safe. They don't resent you for it, they love you for it."

I was the one that sighed this time. "It doesn't matter. They don't need to. I hate me enough for all of us."

I shrugged off his embrace and walked over to my closet. But he was next to me in the next second, pushing my shoulders against the wall, his expression fierce.

"Stop." He commanded intently. "You are a great person and a fabulous mother. Hate anyone you want. Hate Tasha for making you run across the globe. Hate Maria for taking away your security. Hate the elements for choosing you to be in this position. Hate me for putting the venom in your womb that gave you the ability to give birth to hybrids. Hate the Cullens for taking away your control. Hate the McCarthy's for making you leader. Hate whoever the hell you want. Just don't hate yourself."

My eyes flickered away from his, torn between wanting to hope but not able to agree.

He gave a little huff and a few seconds later the door to our bedroom opened. My four kids walked in and made a line behind their father. Their eyes were sad but determined. My eyes scanned them but I could not hold their eyes for long.

Aaron stepped away from me and I wrapped my arms around my middle. I wanted nothing more than to go hide in a hole-away from their prying eyes.

Emmett spoke up and my eyes flickered to him. "You may not have been here for every moment and although we have yet to spend a holiday with you, you are the best mother we could ask for. Your example gives us something to strive for. Someone to look up to. Most wouldn't fight even half as hard as you do. Your heart breaks every moment of every day but you continue to push on. It doesn't matter if you don't live with us. You are our mother. You always will be. We love you with all our being. It doesn't matter how old I am-in mentality or in years. I will _always_ be a momma's boy. And I will never be ashamed to admit it. Ever."

I small smiled flitted across my face despite myself.

Rosalie was next. "You taught me how to control my powers and when to use it. You taught me that just because I have an amazing power, it doesn't mean that I should flaunt it and take advantage of other people. If it wasn't for you, I would be stuck loving someone who hunted humans and had no interest changing his ways. He wouldn't have a respect for human life and I probably would see them as lesser creatures as well. You taught me that just because you're a woman, doesn't mean that you can't lead. Sometimes it's the woman that handles the situation better than the man. You taught us that using your head is often more than half the battle. That sometimes you have to choose between the two lesser evils. Half of the things you have taught me, you have taught by example. You taught me by what you do in the outside world. When you _aren__'__t_ with us but elsewhere protecting us. It doesn't matter how old we get, when we're in trouble in any kind of definition of the word, we will look to you for guidance."

Jasper was next. "I learned how to love someone that I didn't meet or remember meeting. I learned how to forgive myself and take charge of my own actions. That I was in charge of my own destiny, no one else. That sometimes even the best of intentions can lead to horrible consequences. That one is never done learning, never done getting better. There is always room for improvement. Sometimes blessings are wrapped in evil packages and sometimes evil is wrapped in shiny packages. We can't always go on what others say. We have to learn to think and act for ourselves. You have been hit down so many times but no matter how hurt or how tired you are, you always pick yourself back up. Because you are strong. And nothing will stand in your way to protect the ones you love. Even if it means your own life. You have your head on right and your priorities set straight. You will go through hell and high water to ensure the safety of the ones you love. You know how to make a hard decision, even if you are hated for it later. You aren't so set in your ways that you're unwilling to reconsider your thinking. You have showed us how to find light in the darkness and for that, we will be forever grateful."

Ryan stepped forward slightly. "I won't lie to you. I don't really know you all that well. I've heard all the stories from everyone of course, but I didn't actually know you. And stories tend to exaggerate to make them more interesting. But I knew within minutes of meeting you that they stories were exaggerated. You were truly a one of a kind woman. A one of a kind mother. You prevailed where greater men and woman have failed. And even when you did fall, you stood right back up and stood your ground and refused to back down in the face of danger. You accept that you powerful than almost everyone but you don't flaunt it and you don't over use it. You haven't let it make you conceited. You will do anything to protect your family and anyone who meets you can see that. I may be adopted, but you are the only mother for me. And I wouldn't ask to have anyone else."

Aaron stepped forward again, demanding my attention. "You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer then you and dead a lot longer then that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I follow my blood, which doesn't always rush in the direction of my brain, so I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong calls. A hundred years and there's only one thing I've even been sure of. You. When I say I love you it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. I love what you are, what you do. How you try. I've seen you kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly who you are. You're a hell of a woman. And we are not letting you go without a fight. Whether the threat be from Tasha or from yourself. You are _ours_. "

I stared at them all for a moment before I recognized wetness on my cheeks. I wiped at my tears, embarrassed. "You made me cry," I accused softly.

They all smiled and then I was crushed into a hug that I wouldn't have been able to escape even with my powers.

After a few minutes, the kids left and I quickly changed, discarding my silk pajamas for fashionably faded blue jeans and a dark blue long sleeve shirt.

Aaron came up behind me while I was looking in the mirror and wrapped his arms around me again.

"See?" He said. "I'm not that biased. They think so too. And that's what really matters right?"

I smiled and reached into my pocket, taking out a silver necklace with the McCarthy crest and slipped the cover from my finger, which covered my ring.

"Yes," I smiled at my reflection. "This time, I do see."

Aaron smiled. "Good. Come on. It's time for breakfast."

As we headed down the stairs, I only wished that it could be this easy all the time.

* * *

**A/N:** See? I told you it'd be up soon :) Thanks to the couple of people that bothered to review the last chapter! Hopefully this one is more interesting so more of you will review!


	9. Surprises

**Recap**: Bella wakes up earlier than normal to find Aaron researching how to make her immortal. She brings up the idea that maybe she's not supposed to live forever and Aaron gets upset. Bella then finds out that her kids don't need as much sleep as they used to or a normal human and she gets upset that she didn't know that. Her kids come in and help her feel better about being a mom. It's mid-February.

I settled into my "new" life easily in the next few days. Being here with my family in Ireland, it was hard to understand that life was not so easy in the U.S. That even as we spoke, the wolves were hunting Victoria as she tried to get into Forks. Get to me. Cause I was certain that she had not realized that I had left. But there was something about Victoria that had me on edge. I had a feeling that I missing something. Something very, very vital. And for the life of me I could not figure out what it was.

And there was also another force that was pulling me back. Not back to Forks, but back to La Push. I couldn't understand it. My connection there had been severed when Jacob started phasing. The only thing left in La Push was Emily, the vampire host. But you had to get fairly close in order to transfer your body into a human host and with that many wolves surrounding her, no vampire was stupid enough to try. So why was a being compelled to go back? Especially since I had only been gone a day. It didn't make any sense.

"Mom," jasper sighed, pulling me out of my musings. "You're giving me a headache."

"Sorry." I murmured, reigning my emotions in.

Jasper and I were the only ones in the house currently. Emmett and Liz were off on a date somewhere, Rose was in the forest talking to her precious _Demi_, and Ryan and Aaron were off in several towns over to get more food.

He sighed. "What's bugging you?"

"Several things." I murmured, flipping another page in the book I was reading on the couch.

I felt Jasper's exasperation as he came over to me. I was leaning against the arm of the couch, so he came over and started to massage my shoulders.

"Care to share?"

"It's not that big of a deal," I told him, not wanting to put my burdens onto his young shoulders.

He scoffed and leaned on my shoulders, putting his head next to mine and clasping his hands in front of me. "It's enough of a deal that it causes you to lose concentration and giving me a headache. Spill."

I sighed, closing the book, and pulling Jasper next to me on the couch.

"Well, there are several things really. The first is Victoria."

"She's what's-his-name's third mate or something right?"

I grinned at the statement. "Yes, she's James' third mate. If she wasn't so horrible, I might feel bad for her in thinking that she was his 'one and only'. But she is horrible so I only feel hate towards her."

"So what's so worrying about that?"

"Well…that the problem. There is something about her that makes me think that I'm missing something. Missing something big and it's going to become a problem later on."

"You said something about having an instinct for avoiding danger?"

"Mmhmm. Which wouldn't be all that bad if it wasn't causing the boys in La Push to change. No, it's something much bigger than that and I can't figure out what I'm missing or overlooking."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. You always do. What else is bothering you?"

I sighed, tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling. "There's something pulling me back."

"Probably grandpa and Angela. You don't like being away since Victoria is around."

"No. I almost wish it were that. No, I'm being pulled to La Push. But my ties with Jacob and Billy Black have been severed for the time being and they're the only ones in La Push that I really knew…so the only thing left there that could pull me back would be Emily."

"Emily? Who's Emily?"

"Emily is the alpha's imprint but who is also a human host for vampires."

Jasper swore. "Good grief. It's like a supernatural community over there."

I smirked. "You have _no_ idea. But the pull confuses me as well. Because it's a very dangerous thing to try to get to an Alpha's mate. Even if the mate _is_ a host. But this pack is bigger than most and the community is very tight nit. There are five wolves and they are very protective of her. Especially with Victoria on the loose. It would be suicide to try to get to her right now. Any vampire knows this. So why I'm feeling the pull to go back there and after being gone only a week is worrisome."

Jasper frowned, deep in thought.

After a few minutes, he spoke. "Maybe its Tasha."

I glanced at him sharply. "What?"

"Maybe this Emily has a bigger connection to the war and final battle than we know about. Maybe Tasha has decided that instead of trying to convince Emily to join her, she's just going to take her out."

I frowned. "I would have sensed Tasha around. Even when trying to blend in. I know Tasha's signature."

"I have no doubt you do. But as proved by Mike-you should have Rose try to heal more of your face and chest, by the way-she doesn't always attack herself. She could have sent one of her lackies to dispose of Emily. You said yourself that you were pretty sure that Tasha knew where you were. Maybe she was waiting for you to leave so that she could dispose of the host. She could move in and you would never know any different."

I frowned. There were a lot of 'maybes' but Jasper's logic was airtight. It made me nervous.

I stood up. "I'm gonna call the wolf leaders. Come with. I have to make the call in town and I'm not leaving you alone. We'll stop by and let Emmett and Rose know on the way out."

He nodded and after telling the others where we were going, we were headed into town. We didn't go to the next town but instead chose one nearly ten towns over. We couldn't risk making the call too close to home. I found Jasper was actually quite fast. He could keep up with a normal werewolf-meaning someone other than Ryan-and he was most definitely faster than his biological father. Once within city limits, we quickly found a payphone.

Jay, Julia, Anya and the new fourth wolf-Blake, lived in Canada. Out of sight from the world but close enough that they could keep an eye on…well, me and try to track Tasha. Jay and Julia were married and were the wolves with Indian decent. For whatever reason Anya and Blake didn't have any-or if they did it was a very little amount- Indian decent and their skin color was actually white. They were all watching Blake like a hawk. They didn't want a repeat of what happened with Mike.

Neither did I.

I quickly dialed their number.

"Hello?"

"Jay."

"Hold on, let me secure the line."

I waited, scanning the surrounding area and towns for anyone listening.

"Okay, I secured it on both sides. What's wrong?"

"I told you that I had another son right?"

"Yes, baby Jasper. Is something wrong with him?"

"Not exactly. But baby Jasper is now fourteen. No joke. And Aaron adopted another boy who is a triple hybrid and he has the same advanced growth rate. But that's not the problem. The problem is that Jasper thinks that Tasha has been waiting for me to leave so that she can take out the human host in La Push. Who, by the way, is the alpha's imprint. I thought it was crazy because there are five wolves there but Tasha _is_ crazy and she could totally pull it off without a hitch. Especially since she's kinda known where I'm at for a while now and this could be the reason that she's been waiting and not attacking and-"

"Bella! Bella! Bella! Stop. Slow down. One thing at a time. First off, what the heck is a triple hybrid?"

I took a breath, trying to calm my nerves. I was surprised when it worked. And then I remembered I had Jasper with me. I shot him a grateful smile.

"My son is part human, part vampire, _and_ part werewolf."

Silence.

Then, "How the crap does _that_ work? How the crap did it _happen_?"

I gave a soft laugh. "We don't know. To either question. Aaron found him wandering the woods on his own about a month after Jasper was born."

"Jeez. Okay, next question. Human host? What human host? What the heck _is_ a human host?"

I winced, as I realized just how much he was _not_ going to like this.

"A host is someone whose body is compatible to hold another being's body and mind inside them. A human host is a human whose body is made to hold a mythical creature inside them as a permanent resident until they are forced out or the body dies. It's usually a vampire who takes advantage of these human hosts. And the human host that lives in La Push is the alpha's imprint."

I listened warily as the breathing on the phone started to sound more animalistic.

"Drop the phone before you phase," I warned.

Seconds later, I heard the unmistakable sound of clothes ripping and a feral growl as Jay roared in fury. I cringed back from the fury even though he was all the way in Canada. I almost hung up just so I didn't have to deal with his anger afterwards. If he'd gotten so angry that he phased through his clothes-when he usually just absorbed them or something like that- I didn't really want to deal with him when he regained control of himself.

Jasper obviously sensed my unease cause he over-casually took a hold of the hand that wasn't clutching the phone and sent peaceful vibes to me.

Soon enough-and yet, too soon- Jay was back on the phone.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT THIS!" he screeched at me and I winced at the volume.

"Jay-" I started but he cut me off.

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS? HOW MUCH THIS CHANGES THINGS?"

"J_ay_-" I tried again.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, WOULD KEEP THIS FROM US! HOW DARE-"

"_**JAY**_!"

Jasper jumped slightly at my sudden outburst and Jay instantly fell silent. I never outright screamed at someone I was friends with.

Not ever.

Or at least very, _very_ rarely. And when I did, the person on the receiving end knew they were in trouble.

Cause it meant I was pissed.

I lowered my voice into an intense whisper. Which was almost more dangerous than my outright yelling.

"If you could shut the hell up for just a moment, you might actually be able to learn something," I hissed at him. Jasper was smart enough not to try to calm me down. "First off, this doesn't change our mission _at__all_. Nor does it change yours. It's not exactly something you can put in a search engine. You have to intimately know the person to see the signs or at least be an acquaintance of theirs. There are far too many people in the world to go looking for the very few human hosts. Second, I did _not_ purposely keep anything from you. I tell you _everything_ I know and the only things I keep to myself is to either keep my family safe or because I think you already know. You'd do well to remember that."

"You're eyes are orange," Jasper whispered to me. I quickly focused on pulling the fire from my eyes.

"…Sorry," Jay murmured, embarrassed and slightly afraid.

"Now," I started again, my voice going back to normal. "The actual reason I called was because I need to get a message to the La Push wolves to look out for Emily and for them to get a message to me if something _does_ happen. But, I can't exactly sign my name and I can't give our phone number cause it could possibly be tracked. So I wanted to use your names and number because they'll know who you are, I presume anyways, and you can contact me if something happens."

"That's actually a really good idea," he said.

I rolled my eyes, my anger forgiven and forgotten. "Of course it's a good idea. It's mine."

He snorted and I smirked. "Are you saying I'm not capable of coming up with good ideas?"

"Oh no, of course not." He tried to sound innocent but I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Whatever. Just give me the number I can put on the fax."

"Yes, mistress," he quipped.

I glared at the phone. "Consider your self smacked."

He laughed and then rattled off the number. "Stay in touch, Bella."

"When I can, Jay. When I can."

We hung up then and after sending a quick fax to Emily's house, Jasper and I headed back to the house.

Jasper clearly enjoyed the run since he had never encountered someone who could easily keep pace with him without pushing themselves.

"Let's take a detour," I suggested as I veered my course.

He was confused but followed me willingly and without complaint.

"It's a straight path there," I told him as he caught up to me. "Try to keep up." I grinned and then took off.

I felt him jump in surprise but he fell into a full sprint. I, of course, was not going full tilt. If he didn't know that at first he quickly caught on. Each time he would be close to catching up, I would add more speed to my stride and pull ahead of him.

I easily beat him to our destination barley breathing any harder, while he was panting slightly.

"You went way easy on me, huh?" he asked as he caught his breath.

I grinned. "Pretty much. But on the good side, you've been the only one outside the elementals that have got me to go that fast."

He grinned at that. "How'd you find this place?"

We were at a small lake that had a small waterfall going into it. Large rocks lined the lake with a small meadow surrounding the lake and then it turned into a forest.

"Extra senses."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course."

I smiled and made my way over to one of the rocks, patting in the rock in front of me.

He assessed me warily. He had either sensed mentally that I wanted something or he had felt the change in my emotions.

"I'm not going to like this conversation, am I?"

I gave a wry smile. "Probably not." I patted the rock in front of me again, firmer this time, letting him know that it really wasn't an option.

He sighed and sat down, waiting for me to speak.

I tried to think of a way that could ease us in to the conversation, but there just wasn't one.

"Why do you hate Edward?"

His face, which had been calm but slightly apprehensive, immediately turned into a scowl as he turned and glared at the pond.

I felt the waves of anger roll over me and I was immensely glad that in my running around the world, I had been "trained" to be able to shrug off and empath's influences.

"Jasper?" I asked again, after a few minutes of silence.

Instead of answering my question, he asked one of his own.

"How can you even love him?" he hissed, turned back to me with his own emerald eyes blazing.

I frowned. "How can I not? He's my mate, Jazz. At least, I think he is. He very easily could have given into his instincts and drained me dry when he first met me. But he controlled himself and we became friends and then two parts of a whole."

"He _left_ you! In the freaking forest! How is that love?"

My own eyes narrowed. "He left because he thought he was protecting me, Jasper."

"You didn't even want a party!"

I sighed. "Jasper. These are just petty issues. They shouldn't be causing you this much anger. What's _really_ upsetting you?"

His teeth ground together as he stared furiously at the lake. I waited.

"It's all his fault," he whispered, seething.

My eyebrows rose. "What?"

He turned back to me. "It's all his fault. Absolutely everything. In a few years we could have been a family! We could have _finally_ met the aunt and uncle we never thought we'd have. Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie. The match made in heaven and we're lucky enough to have them be part of our family and he ripped. _Them.__AWAY!_ He's not even the leader of his coven! Dr. Dracula is! But he forced them all to leave! Now, we'll never be a family and even more than that, if they _do_ come back, they'll probably _hate_ you. And no matter who it is, family or otherwise, we cannot love someone who hates you. And it's ALL. HIS. _FAULT!__"_

I stared at my son in shock. "Jasper…"

He turned back to the lake. "He's ripped our family apart and I can never forgive him for that."

"Is that why you wear a wig?"

He glanced at me briefly. "I would bleach it if I could. Dad won't let me."

"You don't consider Edward your father."

It wasn't a question but he answered anyways. "No."

I scrutinized my son. "That's not all of it, is it?"

He sighed. "He doesn't deserve you."

I smiled slightly. "And Demetri doesn't deserve Rose and Emmett doesn't deserve Liz…"

He shook his head. "No. It's more than that." He turned back to gaze earnestly at me. "You don't belong with him."

"What?"

"You don't belong with _him.__"_

I took a deep breath to calm down. Anger would get me nowhere. "Alright. Who do I belong with then?"

"Dad."

He met my narrowed gaze strongly. I broke contact first. I took a deep breath.

"Okay. Let's say hypothetically, that it is possible for me to have two mates and I have to choose which one to get involved with. Can you be so one-hundred-percent certain that it's not Edward?"

"Yes."

"You have to keep an open mind to things, Jasper."

"Not on this."

"Yes on this. I've learned many things through my travels and running around the world and the two decades of my short life. If I had to pick the most important thing I've learned, it is to keep an open mind."

"Why?"

"Because often the things we hate at first are the very things we need most."

He was skeptical. "Name one."

I took a deep breath, admitting what I was about to was not something that I wanted to do. Ever.

"When I first got pregnant with Rosalie and Emmett, I didn't want them."

Jasper raised his eyebrows in surprise and slowly sat back down.

"Didn't want anything to do with them. Hated Aaron for everything he was and everything he did. I thought they were an abomination. It wasn't until about three weeks in when I felt them kick that I changed my mind. That the mothering instincts came to life. Everything happens for a reason, Jasper. If I had not moved to Forks, I would not have known Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett were alive. If I had not become friends with the Cullens-and fall in love with Edward-they never would have taken me to the baseball game and James would still be out there looking for me. I wouldn't have been able to get to know your aunt, uncle, and your adoptive grandparents. I would still be worried that Maria's Jasper would fight on her side. If I had not ran around the world, I would never have learned how to deal with and raise an empath. I would not have learned how to act and blend in to escape scrutiny. If Aaron and I had never had unwilling sex, I never would have gotten pregnant. The McCarthy link would never have been part of me and I would not be able to protect my family. If I had not gotten pregnant, the visions may not have unlocked themselves from my "power reserves." If I hadn't gone to Forks, I wouldn't have met back up with Angela. If men hadn't targeted me, I wouldn't have learned that sometimes humans can be more monstrous than vampires. Can you imagine what would have happened if Aaron had ignored the scent of human blood? How many people would have died? How many people would not exist? Aaron would still be wandering aimlessly, the McCarthy family would not be as close as they are now, and the three species would forever be separated.

Now, I don't claim to know everything. I can't imagine why you and Ryan have such an advanced growth rate-" Actually, I had an inkling but I wasn't on planning on giving him ideas. "-And I don't know how a mother could simply leave her child alone in the woods. And I most certainly don't know why, of all the vampires out there, it had to be _a__volturi__guard_ that had to be mated to your sister. But there _is_ a reason to the madness, even though we don't know what the reason is."

Jasper's anger had faded and he was now studying the ground at his feet. I moved to squat down in front of him and his eyes met mine.

"I'm not asking for you to start loving Edward as you do Aaron. I'm not asking for a miracle. You don't even have to call him dad. Just be civil. Start thinking of him as…as I step-dad I suppose. You don't like him that much, but one day he very well may be family. Just keep an open mind and be civil. That's all I ask. Think you can do that?"

He smiled at me.

"Yeah, I can do that."

I stood up, dragging him with me. "Good. Cause like it or not, he _is_ your biological father. And I still love him."

He scowled slightly at that but I didn't comment on it. I put my arm around his shoulders.

"Now come on, we've been gone long enough and been serious enough for one day. I only have a limited time here. Let's enjoy, yes?"

He grinned. "You think I can beat you to the house if I have a ten second head start?"

I laughed, dropping my arm. "I highly doubt. You are welcome to try though."

He grinned and took off towards the house.

I rolled my eyes and started counting. "One Mississippi, Two Mississippi…"

When I hit ten, I took off. I caught up to him but he was much farther than I thought he'd be.

"Well what do you know?" I commented to him as I kept pace with him for a moment. "You may end up being a future challenge yet."

He glared at my teasing but I just grinned and then pushed ahead.

We were almost to the house when he jumped on me, tackling me to the ground.

"Ha!" he cheered, smug.

I rolled my eyes and then quickly switched our positions so I was pinning him.

He was still grinning. "I'd ask how you became such a brat, but I already know the answer."

He cocked his head. "Oh? And How's that?"

I smiled, leaning back on his waist and he propped himself onto his elbows. "Isn't it obvious? Aaron raised you."

I grinned as laughter came from the house and from Jasper.

Aaron was beside us in the next second, mock glaring at me while I smiled innocently up at him.

"Brat." He exchanged a loaded look with Jasper and I became suspicious.

"What are you planning?"

He laughed and picked me up, placing me on my feet. "You'll like it, I promise."

I let him lead me slowly back to the house as Jasper quickly darted inside.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Now, I'm going to cover your eyes and nose. No looking ahead either."

I warily did as I was told. It was uncomfortable to pull back but I trusted Aaron.

We walked into the house.

"I know it's early," he told me, keeping my eyes covered. "But we don't how long you'll be staying. So…"

He uncovered my eyes.

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!"

"Oohh..." I breathed as I took in the sight and smells.

Rose petals covered just about every surface of the house with red and pink ribbons streaming from corner to corner. There were also blue and pink balloons.

In the middle of my house stood Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Ryan with two presents and a box of chocolate. Liz stood several feet behind them but was smiling just as big as they were. Above them was a banner that read, in big blue and pink letters, "happy mother's day, mom!" In smaller letters were the words "and birthday, and Christmas, and thanksgiving, and new years."

Tears misted my eyes. "You guys…" I whispered, too choked up to manage anything but a whisper.

Their smiles widened as they gently put their presents on the floor and made their way over to me one by one.

"Oh, my darling," I breathed to them, still trying to get past the lump of emotions that was stuck in my throat. They moved back and seemed to be waiting for something. It took me a minute to realize they were looking at Aaron.

I turned and looked up at him.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. I watched mesmerized as he opened it.

Inside, rested a gold heart-shaped locket. There was a small heart in the middle surrounded by swirling flowers.

I was incapable of movement so he opened it for me. Inside were several pictures and quotes. Before the pictures was the quote "If a tear fell from my eyes every time I wished you were with me, I would be standing in an ocean." Next was a picture of the two of us, together and happy. Then another quote. "Love was just a word until I met you and then it was given a meaning." After came a picture of Emmett and Liz. Another quote. "Meeting you was fate, becoming you're friend was a choice, but loving you was beyond my control." Next came a picture of Rosalie, Jasper, and Ryan together. Quote "We love you more than words can define, feeling can express and thought can imagine." A picture of all of them and Liz. Quote. "Sometimes we wonder if love is worth fighting for, but then we remember your face and we're ready for war." The final picture was one we had taken a few days ago. The final quote simply read, "Yesterday I sent an angel to go and look after you, but she came back and said an angel cannot look after another angel."

Tears were spilling down my cheeks before I was done looking at it. I gingerly took it into my hands and looked back up at Aaron.

"Thank you," I choked out past my tears. "It's beautiful."

He smiled and took the locket from me, turning me around and fastening it around my neck.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Emmett urged as the kids headed over to the couch. I started to follow but Aaron swept me up into his arms, bridal style.

I squealed and laughed as he carried me over to the couch. He didn't relinquish me though, instead sitting me on his lap like he used to when I was eight.

Rose handed me my first present.

It was a scrapbook that documented each phase of life for each of them. When it was opened, the song "As long as you love me" from backstreet boys started playing. I stopped at one picture. Sixteen-year-old Rosalie was struggling in the hands of sixteen-year-old Emmett and what looked like twelve-year-old Jasper.

"What in the world…?" I muttered through my emotional tears.

Aaron leaned around me to see which one I was looking at and then laughed.

"They had been having on of their contests to see which sibling could come out on top," Aaron explained. "Rosalie was coming out on top with only a day left. Ryan had opted to stay out of this competition. So Jasper and Emmett ganged up on her and won the only way they could."

"A tickle fight."

"Exactly. And with Jasper being faster than her-all of us, but that didn't matter here-she couldn't escape."

Rose pouted, crossing her arms. "I so could have won that one too."

Emmett and Jasper poked her on either side and she squeaked.

I laughed and finished looking through my photo album.

"Thank you, you guys. This is so wonderful."

"We know how much you hate missing out on us growing up," Ryan said. "So what you can't be here to experience we'll document for you."

I smiled, darting forward to kiss his head. "Thank you."

He blushed slightly but no one commented.

Jasper handed me the other present and the chocolate

It was a stack of DVDs. But they were home recordings. My eyes misted again.

"You're turning me into a sap," I complained, wiping my eyes.

They laughed.

"I can fix that," Aaron suggested teasingly.

I couldn't move fast enough.

"Don't you d-AARON!" I screeched when he ran his fingers up my side.

He grinned but stopped, rewrapping his arms around my waist and pressed his face against my shoulder.

Ryan and Jasper leaned forward. "Mom's ticklish?"

I felt Aaron grin against my shoulder. I kept my expression more under control. Slightly amused.

"Care to find out how much?" I asked, teasingly.

They exchanged looks and I think they were about to take me up on the offer when Rose and Emmett spoke up.

"Don't do it."

Ryan and Jazz looked over at their older siblings as I pouted.

"Mom'll have the tables turned within seconds." Rose informed them.

"Beside," Emmett added. "Did you not hear her laughing the night she came home? Dad was tickling her so bad her laugh probably could have been heard for miles."

I didn't have to be Jasper to feel Aaron's amusement.

Jazz and Ryan looked at me warily.

I laughed. "I didn't learn my tactics on my own." I informed them.

They laughed and we proceeded to have the best-and only-family celebration of my life.

A couple nights later, as I brushed my hair before bed, Aaron came into the room with another gift.

"Another one?" I asked. "The locket is more than I could ever ask for."

He smiled. "That was from all of us. This one's just from me."

I put my brush down, my curiosity sparked.

He handed it to me, sitting down next to me, his hands flat and stretched on his knees. I had learned over the years that when he did that, it meant he was nervous.

It was a nine-by-eleven something. Felt like a frame. Which probably meant picture.

I gently unwrapped it and my breath caught.

Within the wooden frame was a high-quality picture of Aaron and I dancing. Stars glittered across the background with the words "I thought I knew beauty and grace until I met you."

"Aaron…"

"You like it?"

"Aaron, this is beautiful. You spoil me far too much."

He rolled his eyes. "No, I don't. Your just incredibly shy."

I scoffed and turned to face him. "Uh huh. I don't think the quote quite fits though."

He touched his nose to mine. "I think its perfect."

His nose traced my throat and my breath caught.

All I had to do was lean down a little bit…

No! I loved Edward…didn't I?

He seemed to sense the change for he moved his back up, pulling back slowly. Searching my eyes.

He moved slowly, head tilting slightly and eyes flickering towards mine. Giving me a chance to back out.

My head moved of its own accord and I copied his slowness and mirrored his motions.

My heart pounded in my chest and my breathing sped up, as our faces grew nearer.

Just a little further…

Aaron's lips touched my cheek.

"I'm sorry," I sighed.

If I was going to kiss him I had to be sure that I was over Edward. I wasn't sure that I was. I had to be fair to Aaron.

He shook his head, moving the picture out of my hands to the nightstand.

He then tackled me onto the bed.

He brushed my hair from my face. "I don't want you to kiss me if you're not sure. I can wait."

I sighed and glanced away from his eyes.

"The quote is exactly right, by the way."

I flushed and I didn't need to look at him to see his grin.

"Though I suppose I could make an adjustment."

I glanced back at him warily.

"If you weren't here, I'd be the hottest person on the planet."

I groaned at the hidden compliment and tried to push him off. He rocked slightly but didn't move.

I grabbed the nearest pillow and covered my face.

He laughed. My face felt like it was on fire.

Electricity jolted through me when he wiggled his finger into my bellybutton.

I gasped, quickly discarding my pillow, and made to stop his hands.

Which is exactly what he wanted as he captured my wrists.

But he didn't really do anything. He laid his head against mine as my heart thudded a quick tempo in my chest.

A couple minutes later, he bit down into my shoulder, creating a new "claiming mark."

I breathed out as he grinned, flopping down next to me after he was done.

My muscles were all too relaxed now and I started to drift.

Blankets were pulled over me and placed a light kiss on my forehead.

"Sleep well, Bella. And Happy early Mother's Day."

A/N: So, I'm thinking that I'm going to try to update every Friday/Saturday. I do hope more people review. Or did I lose you again. Thanks to those who continue to review!

Locket:

.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=141391291

Aaron's gift:

.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=141391045


	10. And then it went boom

My eyes blearily blinked open. I was tired. Exhausted, even. My days were spent wrestling and training with my kids while I tried to catch up on everything that was happening.

Jasper was fast. Like, really fast. He could probably beat the La Push wolves or at the very least keep up with them. He asked me just about every few days if he could dye his hair. My answer was still no and he still pouted. He was built almost the same as Edward but I didn't tell him that. He was blonde, lean, and muscular without looking like a body builder. He left that to Emmett. Both Emmett's.

Ryan was his twin from another mother. They had mock fights all the time and banters that cracked me up almost as often.

I was glad to find that Rose and Emmett hadn't changed all that much.

None of them needed too much sleep and that was a little unnerving. But I liked Aaron's theory that it meant that their changing was stopping. If for no other reason than that I liked the prospect of their growth stopping. Though none of them still had any inkling to drink blood. Both Aaron and I were relieved at that. They could still drink blood-if they had to. Like to get venom out or something like that- cause their teeth were sharp enough but it tasted horrid.

I reclosed my eyes and sighed. I didn't like thinking about everything I had missed. It was depressing.

I rolled over, intending to snuggle into Aaron's lap, but my hand only hit empty sheets.

I opened my eyes and sat up, looking around for the vampire that usually refused to leave my side until I woke up.

I frowned. He wasn't even in the room.

A warning bell went off in my head as I got dressed, but I ignored it. I slipped on a casual green sweatshirt-It _was_ still the end of February-and a pair of jeans before quickly heading down stairs.

I froze at the bottom of the stairs as the table came into view.

My family was sitting around the table, talking and playing with a girl that could be no older than four or five. She had heard my small gasp and looked up to stare at me.

She had bright brown eyes and dark brown brunette hair that was pulled into small pigtails on the side of her head.

Aaron and Rose quickly darted to my side and quickly me led out of the room. I strained my head back to look at the little girl. I didn't miss how she watched me until I was out of sight.

My stomach twisted and I frowned. Why was this little stranger-the little girl-putting me so on edge? She wasn't an immortal child. I could see the flush in her cheeks and her skin wasn't as pale. It looked like she was a hybrid. So why was her presence so alarming?

I turned to my daughter and her father as we stopped in the kitchen, out of sight. I crossed my arms and frowned. They had the decency to look sheepish.

Aaron rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry. She comes by every once in a while. We're not completely sure where she comes from but she doesn't seem to have any special powers. Or parents."

I frowned, not liking the mystery that surrounded her. "How did she find you then? What's her name?"

"Well," Rose began. "She just kind of wandered in about a year ago. A couple months before you came here pregnant with Jasper. Her diet and her abilities match our own cause as far as we can tell; she's as much of a hybrid as we are. We don't know how she survives on her own, but she does."

I didn't relax. "Her name?"

"Esme."

I blinked in shock at that. "Esme? Like…"

She nodded. "Like the matriarch of the Cullen coven. Sorry." She apologized when I winced slightly at the mention of the Cullens.

I took a deep breath. "She's harmless?"

"As much as the rest of us are. She doesn't drink blood and as far as we know she doesn't have any special powers."

I sighed. "…. Alright." I allowed reluctantly.

Rose grinned and Aaron relaxed.

"Come on," rose said, excitedly grabbing my hand and pulling me back towards the other room. "She's really nice. Come meet her."

I was still wary of the little girl, but I allowed my daughter to pull me back to the table. It didn't help that the warning bells had not stopped ringing in my head.

And that Aaron hadn't been by my side this morning. Because no matter what my kids said, and no matter what Aaron himself said, I was oblivious to the fact that Aaron didn't trust her as completely as he said he did.

If he did trust her completely, he wouldn't have bothered to move from the bed until I had woken up.

The fact that he had probably come down here right away, spoke louder than anything he said to me would.

"Esme," Rose called her attention away from what looked like a drawing. She looked up. "This is our mom, Bella."

Esme hopped down from her chair and came over to hug my leg. "Momma." She said sweetly, smiling up at me.

I smiled gently at her, squatting down to her level, while internally I frowned.

Aaron noticed my unease. "We're sort of an adopted family of sorts for her. Your probably the only "mother" she's ever known."

My eyes softened and I glanced instinctively to Ryan. Ryan was now as much of my son as the others. Who was to say that this child could not become my daughter as well?

I swung her up onto my hip and she giggled. I held her in my arms in a way that I hadn't been able to with my other kids and she snuggled comfortably in my arms, laying her head on my chest.

I smiled a real smile as the warning bells disappeared.

But I could not hold her long as she was soon wanting down to go "pway with sissy" and "dwa pwetty pictwures." I laughed and set her on the ground. She immediately went to a drawer that I never used and pulled out a stack of papers.

Pictures, I realized as she handed them to me. I frowned as I realized that as inadvertently as it was, my family had been hiding her from me.

I gave Aaron a small glare before turning my attention back to Esme.

"Pictwures, pictuwures!" She said excitedly holding the pages up for my inspections.

I got down on my knees and took them from her hands.

It was obvious that she preferred Jasper over all the others. I was surprised at how often _I_ was in pictures although I had never met her before.

"They're very pretty," I told her earnestly as I handed them back to her.

She laughed and then scrambled back up onto Jasper's lap and continued her previous drawing that she had been working on before I had come downstairs.

'_What's wrong?'_

I had been watching Esme so intently that I jumped slightly at Aaron's voice in my head.

I felt his slight amusement.

'_You don't know where she came from?'_

'_No. But she's not dangerous.'_

'_You don't know that.'_

'_Yes I do.'_

'_Noo...you don't. If you did, you wouldn't have felt the need to come down when she arrived.'_

He didn't have anything to say to that.

After a couple minutes he spoke again.

'_I trust her enough to let her in the house. Besides, she's like four. What could she do?'_

I nearly snorted but managed to keep my derision quiet. Jasper did glance at me though.

'_What?__'_ Aaron demanded.

'_I__'__m __sure __that __the __Volturi __thought __the __same __thing __of __me.__'_

Aaron frowned. _'__It__'__s __not __the __same.__'_

'_I hope your right.'_

His frown deepened but didn't press the point.

A couple minutes later, and I suddenly realized Emmett and Liz were not with us. I scowled. I had been so wrapped up that I didn't realize that my son and future daughter-in-law were missing. Some mother I was.

"Where is Emmett?" I didn't bother to add Liz to the sentence. She was the other half of his whole.

"He's out shopping. He should be back soon."

I exhaled. His absence made me uneasy. It didn't make sense. Unless my senses were picking up on something that I wasn't recognizing.

I cast my senses out and let my eyes whiten.

Nothing seemed out of ordinary but I was still on edge.

I welcomed Jasper's calming wave but it didn't help ease my nerves.

The door swung open suddenly and I turned around out of reflex. Of course i already knew who it was.

"I'M BACK!" Emmett boomed, walking in with a bag of groceries with Liz in tow.

She rolled her eyes and I smiled understandingly.

"Little Esme! You're back! What's up squirt?" he asked, setting the bags down and coming to stand next to me.

Esme, for her part, scampered off of jasper's lap and walked over to Emmett.

She stomped on his toe.

I muffled a laugh as he pretended to hop up and down in pain.

"Oww! Ezzi! What was that for?"

"Ezzi no squut."

"Not even for me?"

She shook her head and put her hands on her hips, backing up slightly. Emmett pouted.

I laughed and the others joined me.

Emmett crossed his arms. "Fine. I see how it is."

That only caused us to laugh harder and Esme giggled.

"Up." She commanded, holding her arms up to him.

"Oh, now you like me?" He said, mock frowning down at her.

"Up." She commanded again.

"Oh no. Not after what you did."

She frowned, dropping her arms. She walked closer to him and stomped on his foot again, his hands in small fists at her side. I could tell she knew he was playing though.

"Up!" She insisted and this time Emmett laughed, bending down and throwing her up in the air.

She squealed and giggled.

I shook my head. "And I here I was thinking Jasper was her favorite."

Liz laughed. "Oh, he is. But Em is a close second. Next to you, of course."

I grinned at her. "They always do this?"

"All the time. It'll turn into a family tag game soon enough."

Her words were punctuated by Emmett shoving her shoulder.

"Tag!" he screeched at her.

She made to tag me but I zipped away from her quickly.

She went after Jasper next but he was too fast.

She went after Ryan next and just barley made contact.

Then _he_ went after Jasper.

I laughed and shook my head.

"Is Jasper always the target?" I asked Aaron as we watched Ryan chase Jasper around the house.

"He's always Ryan's target," Aaron clarified with a laugh. "And Ryan's always Jasper's target."

"So they're basically the new version of Emmett and Rosalie?"

He laughed "Pretty much."

Ryan and Jasper stopped their chase long enough to stick their tongues out at me and then they were off again.

Eventually though, Ryan caught up to Jasper. There was an unspoken rule of no tag backs.

Jasper glanced at me and I grinned mockingly.

He darted at me but I was gone from my original spot before he was halfway over.

He turned and blinked at me. I grinned. He smiled at the challenge and then he was chasing me again.

I laughed in exhilaration. I had never gotten to play any games with my kids and I reveled in the chance I had now.

I allowed him to catch me behind the couch so I could be apart of the game. His expression told me he knew I had allowed him to catch me.

I went after Esme.

She squealed and giggled as I playfully chased her around the couch. After a few circles, she went outside the door.

I quickly caught up to her when she made to go into the forest.

I darted in front of her and grabbed her hands in mine. "Gotcha."

Her expression was not what I expected.

She looked up at me sheepishly and a little guilty. Maybe even slightly scared.

"Oops," she whispered.

My warning bells blared and I scanned the area quickly for the threat. It wasn't Esme. This girl had no elemental powers. That much I could feel.

She glanced back at the house in fear and I followed her gaze.

My eyes locked on the house and a shiver ran up my spine. I couldn't understand why.

Until the next instant, when an explosion rocked the field and the house went up in flames. My hands fell away from Esme's, limp and lifeless. I felt the searing heat of the blast against my skin and tears stung my eyes but I couldn't look away.

Esme clutched my leg. "Mommy!" She screamed, sobbing.

I was aware enough to understand that she had been put up to this. Threatened. It didn't take a genius to figure out by whom. And even with my family-my life, my reason for living-dead, I couldn't blame her. She was only four. Of course, she would be frightened. Tasha still scared me sometimes.

Tears rolled down my eyes as I stared at the burning wood that used to be my house. That used to hold my family.

I dropped to my knees and Esme wrapped her arms around my neck, sobbing.

But I couldn't find the strength to comfort her. I couldn't find the strength to do anything but stare and cry as I looked as the funeral pyre of my family.

Eight years. Eight years I had fought for them all. And in one instant, they were gone.

Eventually, I was able to move my arms enough to wrap them around Esme's frame.

"I'm sorry! Momma, I'm sorry!" She screamed, sobbing, her little arms shaking as she gripped my neck with all her little strength.

I absently combed my hand through her hair, still too much in shock to speak. I was amazed that my arms still worked.

What was left to live for? My reason for existing was gone. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Ryan, Aaron…gone. Gone in a single instant. A single blast.

Another sob from Esme brought me to my senses.

Esme. I would live for Esme. I couldn't protect my family but I would protect her.

I shakily stood up, taking Esme's hand and wiping the tears away from her face.

The attack had not come from inside the house. If it had, i would have been ducking flying wood.

I looked around and had no difficulty finding her. The instigator for the explosion and my grief.

She stood on the other side of the field, a gleeful expression on her face as she watched me crumble.

I let go of Esme's hand and took a defensive stance in front of her.

We stared at each other for a charged minute before flinging ourselves at each other at the same time.

We circled and clashed. Kicking, screaming, punching, and snarling in a wicked dance. But I could no longer enjoy it.

In a move that I couldn't completely track, she suddenly had me on my back, my arms pinned underneath her. But she wasn't looking at me.

With a sickening twist of my stomach, I turned my head to look at the last reason I had to stay in the world. I swore quietly.

Esme was standing shell-shocked as she stared at me.

But of more importance was the vampire that was coming up behind her.

"_Esme_!" I screamed. "**_ESME RUN_**!"

She jumped slightly and then spun around to come face to face with Abigail, my torturer when I was captured.

I snarled. "_LEAVE HER ALONE_!"

They laughed at me and I attempted to throw Tasha off.

It was no use.

Abigail lifted her hand.

In it, was a gun.

"Watch closely, Bella," Tasha sneered in my ear as I struggled.

I froze, wishing more than anything that I had the strength to do anything other than sit there and watch.

"Say goodbye, to your last remaining child," she hissed in my ear.

Abigail pulled the trigger.

Esme jerked as the bullet ripped through her.

She stayed standing for a minute and then fell backwards, sprawling onto the ground.

She did not get up.

I screamed.

* * *

Sorry, if this wasn't very good. And I know that last part was a little dark. I hope it didn't totally suck too much. Let me know.

So I got four reviews for last chapter and I'm super glad that you reviewed. I'm glad someone still reads.

Can we try to get more than four this time? Please? At least so I know I didn't lose everybody?

Thanks in advance!

It's at least four consecutive updates without too far of a space inbetween. I can get more reviews now right?

Right?

... :(


	11. Impossible

My scream echoed through my ears.

For a moment Esme's dead body was all I could see through my grief filled mind. But it was only for a moment.

Then rage took over and raw power flooded through my veins.

Shrieking murderously, I threw Tasha the length of the opening. Easily twice my best distance.

"You good for nothing B****!" I screeched furiously. "My life! My _family_!"

She laughed in the face of my anger. It only fueled my rage.

Shrieking wordlessly, I streaked towards her.

She dodged my attack and slapped me across the face.

I staggered a few steps backwards before I landed a kick square into her chest, sending her flying.

I didn't let her completely rise off the ground before I ran off again and, grabbing her by her hair, flung her in a circle and then let go. She crashed into Abigail and it was like thunder.

I saw red. I flew towards them again but Tasha was smart enough to get out of the way.

I strengthened my punch with the air and then smashed my hand through her face.

It shattered instantly.

I turned and snarled at Tasha.

She laughed. "I bet that's sorta what Esme looked like."

"You know," she continued haughtily. "Deer caught in the headlights, frightened."

I hissed in fury.

Her haughty smile twisted. "You know, it was almost too easy. I just stopped by for a visit to her mother. That's what I told her. Poor creature. I obliterated her mother quite easily. I didn't tell the little one that though. Told her that mommy dearest was on a vacation. But if she wanted to see her again she would have to do _exactly_ as I told her to do. And she did. Infiltrated your home, gained your trust. Well the trust of your family. I didn't anticipate you coming home, which is why I waited so long. But then I thought it over. She was a four year old who had the trust of your family. Of course you would trust her. And you did. And now look where we are."

For a moment I could only stare in shock. Then with a frightening snarl, I charged at her.

She laughed and then dropped into a crouch, answering my snarl with one of her own.

Moving faster than she had ever moved in the ten years I had fought against her, she was behind me and slammed a hard hit into the back of my head. Combined with my forward momentum, I flew quite the distance.

I quickly picked myself off the ground; I spun to confront her again.

Except that she was no longer anywhere in sight.

I hit came from my right and I quickly turned. But she was no gone again by the time I had turned.

I snarled in fury.

Another hit from my right and I twisted but there was no longer anyone there.

I started twisting in circles, trying to find the source of the attack. Trying to find Tasha.

My vision started to blur and then, with another final hard punch from Tasha and her newfound ability to mix with the air, I was flat on my back.

My eyes closed in pain as I hit the ground.

And then suddenly, an overwhelming calmness settled over me, pushing out the instinct to fight and defend.

I opened my eyes, and then I blinked in shock and my breath caught.

For when my eyes reopened, I was not in the same place.

I was not in the grass field in the middle of the forests of Ireland. Esme's dead body did not lay twenty feet from me. Abigail's body did not lay ten feet from me and most importantly, the burning pyre of a house with my family inside did not lay in the middle of the field.

Instead, I lay in my bed under the covers in a fully intact house.

And leaning above me anxiously-thank the lord- with his hands on my shoulders, was my dear Jasper. To the left of him, Aaron wore the same expression.

A burning began in my chest but I ignored it.

This had to be a dream. A wonderfully glorious but horrible dream. An illusion that Tasha had created that she would rip out from under me the moment I let myself believe in it.

Fake Jasper was saying something but I couldn't be bothered enough to pay attention to what he was saying.

The pressure on my shoulders increased as he gripped my shoulders harder and shook them. He was yelling something now but I couldn't pay attention.

The burning in my chest was increasing and blocked everything else out. Except for the illusion. It didn't block that out.

I slammed my eyes shut and focused on the growing pain in my chest. I didn't want to see the fake images of my family. I refused to.

'_MOM BREATHE!'_

My eyes flipped wide in shock at the crystal clear voice in my head.

I gasped in a rugged breath and the pain in my chest eased.

Oh. The pain was from my lungs protesting the lack of air.

I swallowed breaths of glorious air as I stared at the boy that couldn't possibly be my son.

His eyebrows came down. "Mom, what's wrong? What happened?"

"You're not real," I whispered.

"What?"

"You're not real. You're not real. You're not."

"Mom, I'm right here. You can see me. You can feel me."

I shook my head. That didn't work for me. I had been just as sure the other Jasper had been real.

How was to say this wasn't the fake reality?

Jasper looked over to Aaron for help but I didn't watch the exchange. I drank in the sight of them both. Of this was an illusion, which it very well could be; I would enjoy it while it lasted.

I rewound and replayed the memories I had up until that moment, trying to figure out which set of memories was real and which set was fake. I couldn't tell one way or the other.

There were two possibilities in this situation.

Option one. This was an illusion created by Tasha to get me to lower my guard. When in reality, my entire family and little Esme were dead in an exploded house.

Option two. The entire morning, explosion, and the subsequent battle with Tasha was a strangely vivid and realistic nightmare. A nightmare I could not escape without help and had my family worried.

I prayed for the second option to be reality but I could not escape the truth in the fact that the first option had a higher probability of happening than the second.

Jasper let go of my shoulders and moved out of the way for Aaron to move next to me.

"You think we are an illusion?" he asked me, staring intently in my eyes.

"Yes."

"You do not believe that we are with you now? That we are real?"

"No."

'_Even __now?__'_

I hesitated, you couldn't argue with the fact that Tasha couldn't replicate the McCarthy bond.

And yet...hadn't the other Aaron spoken to me through the bond?

He read the doubt in my eyes.

He sighed.

But he had thought of something. I could see that in his eyes.

He put his hands on my arms-pinning me to the bed- and with a swiftness that surprised me; he bit down into my neck.

Now, Aaron had bitten me quite a few times before. He had been giving me claiming marks for years and he had bitten into me to draw out venom or Penni.

But he had never _truly_ bitten me.

Until now.

Which only backed up my theory that this was an illusion. It was just an illusion and it was really Tasha biting me. The pain of the venom would end up dispelling the illusion.

With the bite finished and the poison in my veins, fake Aaron pulled back.

I couldn't fight an illusion, so my only option was to wait for the pain of the venom and then try to fight around that.

I braced myself against the restraints and gritted my teeth, but I couldn't keep in the cry of pain as the venom pushed through into my blood.

My back arched as I tried to concentrate on my breathing to keep my control.

I could build immunity to everything that Tasha, Maria, or anyone else could throw at me or do to me.

Except venom.

I couldn't build immunity to venom no matter how hard I tried. And believed me, I had tried.

It didn't take long for me to break under the pain.

I let out a sound that was something between a scream and a moan and thrashed under the restraining hands that pinned me in place.

The pain only got worse as the supernatural in me identified the venom as a foreign substance.

Usually, when I used my fire bending to boil my blood, I couldn't feel the searing heat of the fire. But I could feel it now. In a way, the three days of burning was worse for me than it would be for any vampire. As the venom coursed through my veins, the fire ability that was sealed in my blood and skin began burning me from the inside to try to disintegrate the venom.

I cried out and screamed, whipping my head back and forth, wishing more than anything that the illusion would just break.

The actual fire suddenly rushed into my veins with a new, sudden swiftness and I screamed, automatically reaching out to the bond Aaron and I shared.

The bond that was shattered. The bond that would create a splitting pain in my head when I would reach for it since there was no longer a connection.

At least, that was what should have happened.

Instead, Aaron's warm and gentle-if somewhat guilty-presence surrounded my mind in a way that assured me he was alive and real.

The bond didn't backlash because there was still a connection.

And now that I thought about it, I wouldn't have been able to stand and watch my house explode if it had been real. The pain of five shattered bonds being ripped from my head would have blocked out everything else.

My mind had created the illusion of talking through the bond because I knew how it would feel and sound.

This wasn't a dream.

This was a wonderfully glorious-if momentarily painful-reality.

So now that I understood that, could he _please_ hurry the hell up and stop the horrid burning?

The moment I finished the thought, his teeth were in my neck again. But this time he was taking the venom out.

I gritted my teeth firmly together, willing myself into silence, as the pain momentarily increased. I brought my hand up and pushed his head further into my neck.

Except I was more of griping his head because I wasn't using all my strength. Just my human borne strength.

I relaxed as the burn faded and then disappeared. Since his teeth were already in my neck, he changed the end into a claiming mark...again.

A couple minutes later, I reopened the eyes I didn't consciously notice I had closed.

I sat up slowly, glancing around the room.

It was a mess. I could only imagine what my too vivid nightmare had caused me to do.

But that occupied only a small part of my mind.

The dominant part was occupied in making sure my family-my life- were really, _truly_ okay.

Aaron was sitting on the side of the bed, watching me closely, both worried and concerned.

Jasper was closely behind him, worriedly but considerably more relaxed as he took in my emotions.

Ryan and Liz were by the door, watching me. As I took in their wary but concerned expressions, I didn't miss that Ryan was in a slightly defensive stance in front of Liz.

Emmett and Rosalie were at the foot of the bed. Emmett was watching me but Rose was looking at Emmett, her hand on his cheek.

I winced as I saw why.

She was nursing a nasty looking bruise on his right cheek. A bruise, no doubt, that I had made while trapped in my nightmare.

He saw my wince and reached out and patted my leg.

"It's okay. Doesn't really hurt anymore."

"Really?" I asked disdainfully, not believing him in the slightest.

But his touch had sparked a need in me.

Reaching out with my wind, I pulled Jasper to me.

He stumbled a little at the suddenness but I was okay with that. For when he landed he head was just below mine. I wrapped my arms around him, crushing his body against mine as I took in the feel of him and his rich scent.

He gave a small chuckle but then wrapped his arms tightly around me, linking his hands against the small of my back.

I stroked his wigged hair as I felt his heart beat steady against my chest.

Too soon I released him, but I immediately pulled Ryan towards me.

I repeated the same thing with Emmett and then with Rose.

I released Rose, and then held my arms out to Liz.

An invitation instead of a demand. She was free to refuse if she chose to do so.

But her eyes lit up and a small happy smile crossed her lips as she ran into my arms.

I gave a small laugh as I stroked her hair. Emmett was beaming from where he had joined her by the door.

"I couldn't forget about you, sweetie. You're as much of family as the rest of them. We're just not bonded yet. Though I have a feeling it won't be that way for long."

Aaron and I exchanged smirks as they both blushed and Emmett suddenly found the carpet very interesting.

I releases Liz with a final kiss on her head and she went back over to Emmett, their hands intertwining automatically.

"So what happened?" Aaron asked after a beat of silence. "It must have been quite the dream to convince you so absolutely that we weren't real."

I shuttered. "Not a dream. A horribly vivid nightmare. I had no idea that I was dreaming. I was wholly and completely sure I was awake."

Aaron frowned. "That's never good. What was it about?"

I shuddered again. "Well...first off, do you know a little girl named Esme?"

"Esme?"

I nodded.

Rose spoke up. "The only Esme we know of is the one with the Cullens. We don't even know any little girls really. I mean, we'll meet a few on the streets every once in a while but..." she shrugged.

"Have any of them ever come over?"

She shook her head. "They don't even really know us."

I relaxed, sighing and leaning back against the headboard.

"So...?" Ryan asked.

I gave a humorless laugh. "Basically what happened-because I don't think I can handle going into detail- is that I 'woke up' and went downstairs to find a little four year old girl at the kitchen table with everyone. Turns out she had been coming here for a while and considered me her mother. But she had actually been forced by Tasha to infiltrate our home. We played tag and she ran outside. I caught her at the edge of the trees when she looked back to the house. In that instant the house blew up-" I stopped and took a shaky breath before continuing. "-Killing all of you instantly. Tasha came out and we fought, after Abigail shot and killed Esme. I was hit in the back of the head, and when I reopened my eyes I was staring into jasper's eyes."

Aaron reached over and enveloped me in his arms. I leaned against his chest willingly, letting out a shaky breath and let a few tears fall from my eyes.

"No wonder you kept throwing everyone back. In your perspective, we were the enemy."

I snorted. "Yeah, some mother I am. So completely out of it that I hurt my own son."

Someone bonked my head.

"Quit that," Emmett scolded. Oh. So it was his fist.

I shook my head, pulling out of Aaron's arms and wiping my tears.

"Could it mean something?" I asked, moving the covers and swinging my legs on the side of the bed. "We've had a lot of thing happen including visions, but I've never experienced something so powerful that it distorted my sense of reality so completely that even the bond couldn't assure me of your realness."

He smirked slightly at my made up word, but then frowned. "It's definitely worth looking into."

"Alright then!" Emmett said enthusiastically, effectively breaking the somber mood. "Let's hit the books!"

We laughed and followed him out, Aaron and I lagging back slightly.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly.

I stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to look at him confused.

"What on earth for?"

"Biting you. Hurting you."

I rolled my eyes, pushing my self up and swinging on the railings, facing downwards. "It wasn't your fault. And besides, the benefits far outweighed the pain."

"Still..."

I shook my head, still swinging. "And they say I'm stubborn," I muttered to myself.

I figured out exactly why I usually kept that to myself and why Aaron had bought me new pajamas (silk shorts and short sleeve with stomach exposed) when he quickly wrapped his arms around me and inserted a finger into my belly button.

I, of course, squeaked and instantly let go of the railing. Aaron caught me and I turned in his arms as he set me down to glare at him.

"You're diabolical," I accused him.

He laughed and tapped my nose. "And you love me for it."

He continued down the stairs while I stayed frozen at the top. I stayed like that for about half a minute.

And then I smiled.

"Yeah," I whispered to myself, knowing he could hear me. "Yeah, I guess I do."

* * *

**A/N**: Did you all understand the meaning of that last line?

And apparently…I just need to come up with some crazy insane plot to get you all to review lol.

But this should clear everything up and make you all happy again :)

And yes…all will be explained in due time….

Thanks to all those who reviewed!


	12. Unwanted Enlightenment

"Can we eat now?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "No, Emmett."

He sighed.

I flipped a page.

"How bout now?"

I gave him an exasperated look. "My answer has not changed in the five seconds since you asked."

He pouted, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"We're not getting anywhere," he complained. "We've been researching for days and have found absolutely nothing!"

I ignored him.

Leslie walked in. "I'm sure that will be a valid excuse for your mom when your dead, Emmett. Sorry," she said, at my glare.

Although that was the reason behind our researching exhibition, I was in no hurry to relive the very realistic nightmare. Not that I could forget it.

It would be forever burned into my memory.

Leslie had stopped by for a visit a few days ago. To both check on me and to see her nieces and nephews.

Ryan had been a nervous wreck. Much like he had been with me, just more obvious. Or maybe that was how he had been with my coming but composed himself when I got there.

We spent most of the last week trying to calm him down. Which, a little selfishly, was fine with me. Not that I enjoyed or found satisfaction in his worrying. It was just that it gave me a chance to be mom and to get my mind off the horrid nightmare.

Every other night, or close to it, I woke up in terror, having a nightmare about the nightmare. It often took several hours for me to be able to get back to sleep.

As a result of the main and reoccurring nightmare, the kids never strayed far from home. Even when they wanted privacy, they only went as far as the edge of the trees.

I felt a little guilty about, but not guilty enough to tell them I was okay. Seconds after they were out of sight, I started panicking. Even though I could still feel them perfectly, I couldn't calm down until I could see them again.

The nightmares and the lack of answers weren't helping.

Aaron and Les were totally convinced there was something going on with the dream.

It was like I had actually experienced an illusion instead of a dream.

Once Leslie had arrived and had discerned that I and the kids were safe, Ryan was hiding in his room, we took off in separate directions and scoured the neighboring towns, up to twenty miles out, from top to bottom looking for any unfamiliar inhuman scent.

We found none and that had calmed me down considerably, but not enough to let them out of my sight. The next night, I had researched all the towns and the forests. Aaron had wanted to help but this was something I had to do on my own.

I was searching for the mysterious little girl that appeared in my dream. I couldn't be positive that she wasn't here unless I saw her absence for myself.

I frowned down at the book I wasn't really reading anymore. I had assured myself that she wasn't here but there was something about her. Something that told me we were missing something. Which was why I hadn't given up on the researching.

Now I wasn't a mean mother. Even though their maturing was very advanced, they all were still kids. Only my desire to protect my family kept me firmly enriched in the books. I told them that they didn't have to help me but they did anyways.

"How bout now?"

I rolled my eyes but shut the book. "Fine. I'm not reading much anyways."

"Woohoo!" Emmett cheered, hopping up.

Leslie spoke up from were she was leaning against the wall. "I brought pizza."

I snorted. "Figures. How many did you buy? Six?"

She grinned. "Seven."

I shook my head as the kids made a beeline for the kitchen.

"It's a good thing we started the _eternal_ line," Aaron said, as we followed more slowly. "Otherwise we'd never be able to feed them all."

I laughed. "Seriously. Did you happen to remember me in your shopping?" I asked Leslie.

She smiled. "Of course. One pizza each and a dessert pizza."

I rolled my eyes. "You spoil them."

She laughed. "Someone has to. Besides, I got you cheese and a small lemon pizza."

"I thought you said you got seven pizzas?"

She shrugged. "Your little one doesn't really count. It's like seven pizzas and a half."

"Thanks."

She smiled and then stopped with Aaron at the entrance to the kitchen.

I looked back questiongly. He shook his head.

I frowned, but reluctantly pulled my senses back from the two of them. They wanted a little privacy and who was I to take that from them?

I slid next to Liz and sat down, grabbing my pizza box.

"Cheese?" she asked skeptically.

I grinned. "Don't knock my pizza."

She shook her head and took another bite of her Hawaiian pizza.

"You're so plain mom," Emmett teased from her other side.

I glanced down at his and snorted. "Says Mr. Complicated. Is there anything you _don't_ have on that pizza?"

The others grinned at his indignant look.

I smiled and took another bite of pizza.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ryan and Jasper glance over to where Aaron and Leslie stood talking. Then they glanced back at me, and exchange a small smile with each other.

I glanced over to the siblings reflexisivley. I frowned.

Their heads were close together and they were both looking at me. Although they both looked away when I caught them looking. It took a lot of willpower to keep from trying to understand what they were saying.

I didn't miss the small smiles my kids kept sending me. I ignored if only for the purpose of quelling my curiosity.

Aaron obviously wanted to keep something from me. It would be rude to try and figure it out what it was.

I was glad when, with a final shake of his head, Aaron moved to join us. Leslie followed a little slower.

"You know," I commented. "If you wanted to keep something from me, it'd probably be easier if you talked through the link."

They both gave me sheepish looks.

I rolled my eyes. "For both of us," I muttered into my pizza.

Aaron shot me a nervous glance; Leslie's gaze was hopeful.

"Did you hear any of that?" he asked nervously.

I shook my head. "I managed not to, but just barely."

His shoulders relax while les frowned.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well," Ryan said, leaning back. "That was good. Thanks aunt les."

She smiled. "Sure thing, shy nephew."

He blushed and we laughed.

After we had scoured the city, it had taken half a dozen tries to get Ryan to meet Leslie. Even then, Leslie was finally the one who pushed herself into his room. I had never seen someone so shy to meet their own aunt. It reminded me of how little kids acted around strangers.

We still had yet to convince him to let the others about him.

"So," Leslie said after the laughter had stopped. "Any luck with the researching?"

I sighed. "No. I keep feeling that I'm missing something. I don't know what though."

Aaron frowned. "Any thing in particular?"

"It's something about the girl. I feel there's something more to her than I'm getting and understanding. Something..." I sighed. "I don't know. Just something."

Aaron stroked my short hair soothingly. "You'll figure it out."

I sighed. "Before or after everything falls apart?"

He kissed the top of my head. "Before. Don't worry. You'll get it."

I let him continue to soothe me but I more or less ignored him.

My family had become almost complacent with my powers, the main siblings especially. They thought because I had all this power, that nothing short of Tasha could harm me. And sometimes they got that way with dealing with Tasha too. In all honesty, it kinda pissed me off.

This was _my_ life and _my_ family they were gambling on.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of thoughts before my anger started to form.

I stood up slowly and then stretched before heading quietly back to the couch, intending on continuing my research.

But Aaron caught my arm outside the kitchen.

I looked at him questioningly.

"Come on," He urged, nodding his head towards the front door. "Let's go for a run."

I hesitated, my eyes flickering back towards the kitchen, unsure.

"Leslie will be here if anything happens and she'll call us right away if she even suspects that something is off."

It was a good plan. But still, I hesitated.

He gave my arm a sharp pull. "Come on. You need to clear your head at the very least. Maybe you can't find the answer cause you have too much running around in circles inside that head of yours."

I waivered.

He smiled playfully. "Besides…when was the last time that you really got to run full tilt for fun?"

I tried to glare at him but the excitement in my eyes and my suddenly pounding heart gave me away.

He laughed. "I thought so. Come on."

He grabbed my hand easily and we flew through the forest.

It didn't take long for my spirit to lift.

Because, as much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I hadn't run, _really_ run, in several years. Our sprinting through the towns didn't count cause we were looking for danger.

Now, we had no destination in mind, just a general action.

I sped ahead of Aaron quickly, enjoying the feel of the ground beneath my feet and the wind through my hair.

"Slow down!" He chided from behind me. He didn't really mean it though. Which was good, cause I had no intention of slowing down.

"Hurry up, slow poke!" I teased.

I giggled at his answering growl.

I slowed down a little as he sped up.

Cause we both knew that if it really came down to it, he didn't have a prayer of catching me.

I squealed as I darted out of reach as he tried to grab me.

"Get back her brat," He tried to sound menacing but he couldn't quite pull it off while he was smiling ear to ear.

"Gotta catch me first," I sing-songed, speeding up again.

I laughed as I flew through the forest, Aaron behind me.

I didn't realize where my feet were taking me until the small lake came into view.

I stopped at the water's edge.

"Ohh," I breathed.

You know those hidden lakes and small places of water that only you only see in movies? The ones were you go "That isn't real" because it was far to pure and beautiful to actually be real?

Yeah, that's where I was.

For a moment I was caught in the magic and beauty of the place.

It was ruined by Aaron pushing me into the pond.

I spluttered indignantly as Aaron cracked up laughing, leaning on his knees for support.

I glared at him as I floated. "You finished?" I asked sourly.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said. "But I couldn't resist. I haven't been able to catch you unaware like that since you were thirteen."

I tried to stay irritated at him, but when he gave me his cheeky grin I couldn't help but smile.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked.

"Hmm…" I muttered, looking away.

"Oh, come on Bella, I was just-ah!"

I grinned as I wrapped and stream of water around his leg and pulled him into the lake with me.

He came back up to the surface slowly, with only his eyes and nose above the water.

I giggled at the predatory look in his eyes.

We stared at each other for a long time. His eyes were playfully irritated, mine were wickedly amused.

He suddenly leapt out of the water and pounced.

Well…he tried to pounce.

I easily moved backwards with the water.

"Cheater," he accused as he broke the surface.

I giggled. "I'm only using what I was given, Aaron."

He scowled and I laughed again.

When I was younger, every time he had won-whether it be a wrestling match or a tickling chase-and I accused him of being unfair he had always quoted me the same thing. It was great to throw it back at him.

He glared at me for a moment before he sighed and put his hands up in surrender.

I grinned. "I win."

He shook his head as we climbed out and I used my power to get the water off of us, leaving us completely dry.

"Savor it while it lasts, cause it won't be long."

I poked his arm. "Sore loser."

He rolled his eyes and then plopped down on his back.

I giggled and then joined him on the ground.

"Was I right?" he asked after a minute.

I rolled my eyes. "Can't you guess?"

"No."

I scoffed. "You just want to hear me say it."

"Yep."

I stayed silent.

I started giggling when I felt his eyes bore into the side of my head. I tried to muffle my giggles and stubbornly stared at the sky.

After a few minutes though, I broke out into giggles.

He growled playfully and pushed at my shoulder.

This only caused me to laugh harder.

"Fine. You want funny? I'll give you-"

He broke off mid-sentence and I rolled over and into a squat as we heard the unmistakable sound of an approach.

I listened for a moment, tilting my head and "clearing" my eyes.

"Werewolf," I decided after a moment.

"Should I become scarce?"

I nodded slowly and then Aaron was gone.

The werewolf would of course already know Aaron had been there, but maybe I could ease things over.

How odd. I didn't think there were any wolves in Ireland.

I quickly checked in with Leslie and made sure everyone was okay and safe before focusing on the approaching werewolf.

A few minutes later, a light brown wolf trotted into view.

I stayed in my squat, on the balls of my feet, just in case this one decided I was a threat.

My cell phone rang but I ignored it.

We regarded each other in silence before he drew up onto his hind legs.

And then, with a swiftness that always surprised me, he was human.

I blinked in surprise. "Blake?"

He nodded.

I smiled, standing up. "What's going on?"

He didn't return the smile but simply continued to stare at me.

My own slowly faded as I regarded him.

My right foot slowly slid back behind me, ready to crouch.

"What are you doing here, Blake?"

A twisted sort of smile appeared on his face and my stomach lurched in response.

"You don't know?" he said, mockingly. "I would have assumed after Mike you would have known."

My breath caught and I stared at him in horror.

"No…" I whispered.

He grinned.

I shook my head. "I don't understand. Blake, what happened? Why are you doing this?"

He shrugged. "I never really like you anyways."

Horror disappeared and anger started to take its place.

"That's it? You're siding with her of all people because you _don__'__t __like __me?_"

He shrugged again. "Not really. I think you and your…_family-_" he twisted the word. "-are abominations and shouldn't exist. I didn't want this. To be a werewolf. I was planning on stop phasing and then low and behold, Jay shows up and tells me that I'm part of the immortal four werewolves. So, naturally when Tasha offered me a way out, I took it. Of course, I had met her before. Back when I was normal. Well, as normal as one of our kind can get. Told me all about you and your sick, twisted world. She told me that I would be next. After Mike. Told me how to separate my mind to have thoughts of my own when I was in wolf form. Don't know how she knew but I didn't care. Told me I could get out of this horrible life, all I had to do was deliver a message."

"What message?"

He smiled a dark smile. "Well, it's actually several messages. The first one, is that she knows how to activate your _visions_ or whatever. She can't control what goes on in them. Like what you see-she was real irritated about that-but she can activate them and hope you get the message. The warning. The taunting. Whatever."

"So…wait. You mean _Tasha_ was the one who made me see that?"

He shook his head. "She can't _make_ you see anything. She doesn't control what you see. So whatever happened in your realistic dream is a true warning. But she did activate it."

"That doesn't make sense."

He shrugged. "Not my problem. Anyways, the second message is to watch your back. Cause you never know who will be next. It may even be a werewolf's imprint."

He grinned as I reeled back.

For her to give me such an exact warning…telling me just who it was she was after…she had to be pretty confident that she would get to Emily and kill her without a hitch.

"Don't worry," he soothingly mocked. "It won't be for a couple years now."

I snarled.

"You can kill me now." He stated, as if he were commenting on the weather.

"What?" I asked, more than a little shocked. He wasn't even fighting!

He sighed. "Look, Bella. I don't mind you. I don't even really like Tasha. But i'm not planning on siding with you in the final battle."

I shook my head. "That's not a reason to kill you, Blake."

He frowned. "You don't want to? Well, it's either me or your kids. They live this way right?"

He turned and made to phase, but I was faster.

I flew a rock at his head and he crumpled to the ground.

I darted over to him, rolled him over, and winced.

His blank, dead eyes stared up at me.

I truly had only meant to knock him out.

I sighed as Aaron rejoined me.

He was seething.

"This is getting out of control," he snarled.

"I know."

I took out my phone. Last call, the one I had ignored, was from Jay. I sighed.

"You go ahead and tell Les to get the kids packing. We're moving. Today."

He nodded and darted ahead while I stayed where I was and called Jay.

"Bella!" he greeted. "Bella, do you happen to know where Blake is? Or where he went? We can't find him anywhere and we were going to come visit you in a couple days."

I sighed and glanced down at the body at my feet.

"He did visit."

"He did? That's great! Is he with you? Can I talk to him? He had all the information for the plane and some financial stuff that's kind of important."

I was silent for too long.

"Bella?" Jay asked, anxious now.

"I don't think you and Blake had the same kind of trips in mind, Jay."

Silence.

Then, "Dang it. Are you okay?"

"yeah. He didn't really fight all that much."

"Is he alive then?"

"No. He threatened to kill my kids and or tell Tasha. I meant to only knock him out…" I trailed off uncertainly, waiting for his anger.

But it never came.

"I'm sorry," he told me earnestly. "I wish I knew why this was happening."

"Its not your fault. I'll transport his body to you."

"Thanks."

"Bye, Jay."

"Bye, Bella."

I sighed and ended the call.

I shook my head as I looked down and Blake.

"Why did you do it?" I whispered. "Why?"

I transported Blake back to the wolves and then took off for home.

* * *

The house was a whirlwind of movement.

A tornado that left order as often as it left disorder.

"I've got the room, Bella!" Aaron called to me as soon as I walked in the door.

In the next instant, Rose was by my side, checking me for injuries.

"I'm fine," I protested. "He didn't even fight me, really."

When she was satisfied, she blurred back up to her room to begin the packing again.

I moved to the family room and began packing our books. Legend books and research books, that is.

Sometimes, it still amazed me just how much we actually had.

I only had a few books left when a certain book caught my eye. I picked it up and examined it.

The book was titled "Truth Behind the Legends."

I vaguely remembered getting it but I don't think I had ever read it.

"Hey! Bella!"

I turned and smiled. "Alex, Hey!"

"So where am I opening a portal to?"

I frowned. I hadn't thought about that.

Rose poked her head in. "I vote Italy."

I gave her a look. "Not in this lifetime."

Her eyes twinkled in mirth and giggled, disappearing from view.

I shook my head.

"How about Japan?" Jasper suggested from upstairs.

"I vote yes!" Rose called from outside. Her sentiment echoed around the house.

"Apparently Japan," I told Alex.

He laughed. "Okay, where in Japn?"

I shrugged. "Pick somewhere."

"North corner of the upper section of Japan is pretty isolated."

I blinked. "What?"

He laughed. "That section that Sapporo is on? The north section there."

"…So basically, north of Sapporo?"

He laughed. "Yes."

"Sounds good."

"Alright then."

I turned back to the book in my hands as he walked away.

I flipped it open to the first page.

Basically, it was just going into detail about things we already knew.

I flipped to the middle of the book.

"Oh, hey. It's my prophecy."

I started reading.

_The human elemental is called such due to the fact that she will never be vampire or anything else. Venom is like poison to her. It is such to others humans too, but more so to the human element. While other human would turn after three days after being bitten, the human elemental would be truly dead. Never moving.  
_~~~_This means that she will die._

I scoffed. No…really? I never would have figured that one out.

_Once the venom enters the female human elements system, it is possible for her to bear more children without the intercourse that was required for the first child. If she gets too close to a supernatural being, she will become pregnant._

_Once the human element marries her mate, the ability to have children without intercourse will disappear and her womb will go back to normal.  
_~~~Watch out for male supernaturals or you are going to have a lot of kids.

I shook my head. Seriously? This was almost pathetic!

_The human elemental will be the link that closes the gap between all mythical creatures. Between the Vampire, the werewolves, and the humans. The human elemental will close the gap between the two leading groups allowing them to work together as comrades and make them one.  
_~~~This doesn't necessarily mean straight through her. It means through her and/or her family. Like children. It could be her child marrying a different species.

Huh. I actually hadn't thought of that one. So maybe it wasn't so dumb after all.

_Her first two children will come from consummation, the third from the gift of having children without consummation, the forth will be found and adopted, and the last two will be the venom exiting her system._

_The human elemental will be the most powerful air elemental because of what she will be required to do. She has to be on fighting level with those who are vampire and have the air power-making them that much faster. She will be able to fly through air and she will be the leader. She will be the face that is respected and feared and she will be listened too. But before that, she will go through many hardships and much loss. Many battles she will fight before she can get to her place."  
_~~~She will have lots of power but it will take a long time for her to be recognized for it. She'll have to go through a lot before she will be a feared and respected figure.

As I read the next section, the book fell from my fingers. I stared blankly at the wall ahead.

It couldn't be. It couldn't...

"Mom!" Jasper was suddenly next to me. "Mom! Mom, what's wrong? Mom!"

I was aware of the rest of them surrounding me, but only just. My mind was still reeling as their voices filtered into my mind.

Aaron. "What happened?"

Jasper. "I don't know. All of the sudden her emotions turned to horror."

Alex. "Do we know what the cause was?"

There was silence and then Aaron's warm presence filled my mind. _'__Bella.__Bella,__what__'__s__wrong.__"_

'_It can't be true.'_

'_What can't? Bella, come back. Tell us what happened."_

I stiffly forced my muscles to move.

I bent down to pick up the dropped book. I quickly flipped to the right page.

"The reason for the ability to have children without mating," I read quietly. "Is so the children will be able to help her in the big battle. She cannot win without them. She will have had six kids in total by the time the final battle comes, but only four will fight alongside her. Two of her children will bring their mates to the battle and in so doing so will greatly raise the death rate of the enemy."

"Bella, we know this. It's your prophecy," Alex told me gently.

I shook my head and explained. "This book explains myths and prophecies. Like how my kids can be the way to join the three species. After the last section, it says-" I stopped as I choked on a sob.

"What does it say, Bella?" Aaron asked.

I took a deep breath. "Note that it says she will have six kids but only four will fight with her. Don't be fooled. Only four will fight with her. But it's a very real possibility that the reason for this is because two of her children were killed. If this were to be the case, she would have a triggered vision of it happening up to two years before the event."

"Bella, I don't understand." Aaron said.

I turned to him. "Don't you see, Aaron? Tasha triggered my dream. My vision. And now that I think about it, everyone seemed older. But there were only five kids. We fail Aaron. Little Esme. She was-will be-my _daughter._ And somehow, someway, Tasha gets to us. Maybe through her. But she kills my sixth child. Not all of us are going to survive!"

Aaron and Alex simultaneously crushed me from both sides.

"We'll figure it out. We won't let it happen." Aaron said firmly in my ear.

"But-"

"No. We'll stop it."

I laid my head against his chest.

"But how can we, when its written in the prophecy?"

"It's just an interpretation, Bella."

I closed my eyes in grief.

Because everything else…

Had been right.

I was going to lose one of my children.

And I couldn't do _anything_.

* * *

**A/N: **So, i apologize for the all the tickling in the previous chapters. Sometimes i get in certain moods...i'm done now though. promise.

Also, sorry if this chapter seems a little sloppy. i couldn't quite write it with the right flow. hopefully, it's not too bad.

And, i've started writing a few chapters in the next book with the wolves and Cullens find out about Bella. I'm excited! :D

Anyways, please review!

Many, _MANY, _ thanks to those who continually review! :D


	13. AN: Please read! Help!

Ok, first off I haven't abandoned you all again!

My computer's just been in repair for the last couple weeks :(

Also, I don't really know where to go from here. All I know is its been a couple months and Bella needs to get back to Forks. Any suggestions?

If I don't think of any ideas within the next week, I'm gonna skip ahead to where she gets back to Forks so the story can move on.

Thanks for sticking with me

-twilightromance4ever


	14. Home

I sighed and rolled over for the thousandth time, lying on my back to stare up at the ceiling.

"Still not asleep?"

I didn't bother turning my head to look at Aaron.

"No."

"How come?"

"Guess."

He sighed.

It was the beginning of May now. We had made our move to Japan several months ago. But instead of going North of Sapporo like we had originally planned, we had set up in Kamakura, about an hour South of Tokyo. It was only temporary though. I knew that once I had left, they would have to move again. The land north of Sapporo was the perfect place to set up a house that needed to be hidden. So we moved to Kamakura so we would still have the option of going north and so we could learn the language a little bit.

But that wasn't why I was depressed.

I was depressed because tomorrow morning I had to go home. Home to Forks.

The days and months had flown by with incredible speed. If I hadn't known better, I would have wondered if Addi had messed with the time continuum. But I knew her. She would never do that to me. To us.

And so I had no choice but to try to accept the fact that it was time to leave my family, my world…again.

Was it any wonder why I was depressed?

On the plus side, I had kept up with my schooling through my special computer access so I was still on track to graduate in a month. I was grateful for that. I could focus on the threats more when school was out of the way. Of course, I might just go to college right after that, but college professors didn't care so much about your absence.

I wasn't aware I was zoning out until a poke to my stomach brought me out of my thoughts.

I jumped and then focused on Aaron, who was now leaning over me. I hadn't realized he had moved.

"What?" I asked.

"Cheer up," he told me. As if it was that simple.

"Easier said than done, *baka."

"Too bad."

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"If you don't cheer up I'll tickle you to death," he warned severely.

I gave him a completely false cheeky grin.

He tried to hold on to his seriousness, but when I smirked at him he lost the battle.

With a snort and then a laugh, he collapsed onto the bed next to me.

I grinned and giggled along with him.

"You're such a brat," he said after we had calmed down.

I giggled. "I know."

He sighed and then pulled me into him, my back to his front.

"It'll be okay, you know," he murmured, running a hand through my hair that was long once again. Of course, it wasn't technically long. We had just reattached the extensions.

I drooped. "Not really."

"I know. But if you focus on the negative, you'll fall into depression again."

I snorted. "And what exactly would you have me focus on?"

"Well, for one, you don't have to repeat another year of High School."

"Hmm."

He laughed. "You get to see Angela again and assure her that the 'crazy people' haven't won."

I laughed. "Yes, that's a good thing."

"And you can think about how your going to tell your werewolf lover boy that you know his secret."

I heard something in his tone and twisted in his arms to look at his face.

"Are you jealous?"

"No."

But he answered too quickly and Jasper confirmed my suspicion through our link.

I grinned and rolled us so that I was on top of him, propped up on my arms so I could look at his face.

"You're jealous," my smile widened.

He didn't answer. Instead, he stubbornly looked past my head to stare at the ceiling.

I laughed. "You're jealous. And not even of one of your own kind!"

He eyes met mine briefly to glare at me before he went back to staring past my head.

"Not only are you jealous, you're jealous of a young, adolescent sixteen-year-old werewolf. A were-wolf that I have absolutely no interest in."

He didn't react to that but his expression was such that I knew if he had been human, he would have been bright red out of embarrassment.

I shook my head and laughed again. "I would have thought, that if you were to be jealous of anyone, it would have been Edward. Not _Jacob._"

He scowled for a moment before he turned his head to look at me.

His eyes were full of tenderness instead of the embarrassment I expected.

He placed a tender hand on my cheek. "Edward gave up his claim to you when he left you. If he comes back, you may belong to him again. But until then, you belong to me."

I was abruptly uncomfortable. I had acknowledged that I loved Aaron more than a brother or a protector. I hadn't yet decided if I was _in__love_ with him.

I changed the subject…sort of.

"So basically you're jealous of a werewolf who isn't even half your age?"

He scowled, growling slightly. I giggled.

He yanked my arms out from under me and I collapsed onto his chest. He rolled us over so he now was on top.

"You…are _such_ a brat."

I grinned. "Yep."

After a couple minutes he rolled off me and I curled into his side. Safe and secure in his arms, I finally succumbed to sleep.

* * *

About fifteen hours later, I walked into the house that I hadn't lived in for about five months.

It was so _odd_ to be in a house that was surrounded by other houses and streets instead of just grass and forests. Even the house in Kamakura had been out of the way but still in the city. Sort of like the Cullen's house in Forks.

I shivered and a blanket was placed on my shoulders. "I suppose it's a bit colder here that it was wherever you were, huh Bells?"

I smiled. "Yeah, dad. Just a bit."

He smiled. "I have to admit. It's good to have you home. I've really missed you."

"I've really missed you too dad. How is everything going here?"

"It's been alright."

"How about the killings? Are they done now?"

He shook his head and I gritted my teeth. Apparently I had underestimated Victoria.

"No, they haven't. They have decreased though."

We were silent while I mulled over this information.

There was a fairly large pack in La Push. Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry and Jacob made five. Assuming Quil had also joined that made six. It had been about seven months since they started hunting Victoria. She had to have some kind of instinct for avoiding danger. There was just no other way for her to escape a pack as big as the one here.

It made sense. Whether James was actively tracking me or not, he wouldn't have just picked some random red head to be his "mate." Especially since knowing how powerful I was after the encounter with his second mate, Veronica. They were the perfect pair. The lethal tracker and the instinctive danger avoider.

I _had_ to find away to get to be friend with Jacob again. And find a way to be "in" with the werewolves. Not to mention Emily.

I leaned on my elbows and rubbed my temples.

"So are you gonna take my memories away again?"

I glanced up in surprise. "What?"

He gestured to his head. "That little thing you put on my head to keep me from spilling the secret."

"Oh, that," I frowned, thinking. "I don't think I will. With Edward and the Cullen's gone, there really isn't a danger having you be in on the secret. You know how to act well enough with the guy's down in La Push that it's okay."

"What are they down there?"

I grinned. "Supernatural. Just…a different kind than the Cullens."

He scrutinized my face. I wondered what he was looking for.

He opened his mouth to say something but then changed his mind. "So how are your kids doing?" he asked instead.

I smiled in a way that only a mother could when thinking about her kids.

"They're great. Growing way too fast, but still good."

"Even little Jasper?"

I hesitated.

"Bella?"

"Well, little Jasper isn't exactly little anymore."

He cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

"Well, him and Ryan seemed to have picked up a super-advanced growth rate. So-"

"Hold on. Who's Ryan? Did you get pregnant and have another kid while you were gone?"

I quickly shook my head. "No. Sorry, I forgot you didn't know. A couple months after I had left Jasper with Aaron, Aaron found a little Indian baby in the woods. He adopted him and he's now as much my son as the others are."

"Ryan, huh? And he's like Aaron and the Cullens?"

"He's like the Cullens and the guys down in La Push mixed."

Dad frowned.

"Don't think about it too much," I told him. "It'll make your head hurt. We don't really understand it either. But anyways. Technically, they're like one but have the physical and mental age of a fourteen year old."

His jaw dropped.

I snorted. "Yeah, I know. Scary as heck but there isn't really anything we can do about it. Rose and Emmett's growth rates are slowing down though so that's a relief. I imagine they'll reach full maturity of age eighteen next year or so."

Dad shook his head again. "And I thought _you_ grew up fast."

I laughed, humorlessly. "Tell me about it."

"So what do you do now?"

"Now? Now, I have to figure out a way to become part of the "in crowd" if you will with the guy's at La Push. I have to figure out a way that I can officially know they're secret."

Dad frowned in confusion. "But you already know it."

"Yes, but I'm pretending to be normal and non-supernaturally. If I was normal, I wouldn't know his secret."

"Your life is way confusing."

I giggled and he rolled his eyes. "Just be safe, Bells."

"Always, daddy. Anyways, I'm going to bed. Long day, long plane ride. Super glad tomorrow is Saturday."

"'Night Bells."

"Night Dad."

* * *

I quickly made my way up the stairs and began to unpack so I could get to bed. As I was finishing, I noticed a package that I had not put in my suitcase. No doubt from Aaron.

My curiosity piqued, I opened it and then slumped to the floor, laughing.

It was a set of fleece pajamas. But it wasn't the normal kind you could get at a store. Well, I suppose you could if Aaron hadn't created these especially for me. Unless you knew what each picture represented, they would appear to be just normal pajamas. But they weren't.

There was a symbol for each of my kids.

A white rose for Rosalie and her blonde hair with a cape like wrap attached to it. Symbolizing Demetri, no doubt.

Then there was a brown-haired cartoon type girl holding a teddy bear symbolizing Emmett and Liz. I was sure that they hadn't seen these pajamas; otherwise Emmett would have thrown a fit.

There was a pair of green sneakers, symbolizing my green-eyed Jasper with his speed.

It was way obvious who the little wolf cub symbolized.

And then there was a bear with a girl sitting on top of it with long brunette hair. Symbolizing Aaron and myself.

It was cute but it was immensely humorous too.

I got up and quickly slipped the pajamas on-sighing in contentment with the warmth they brought- before climbing into bed.

* * *

I didn't sleep for long.

My eye popped open, my inhuman senses registering danger while my human ones tried to catch up.

I stilled, my muscles locking in place while I tried to discern whether I was in danger or reacting unnecessarily.

There was a knock on my window and I sat up, relaxing.

After all, Victoria would _not_ have come knocking on my window. So I could think of one other person who would come here.

A couple seconds later I was proved correct.

"Bella!" a voice hissed. "Ouch! Damn it, open the window! OUCH!"

I waited two seconds, because it was normal and because I was fighting a small smile. It appeared the Jacob Black was going to solve my problem about werewolf involvement on his own. I wondered idly how he got around the alpha order before I got up to open the window.

I shoved the window open, my "normal" mask firmly in place. It felt weird pretending, after being free from the restrictions for about six months. I hoped I was still good at acting.

"What are you doing?" I gasped.

Jacob was clinging precariously to the top of the spruce that grew in the middle of Charlie's little front yard. His weight had bowed the tree toward the house and he now swung – his legs dangling twenty feet above the ground – not a yard away from me. The thin branches at the tip of the tree scraped against the side of the house again with a grating squeal.

"I'm trying to keep" – he huffed, shifting his weight as the treetop bounced him – "my promise!"

I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be dead tired. And if that had been the case, I wouldn't completely be coherent and able to fully process things.

"When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?"

He snorted, unamused, swinging his legs to improve his balance. "Get out of the way," he ordered.

"What?" I asked, playing dumb. In reality, my foot was already scooting backwards. I stilled my movement. I had to work on this 'normal' thing again, apparently.

He swung his legs again, backwards and forward, increasing his momentum. I realized what he was trying to do.

"No, Jake!"

But I ducked to the side, because it was too late. With a grunt, he launched himself toward my open window.

He swung agilely into my room, landing on the balls of his feet with a low thud.

We both looked to the door automatically, holding our breath, waiting to see if the noise had woken Charlie. A short moment of silence passed, and then we heard the muffled sound of Charlie's snore.

A wide grin spread slowly across Jacob's face; he seemed extremely pleased with himself. It wasn't the grin that I knew and loved – it was a new grin, one that was a bitter mockery of his old sincerity, on the new face that belonged to Sam.

My teeth snapped together in anger. I looked to the floor while I pulled the fire back. All the other werewolves I knew weren't bitter harpies. Was there something genetically wrong with the ones in La Push that made them so…so cocky and uptight? Or was it just the council and Sam's influence?

It was a bit much for me.

Even though I knew the reason, I had cried over this boy. His harsh rejection had left more then a few scars alongside the ones that Edward had made. And now he was here in my room, smirking at me as if none of that had passed. Worse than that, even though his arrival had been noisy and awkward, it reminded me of when Edward used to sneak in through my window at night, and the reminder picked viciously at the unhealed wounds.

But if I thought about it, the reminder did not take my thoughts to Edward. Instead, Jacob's arrival served as a reminder of the vampire I had just left. Combined with the fact that I was dead tired…well, it didn't exactly put me in a good mood.

"Get out!" I hissed, putting as much venom into the whisper as would be considered acceptable for someone who was really tired.

He blinked, his face going blank with surprise.

"No," he protested. "I came to apologize."

"I don't accept!" I snapped, crossing my arms.

Suddenly I swayed. Whether Jasper was helping -or intervening. Whichever- or my exhaustion suddenly caught up with me, I didn't know. I struggled to keep my eyes open.

"Bella?" Jacob whispered anxiously. He caught my elbow as I swayed again, and steered me back to the bed. My legs gave out when I reached the edge, and I plopped into a limp heap on the mattress. Well, my sudden exhaustion would help with my acting at least.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jacob asked, worry creasing his forehead.

I looked up wearily. I didn't say anything. Merely raised my eyes. I didn't really have to answer such a stupid question did I?

He dark skin seemed to flush slightly. "Right. Of course not. I-I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Why did you come here, Jake? I don't want apologies from you."

"I know. But I couldn't just leave things like they were those months ago."

I winced at the reminder. "It doesn't even matter."

"Of course it does."

"Fine. I forgive you. Now see ya."

He shook his head quickly. "No, wait. I want to explain –" He broke off suddenly, his mouth open, almost like something had cut off his air. Then he sucked in a deep breath. "But I can't explain," he said, still angry. "I wish I could."

"Why?"

He was quiet for a moment. I twisted my head to the side – too tired to hold it up – to see his expression. It surprised me. His eyes were squinted, his teeth clenched, his forehead wrinkled in effort.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He exhaled heavily, and I realized he'd been holding his breath, too. "I can't do it," he muttered, frustrated.

I bit my cheek so I wouldn't grin. And I was a little flattered. He was trying to break the Alpha's order. For me. Unfortunately for him, Alpha's orders couldn't be so easily broken.

"Do what?"

He ignored my question. "Look, Bella, haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone? Something you had to keep from Charlie? From your mom? Something you won't even talk about with me? Not even now?"

My eyes narrowed. I had actually, quite the number of times actually. Not that I could tell him that.

"Can you understand that I might have the same kind of…situation?" He was struggling again, seeming to fight for the right words. "Sometimes, loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do. Sometimes, it's not your secret to tell."

I knew that. Couldn't exactly tell him that, but I knew that. I kept my face slightly defensive, playing my part.

"I don't know why you came here, Jacob, if you were just going to give me riddles instead of answers."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "This is so frustrating."

We looked at each other for a long moment in the dark room, both our faces hopeless. His was actually hopeless; mine was a mask in place.

"The part that kills me," he said abruptly, "is that you already know. I already told yon everything!"

"What are you talking about?"

He sucked in a startled breath, and then leaned toward me, his face shifting from hopelessness to blazing intensity in a second. He stared fiercely into my eyes, and his voice was fast and eager. He spoke the words right into my face; his breath was as hot as his skin.

My muscles locked in reaction to his proximity. I tried to relax them, it was just Jacob. But it didn't really help.

"I think I see a way to make this work out – because you know this, Bella! I can't tell you, but if you guessed it! That would let me right off the hook!"

"You want me to guess? Guess what?"

"My secret! You can do it – you know the answer!"

I blinked twice, giving the pretense of trying to clear my head. It wasn't hard. I was so tired.

He took in my blank expression, and then his face tensed with effort again. "Hold on, let me see if I give you some help," he said. Whatever he was trying to do, it was so hard he was panting.

"Help?" I asked. My lids wanted to slip closed, but I forced them open.

"Yeah," he said, breathing hard. "Like clues."

He took my face in his enormous, too-warm hands and held it just a few inches from his. He stared into my eyes while he whispered, trying to communicate something besides the words he spoke.

"Remember the first day we met – on the beach in La Push?"

"Of course I do."

"Tell me about it."

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. "You asked about my truck…"

He nodded, urging me on.

"We talked about the Rabbit…"

"Keep going."

"We went for a walk down the beach…" I flushed slightly from embarrassment at the memory of my flirting. I felt a twinge of jealousy down my bond with Aaron. Looks like he was listening in after all.

He was nodding, anxious for more.

"You told me stories…legends."

He closed his eyes briefly. ""Yes." The word was tense, fervent, like he was on the edge of something vital. He spoke slowly, making each word distinct. "Do you remember what I said?"

Gee, how could I forget?

He looked at me with eyes that knew too much. "Think hard."

"Yes, I remember."

He inhaled deeply, struggling. "Do you remember all the stor –" He couldn't finish the question. His mouth popped open like something had stuck in his throat.

"All the stories?" I asked.

He nodded mutely.

Of course I remembered. More than remembered, I knew. I had already known when I had asked them too. I was silent for a moment, pretending to think and then I shook my head.

Jacob groaned and jumped off the bed. He pressed his fists against his forehead and breathed fast and angry. "You know this, you know this," he muttered to himself.

"Jake? Jake, please, I'm exhausted. I'm no good at this right now. Maybe in the morning…"

He took a steadying breath and nodded. "Maybe it will come back to you. I guess I understand why you only remember the one story," he added in a sarcastic, bitter tone. He plunked back onto the mattress beside me. "Do you mind if I ask you a question about that?" he asked, still sarcastic. "I've been dying to know."

"A question about what?" I asked warily.

"About the vampire story I told you."

I stared at him with guarded eyes, unable to answer. He asked his question anyway.

"Did you honestly not know?" he asked me, his voice turning husky. "Was I the one who told you what he was?"

My teeth ground together. My confused-looking eyes shifted into a glare. How dare he ask me that when he wouldn't-couldn't-explain his bizarre reactions. Well, bizarre to a normal human, at least.

"See what I mean about loyalty?" he murmured, even huskier now. "It's the same for me, only worse. You can't imagine how tight I'm bound…"

Oh, I could imagine all right. That's how I had lived my entire life. Only difference was that my silence was voluntary.

He glanced over his shoulder reflexively.

"Look, I've got to leave."

"Why?"

"For one thing, you look like you're going to pass out at any second. You need your sleep – I need you firing on all pistons. You're going to figure this out, you have to."

"And why else?"

He frowned. "I had to sneak out – I'm not supposed to see you. They've got to be wondering where I am." His mouth twisted. "I suppose I should go let them know."

"You don't have to tell them anything," I hissed.

"All the same, I will."

"Why aren't you supposed to see me?" I demanded.

"It's not safe," he mumbled looking down.

His words sent a thrill of fear through me before I mentally slapped myself. He didn't know Victoria was after me. He was worried about himself phasing.

"If I thought it was too… too risky," he whispered, "I wouldn't have come. But Bella," he looked at me again, "I made you a promise. I had no idea it would be so hard to keep, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try."

He saw the fake incomprehension in my face. "After that stupid movie," he reminded me. "I promised you that I wouldn't ever hurt you… So I really blew a couple months ago, didn't I?"

"I know you didn't want to do it, Jake. It's okay."

"Thanks, Bella." He took my hand. "I'm going to do what I can to be here for you, just like I promised." He grinned at me suddenly. The grin was not mine, nor Sam's, but some strange combination of the two. "It would really help if you could figure this out on your own, Bella. Put some honest effort into it."

I bit my lip, fighting the smile. I already knew. "I'll try."

"And I'll try to see you soon." He sighed. "And they'll try to talk me out of that."

"Don't listen to them."

"I'll try." He shook his head, both of us knowing the failure of that conquest. "Come and tell me as soon as you figure it out." Something occurred to him just then, something that made his hands shake. "If you… if you want to."

"Why wouldn't I want to see you?"

His face turned hard and bitter, one hundred percent the face that belonged to Sam. "Oh, I can think of a reason," he said in a harsh tone. I couldn't. "Look, I really have to go. Could you do something for me?"

I just nodded, frightened of the change in him.

"At least call me – if you don't want to see me again. Let me know if it's like that."

"That won't happen –"

He raised one hand, cutting me off. "Just let me know."

He stood and headed for the window.

"Don't be an idiot, Jake," I complained. "You'll break your leg. Use the door. Charlie's not going to catch you."

"I won't get hurt," he muttered, but he turned for the door. He hesitated as he passed me, staring at me with an expression like something was stabbing him. He held one hand out, pleading.

I took his hand, and suddenly he yanked me – too roughly – right off the bed so that I thudded against his chest.

"Just in case," he muttered against my hair, crushing me in a bear hug that about broke my ribs.

"Can't – breathe!" I gasped.

He dropped me at once, keeping one hand at my waist so I didn't fall over. He pushed me, more gently this time, back down on the bed.

"Get some sleep, Bells. You've got to get your head working. I know you can do this. I need you to understand. I won't lose you, Bella. Not for this."

He was to the door in one stride, opening it quietly, and then disappearing through it.

I walked to the window and waited while I watched him disappear into the surrounding trees.

"Thank you, Jacob. You've given me the entrance I needed to make this work. We'll fix this Jacob. And then we'll all be all right. You'll see."

I got back in bed then and fell asleep to the small jealous growls echoing in my head.

* * *

Thanks to Alice Vampire, MickeyMC, and Canis Lupus Lover for the ideas. I made this chapter long to make up for my two week absence. Remember to review and let me know what you think!


	15. Confronting Jacob

The next morning, I woke up with the intention of going to straight to Jake's house. I was in such a hurry to make sure everything was alright down there-Emily being included in the 'everything'-that I pulled on the first clean clothes I could fine. I didn't even bother to make sure they matched.

I was in such a hurry that I nearly ran into my dad in the hallway as I was headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked, as surprised to see me as I was to see him. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah. I have to go see Jacob."

"I thought the thing with Sam-"

I shook my head. "It's a supernatural thing, dad. Don't worry about it."

He frowned and nodded.

I looked at him and noticed he was wearing his police uniform, gun and all.

My stomach dropped. "Where are _you_ going?"

He sighed. "There's been another attack – the wolves again. It was real close to the resort by the hot springs – there's a witness this time. The victim was only a dozen yards from the road when he disappeared. His wife saw a huge gray wolf just a few minutes later, while she was searching for him, and ran for help."

My stomach dropped like I'd hit a corkscrew on a roller coaster. "A wolf attacked him?" My voice came out closer to a snarl than I would have liked. He jumped slightly but continued on.

"There's no sign of him – just a little blood again." Dad's face was pained. "The rangers are going out armed, taking armed volunteers. There're a lot of hunters who are eager to be involved – there's a reward being offered for wolf carcasses. That's going to mean a lot of firepower out there in the forest, and it worries me." He shook his head. "When people get too excited, accidents happen…"

"They're going to shoot the wolves?" My voice was deadly calm. But he knew me well enough to hear the seething anger underneath.

"What else can we do? What's wrong?" he asked, his tense eyes studying my face. I felt faint; I must be whiter than usual. "You aren't turning into a tree-hugger on me, are you?"

My teeth snapped together and I didn't answer.

"Look, honey, don't let this scare you. Just stay in town or on the highway – no stops –okay?"

I raised my eyebrows, giving him a look.

He blushed slightly. "Oh, right well. I've got to go."

"You aren't going out there after the wolves, are you, Dad?"

"I've got to help, Bells. People are disappearing."

My voice shot up again, almost hysterical now. "No! No, don't go. It's too dangerous!"

"I've got to do my job, kid. Don't be such a pessimist – I'll be fine." He turned for the door, and held it open. "You leaving?"

I hesitated, my stomach still spinning in uncomfortable loops. What could I say to stop him? I was too dizzy to think of a solution.

"Bells?"

"Maybe it's too early to go to La Push," I whispered.

"I agree," he said, and he stepped out into the rain, shutting the door behind him.

I slid down to the floor and put my head between my knees, taking deep breaths.

My dad may not have known it, but he wasn't actually hunting werewolves. He was hunting Victoria.

I snarled lightly.

My father and half of the town were hunting what they assumed to be wolves. This had to end. And it had to end soon.

I pushed myself up sharply and quickly hopped into my truck and drove to La Push.

I went faster than usual, faster than I was supposed to. But this time I didn't care.

While I drove, I thought about what I would say to Jacob. My easiest bet was to go along with what half the town thought. That it was the wolves were murdering the town's people. I snorted. As if. I was the only human that any wolf ever targeted. I wouldn't be going to La Push if I hadn't "figure out" his secret, so I had to pretend like I thought Jake was doing the murdering. I shivered. Ugh. I so wasn't looking towards the upcoming conversation.

The house was dark, no lights in the windows, but I didn't care if I woke them. My fist thudded against the front door with angry energy; the sound reverberated through the walls.

"Come in," I heard Billy call after a minute, and a light flicked on.

I twisted the knob; it was unlocked. Billy was leaning around an open doorway just off the little kitchen, a bathrobe around his shoulders. When he saw who it was, his eyes widened briefly, and then his face turned stoic.

"Well, good morning, Bella. What are you doing up so early?"

"Hey, Billy. I need to talk to Jake – where is he?"

"Um… I don't really know," he lied, straight-faced.

"Do you know what Charlie is doing this morning?" I demanded, sick of the stalling.

"Should I?"

"He and half the other men in town are all out in the woods with guns, hunting giant wolves."

Billy's expression flickered, and then went blank.

"So I'd like to talk to Jake about that, if you don't mind," I continued.

Billy pursed his thick lips for a long moment. "I'd bet he's still asleep," he finally said, nodding toward the tiny hallway off the front room. "He's out late a lot these days. Kid needs his rest – probably you shouldn't wake him."

"It's my turn," I muttered under my breath as I stalked to the hallway. Billy sighed.

I didn't bother to knock on Jacob's door; I just walked right in.

Jacob's face was peaceful with deep sleep, all the angry lines smoothed out. There were circles under his eyes that I hadn't noticed before. Despite his ridiculous size, he looked very young now, and very weary. Pity shook me.

I stepped back out, and shut the door quietly behind me.

Billy stared with curious, guarded eyes as I walked slowly back into the front room.

"I think I'll let him get some rest."

Billy nodded, and then we gazed at each other for a minute. "Look," I said, breaking the loud silence. "I'll be down at the beach for a while. When he wakes up, tell him I'm waiting for him, okay?"

"Sure, sure," Billy agreed.

I wondered if he really would. Not that it really mattered. If Jacob didn't come eventually, then I would go and seek him out at the house again. If he wasn't there, I would go to Emily's house.

I drove down to First Beach and parked in the empty dirt lot. It was still dark – the gloomy predawn of a cloudy day – and when I cut the headlights it was hard to see. I didn't let my eyes adjust before I started walking. My other senses easily picked out the path that led through the tall hedge of weeds. It was colder here, with the wind whipping off the black water, and I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my winter jacket. At least the rain had stopped.

I paced down the beach toward the north seawall. I couldn't see St. James or the other islands, just the vague shape of the water's edge. I picked my way across the rocks.

I found what I was looking for before I realized I was looking for it. It materialized out of the gloom when it was just a few feet away: a long bone-white driftwood tree stranded deep on the rocks. The roots twisted up at the seaward end, like a hundred brittle tentacles. I couldn't be sure that it was the same tree where Jacob and I had had our first conversation – a conversation that had begun so many different, tangled threads of my life – but it seemed to be in about the same place I sat down where I'd sat before, and stared out across the invisible sea. The wind blew at my hair.

When I pictured him sleeping so peacefully, I felt an overpowering urge to protect him.

I wondered idly if that was illogical or not. Jacob was a werewolf. Which was perfectly fine. I had even expected it.

What I hadn't expected was the urge to protect him. That wasn't something that could be considered normal. Well, normal for me. Jacob was strong and powerful, granted I was more so but very few people were more powerful than I was. So why did I feel the need to protect him? Could he be more intertwined in my life than I originally imaged he would ever be?

It was the only explanation that I could think of.

"Bella?"

So wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't even hear his approach. I jumped at his voice and turned with my mask in place.

"Jake?"

He stood several paces away, shifting his weight from foot to foot anxiously.

"Billy told me you came by – didn't take you very long, did it? I knew you could figure it out."

"Yeah, I remember the right story now," I said.

It was quiet for a long moment and, though it was still too dark to see well, my skin prickled as if his eyes were searching my face. There must have been enough light for him to read my expression, because when he spoke again, his voice was suddenly acidic.

"You could have just called," he said harshly.

I nodded. "I know."

Jacob started pacing along the rocks. "Why did you come?" he demanded, not halting his angry stride.

"I thought it would be better face-to-face."

He snorted. "Oh, much better."

"Jacob, I have to warn you –"

"About the rangers and the hunters? Don't worry about it. We already know."

"Don't worry about it?" I demanded in disbelief. "Jake, they've got guns! They're setting traps and offering rewards and –"

"We can take care of ourselves," he growled, still pacing. "They're not going to catch anything. They're only making it more difficult – they'll start disappearing soon enough, too."

"Jake!" I hissed. He wasn't exactly handling this very great. Did he _want_ me to think he was a murderer?

"What? It's just a fact."

My voice was pale with revulsion. "How can you…feel that way? You know these people. My dad is out there!" The thought made my stomach twist.

He came to an abrupt stop. "What more can we do?" he retorted.

"Could you…well, try to not be a…werewolf?" I suggested in a whisper. Not that was what the problem, but technically I wasn't supposed to know that.

He threw his hands up in the air. "Like I have a choice about it!" he shouted. "And how would that help anything, if you're worried about people disappearing?"

"I don't understand you."

He glared at me, his eyes narrowing and his mouth twisting into a snarl. "You know what makes me so mad I could just spit?"

My muscles tensed in an automatic reflex for defense. I tried to not let it show. He seemed to be waiting for an answer, so I shook my head.

"You're such a hypocrite, Bella – there you sit, terrified of me! How is that fair?" His hands shook with anger.

"Hypocrite? How does being afraid of a monster make me a hypocrite?"

"Ugh!" he groaned, pressing his trembling fists to his temples and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Would you listen to yourself?"

"What?"

He took two steps toward me, leaning over me and glaring with fury. "Well, I'm so sorry that I can't be the right kind of monster for you, Bella. I guess I'm just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?"

I jumped to my feet and glared back. "No, you're not!" I shouted. "It's not what you are, stupid, it's what you do!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He roared, his entire frame quivering with rage. My foot twitched back. I had to really work at not shifting into a crouch.

"Jacob," I pleaded, making my tone soft and even. "Is it really necessary to kill people, Jacob? Isn't there some other way? I mean, if vampires can find a way to survive without murdering people, couldn't you give it a try, too?"

He straightened up with a jerk, like my words had sent an electric shock through him. His eyebrows shot up and his eyes stared wide.

"Killing people?" he demanded.

"What did you think we were talking about?"

He wasn't trembling anymore. He looked at me with half-hopeful disbelief. "I thought we were talking about your disgust for werewolves."

"No, Jake, no. It's not that you're a…wolf. That's fine," I promised him. "If you could just find a way not to hurt people…that's all that upsets me. These are innocent people, Jake, people like Charlie, and I can't just look the other way while you –"

"Is that all? Really?" he interrupted me, a smile breaking across his face. "You're just scared because I'm a murderer? That's the only reason?"

"Isn't that reason enough?"

He started to laugh.

"Jacob Black, this is so not funny!" I struggled not to let my voice came out in a snarl.

"Sure, sure," he agreed, still chortling.

He took one long stride and caught me in another vice-tight bear hug.

"You really, honestly don't mind that I morph into a giant dog?" he asked, his voice joyful in my ear.

"No," I gasped. "Can't – breathe – Jake!"

He let me go, but took both my hands. "I'm not a killer, Bella."

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," he promised solemnly.

I threw my arms around him. It reminded me of that first day with the motorcycles – he was bigger, though, and I felt even more like a child now.

Like that other time, he stroked my hair.

"Sorry I called you a hypocrite," he apologized.

"Sorry I called you a murderer."

He laughed.

I thought of something then, and pulled away from him so that I could see his face. My eyebrows furrowed in fake anxiety. "What about Sam? And the others?"

He shook his head, smiling like a huge burden had been removed from his shoulders. I suppose it had. Lucky him.

"Of course not. Don't you remember what we call ourselves?"

The memory was clear – I'd just been thinking of that very day. "Protectors?"

"Exactly."

"But I don't understand. What's happening in the woods? The missing hikers, the blood?"

His face was serious, worried at once. "We're trying to do our job, Bella. We're trying to protect them, but we're always just a little too late."

"Protect them from what? Is there really a bear out there, too?"

"Bella, honey, we only protect people from one thing – our one enemy. It's the reason we exist – because they do."

Then the blood drained from my face and a thin, wordless cry of horror broke through my lips. My mind reeled. They? _THEY? _Wasn't Victoria enough?

He nodded. "I thought you, of all people, would realize what was really going on."

"Laurent," I whispered. "He's still here."

Jacob blinked twice, and cocked his head to one side. "Who's Laurent?"

I tried to sort out the chaos in my head so that I could answer. "You know – you saw him in the meadow. You were there…" The words came out in a wondering tone.

"You were there, and you kept him from killing me…"

"Oh, the black-haired leech?" He grinned, a tight, fierce grin. "Was that his name?"

This was the hard part of all the pretense. Giving the right normal human reactions to all this crazy supernatural stuff. It was difficult. I pretended to shudder. "What were you thinking?" I whispered. "He could have killed you! Jake, you don't realize how dangerous –"

Another laugh interrupted me "Bella, one lone vampire isn't much of a problem for a pack as big as ours. It was so easy, it was hardly even fun!"

"What was so easy?"

"Killing the bloodsucker who was going to kill you. Now, I don't count that towards the whole murder thing," he added quickly. "Vampires don't count as people."

I could only mouth the words. "You… killed… Laurent?"

He nodded. "Well, it was a group effort," he qualified.

"Laurent is dead?" I whispered.

His expression changed. "You're not upset about that, are you?

He was going to kill you – he was going for the kill, Bella, we were sure of that before we attacked. You know that, right?"

"I know that. No, I'm not upset – I'm…" I stumbled back a step until I felt the driftwood against my calves, and then sank down onto it. "Laurent is dead. He's not coming back for me."

"You're not mad? He wasn't one of your friends or anything, was he?"

"My friend?" I stared up at him, confused. "No, Jake. I'm so…so relieved. That's part of why I left. I was trying to lure him away. Away from Forks, away from my dad. I've been so frightened, Jacob…But how? He was a vampire! How did you kill him? He was so strong, so hard, like marble…"

He sat down next to me and put one big arm around me comfortingly. "It's what we're made for, Bells. We're strong, too. I wish you would have told me that you were so afraid. You didn't need to be."

"You weren't around," I mumbled, lost in thought.

"Oh, right."

"Wait, Jake – I thought you knew, though. Last night, you said it wasn't safe for you to be in my room. I thought you knew that a vampire might be coming. Isn't that what you were talking about?"

He looked confused for a minute, and then he ducked his head. "No, that's not what I meant."

"Then why didn't you think it was safe for you there?"

He looked at me with guilt-ridden eyes. "I didn't say it wasn't safe for me. I was thinking of you."

"What do you mean?"

He looked down and kicked a rock. "There's more than one reason I'm not supposed to be around you, Bella. I wasn't supposed to tell you our secret, for one thing, but the other part is that it's not safe for you. If I get too mad…too upset…you might get hurt."

"When you were mad before…when I was yelling at you… and you were shaking…?"

"Yeah." His face dropped even lower. "That was pretty stupid of me. I have to keep a better hold on myself. I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But…I just got so upset that I was going to lose you...that you couldn't deal with what I am…"

"What would happen…if you got too mad?" I whispered.

My hand lifted up to trace my hidden scars on my face unconsciously. I knew perfectly well what happened when a werewolf got too mad.

"I'd turn into a wolf," he whispered back.

"You don't need a full moon."

He rolled his eyes. "Hollywood's version doesn't get much right."

Then he sighed, and was serious again. "You don't need to be so stressed out, Bells. We're going to take care of this.

And we're keeping a special eye on Charlie and the others – we won't let anything happen to him. Trust me on that."

I sighed quietly and relief. Jacob smiled and rubbed my back soothingly.

"Wait, Jake. If Laurent died months ago, then someone is still hunting now?" I prayed and hoped it was just Victoria.

Jacob nodded; his teeth clenched together, and he spoke through them. "There were two of them. We thought his mate would want to fight us – in our stories, they usually get pretty pissed off if you kill their mate .but she just keeps running away, and then coming back again. If we could figure out what she was after, it would be easier to take her down. But she makes no sense. She keeps dancing around the edges, like she's testing our defenses, looking for a way in – but in where? Where does she want to go? Sam thinks she's trying to separate us, so she'll have a better chance…"

I shuddered, though I highly doubted that was the case.

I thought of my dad, out in the woods where Victoria was hunting and my stomach churned sickeningly.

I turned away from him quickly, and leaned over the tree trunk. My body convulsed with useless heaves, my empty stomach contracting with horrified nausea, though there was nothing in it to expel.

Jacob's hands caught my shoulders – kept me from sliding forward onto the rocks. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek. "Bella! What's wrong?"

"Victoria," I gasped as soon as I could catch my breath around the nauseous spasms.

I felt Jacob pull me up from my slump. He draped me awkwardly across his lap, laying my limp head against his shoulder. He struggled to balance me, to keep me from sagging over, one way or the other. He brushed the sweaty hair back from my face.

"Who?" Jacob asked. "Can you hear me, Bella? Bella?"

"She wasn't Laurent's mate," I moaned into his shoulder. "They were just old friends…"

"Do you need some water? A doctor? Tell me what to do," he demanded, frantic.

"I'm not sick – I'm scared," I explained in a whisper. The word scared didn't really seem to cover it.

Jacob patted my back. "Scared of this Victoria?" I nodded, shuddering. I was actually more terrified of my dad coming into contact with her. "Victoria is the red-haired female?"

I trembled again, and whimpered, "Yes."

"How do you know she wasn't his mate?"

"Laurent told me James was her mate," I explained, automatically flexing the hand with the scar.

He pulled my face around, holding it steady in his big hand. He stared intently into my eyes.

"Did he tell you anything else, Bella? This is important. Do you know what she wants?"

"Of course. She wants me."

"Why?"

"Because Edward killed her mate. She thought it was a fair turnabout. Mate for mate."

"This is important," he said again, his face all business now. "This is exactly what we needed to know. We've got to tell the others right away."

He stood, pulling me to my feet. He kept two hands on my waist until he was sure I wasn't going to fall.

"I'm okay," I lied.

He traded his hold on my waist for one of my hands. "Let's go."

He pulled me back toward the truck.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I'm not sure yet," he admitted. "I'll call a meeting. Hey, wait here for just a minute, okay?"

He leaned me against the side of the truck and released my hand.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," he promised. Then he turned and sprinted through the parking lot, across the road, and into the bordering forest. He flitted into the trees, swift and sleek as a deer.

I sighed. I had to remind myself that this was what I wanted. I wanted to be part of this. I just didn't like that I had to put Jake in danger to do so. No matter if it was just one lone revenge-bent vampire up against six werewolves.

I climbed back into my truck and waited for Jacob to get back. It didn't take long for him to come back and hop into the truck next to me.

"Where did you go just now?" I asked.

He pursed his lips, and said nothing.

"What? Is it a secret?"

He frowned. "Not really. It's kind of weird, though. I don't want to freak you out."

"I'm sort of used to weird by this point, you know." I smiled. You know, having about ten years of it now at this point.

Jacob grinned back easily. "Guess you'd have to be. Okay. See, when we're wolves, we can… hear each other."

My eyebrows pulled down in fake confusion.

"Not hear sounds," he went on, "but we can hear…thoughts – each other's anyway – no matter how far away from each other we are. It really helps when we hunt, but it's a big pain otherwise. It's embarrassing – having no secrets like that. Freaky, eh?"

"Is that what you meant last night, when you said you would tell them you'd seen me, even though you didn't want to?"

"You're quick."

"Thanks."

"You're also very good with weird.

I thought that would bother you."

"It's not…well, you're not the first person I've known who could do that. So it doesn't seem so weird to me."

"Really?… Wait – are you talking about your bloodsuckers?"

"I wish you wouldn't call them that."

He laughed. "Whatever. The Cullens, then?"

"Just Edward."

Jacob looked surprised – unpleasantly so. "I thought those were just stories. I've heard legends about vampires who could do…extra stuff, but I thought that was just a myth."

"Is anything just a myth anymore?" I asked him wryly.

He scowled. "Guess not. Okay, we're going to meet Sam and the others at the place we go to ride our bikes."

I started the truck and headed up the road.

"Will they be angry I'm with you?"

"Probably."

I bit my lip. "Maybe I shouldn't-"

"No, it's okay," he assured me. "You know a ton of things that can help us. It's not like you're just some ignorant human. You're like a…I don't know, a spy or something. You've been behind enemy lines."

My teeth snapped together and I slammed on the breaks.

He caught himself on the dashboard and then glanced at me. "What?"

"I didn't come here to be your _spy_ Jacob. If that's all I am to you, tell me now so I can leave."

He quickly put his hands up. "No, no! That's not what I meant!"

I stayed silent, glaring ahead and waited.

"Like about the red-head. Do you think she can do anything special?"

I sighed and started driving again. "He didn't say anything but it _has_ been like six months since you started hunting her. So I don't really know."

He frowned.

We were on the little dirt road where Jacob had first taught me to ride the motorcycle.

"This good?" I asked.

"Sure, sure."

I pulled over and cut the engine.

"You're still pretty unhappy, aren't you?" he murmured.

I nodded, staring unseeingly into the gloomy forest.

"Look, Bella…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sound like a traitor."

"It's alright. I'll get over it. Really."

He nodded and then sucked in a sharp breath. "They're here. Let's go."

"Are you sure? Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"They'll deal with it," he said, and then he grinned. "Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?"

I rolled my eyes when he turned his head from me and then got out to stand by Jacob.

Jake took my hand and squeezed it. "Here we go."

Indeed.

* * *

Thanks to Alice Vampire, Claire Thomas, and Canis Lupus Lover for reviewing after my short intermission :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D :D


	16. In with the Pack

I attached myself to Jacob's side, pretending to cower and be afraid. In all honesty, I was extremely curious. The only wolves I had really had contact with were Jesse and the four-well, three-good wolves in the dominant, leading pack. Jesse and the rest of them were different than the wolves that were changed because of a vampire's presence.

Again, they reminded me of brothers, quadruplets.

Or, part of a regiment in an army. I locked my teeth and forced the thought away. This pack was committed to the humans. Jacob's forcing me away was proof of that.

Something about the way they moved almost in synchronization to stand across the road from us, the way they all had the same long, round muscles under the same red-brown skin, the same cropped black hair, and the way their expressions altered at exactly the same moment.

They started out curious and cautious. When they saw me there, half-hidden beside Jacob, they all became furious in the same second.

Sam stepped out in front, an underlying fury behind the patience of his expression.

"What have you done, Jacob?" he demanded.

Paul thrust past Sam and spoke before Jacob could answer.

"Why can't you just follow the rules, Jacob?" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "What the hell are you thinking? Is she more important than everything – than the whole tribe? Than the people getting killed?"

"She can help," Jacob said quietly.

"Help!" the angry boy shouted. His arms begin to quiver. "Oh, that's likely! I'm sure the leech-lover is just dying to help us out!"

My teeth came together with a snap and a small hiss escaped from behind my teeth despite my best efforts.

My body shook with the effort of keeping where I was. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to defend the species I protected. Another hiss slipped through my teeth. I could only hope my eyes weren't orange.

Jacob glanced down at me briefly and then turned back to Paul.

"Don't talk about her like that!" Jacob shouted back, stung by the boy's criticism.

A shudder rippled through the other boy, along his shoulders and down his spine.

"Paul! Relax!" Sam commanded.

Paul shook his head back and forth, not in defiance, but as though he were trying to concentrate.

"Jeez, Paul," Jared muttered. "Get a grip."

Paul twisted his head toward Jared, his lips curling back in irritation. Then he shifted his glare in my direction. Jacob took a step to put himself in front of me.

That did it.

"Right, protect _her_!" Paul roared in outrage. Another shudder, a convulsion, heaved through his body. He threw his head back, a real growl tearing from between his teeth.

"Paul!" Sam and Jacob shouted together.

Paul seemed to fall forward, vibrating violently. Halfway to the ground, there was a loud ripping noise, and the boy exploded.

Dark silver fur blew out from the boy, coalescing into a shape more than five-times his size – a massive, crouched shape, ready to spring.

The wolf's muzzle wrinkled back over his teeth, and another growl rolled through his colossal chest. His dark, enraged eyes focused on me.

In the same second, Jacob was running across the road straight for Paul.

"Jacob!" I screamed, the protective instict I had felt only a glimpse of earlier, springing into life.

Mid-stride, a long tremor shivered down Jacob's spine. He leaped forward, diving headfirst into the empty air.

With another sharp tearing sound, Jacob exploded, too. He burst out of his skin – shreds of black and white cloth blasted up into the air. It happened so quickly that if I'd blinked, I'd have missed the entire transformation. One second it was Jacob diving into the air, and then it was the gigantic, russet brown wolf charging the crouched silver beast.

Jacob met the other werewolf's attack head-on. Their angry snarls echoed like thunder off the trees.

The black and white scraps – the remains of Jacob's clothes – fluttered to the ground where he'd disappeared.

"Jacob!" I screamed again, staggering forward-the protective instinct fueling my movements.

"Stay where you are, Bella," Sam ordered. It was hard to hear him over the roar of the fighting wolves. They were snapping and tearing at each other, their sharp teeth flashing toward each other's throats. The Jacob-wolf seemed to have the upper hand – he was visibly bigger than the other wolf, and it looked like he was stronger, too.

He rammed his shoulder against the gray wolf again and again, knocking him back toward the trees.

"Take her to Emily's," Sam shouted toward the other boys, who were watching the conflict with rapt expressions. Sam ran after the two wolves as they disappeared into the forest, kicking off his shoes on the way.

Suddenly, the sound cut off and it was very quiet on the road.

Embry started laughing. I ignored him, staring in the direction the other three had disappeared off to.

I was dimly aware of them talking and gathering the clothes.

I was too busy contemplating what I had just seen.

I had seen Jay phase a hundred different times. It was absolutely nothing like what I had just seen. For one, Jay didn't have to get new clothes every time he phased. But obviously this different Quileute pack did. It was a very different pack then Jay's. Sam was obviously the Alpha of this pack, while with Jay's pack, they were all an Alpha in their own right. It kept them honest…well, mostly.

Fingers snapped in front of my face and I glanced up sharply, my muscles tensed automatically.

Quil peered down at me. "You in there?"

My eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm fine."

"Jake should have warned us," Embry complained.

"He shouldn't have brought his girlfriend into this. What did he expect?" Jared said.

"Well, the wolf's out of the bag now." Embry sighed. "Way to go, Jake."

I raised my head to glare at the three boys who seemed to be taking this all so lightly. "Aren't you worried about them at all?" I demanded.

Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I wondered at their origin. Of course, they weren't worried. They were wolves. They healed easily. So why in the world had I asked the question in the first place?

The reaction I got was exactly what I had expected. But I played my part.

Embry blinked once in surprise "Worried? Why?"

"They could hurt each other!"

Embry and Jared guffawed.

"I hope Paul gets a mouthful of him," Jared said. "Teach him a lesson."

"Yeah, right!" Embry disagreed. "Did you see Jake? Even Sam couldn't have phased on the fly like that. He saw Paul losing it, and it took him, what, half a second to attack? The boy's got a gift."

I frowned. A gift? Were these extraordinary wolves being chosen to be part of Jay's pack? Was that how everything was being chosen. I shuddered, I prayed that Jacob would not be the next Alpha pack member.

"Paul's been fighting longer. I'll bet you ten bucks he leaves a mark."

"You're on. Jake's a natural. Paul doesn't have a prayer."

They shook hands, grinning.

Quil winked at me when I caught his eye and rolled his eyes at Embry and Jared. I gave a timid smile back.

"Let's go see Emily. You know she'll have food waiting." Embry looked at me. "Mind giving us a ride?"

"Sure thing." I muttered, turning toward my truck.

Jared caught my shoulder as I turned. "Hold up. Maybe one of us should drive."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, for one we know the way better than you do. And also, you're shaking."

I looked down at my hands and realized with surprise that he was right.

"It's just the shock," I assured him.

"Where are the keys?" Embry asked.

I sighed and turned towards the passenger side. "Ignition."

I hoped into the passenger side and waited.

"You two will have to ride in the back," he told Jared and Quil.

Embry opened the passenger-side door. "In you go," he said cheerfully, hauling me up from the ground with one hand and stuffing me into my seat. He appraised the available space.

"You'll have to ride in the back," he told the others.

"That's fine. I don't want to be in there when she faints." I snorted quietly. Please. Faint because I saw a werewolf fight? As if.

"I bet she's tougher than that. She runs with vampires."

"Five bucks?" Jared asked.

"Done. I feel guilty, taking your money like this."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back as Embry drove us back toward the village.

"Hey, how did Jake get around the injunction anyway?"

I kept my eyes closed while I played along. "The what?"

Embry drove us back toward the village.

"Er, the order. You know, to not spill the beans. How did he tell you about this?"

"Oh, that," I said. "He didn't. I guessed right."

Embry pursed his lips, I could imagine him looking surprised. "Hmm. S'pose that would work."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Emily's house. She's Sam's girlfriend…no, fiancée, now, I guess. They'll meet us back there after Sam gives it to them for what just happened. And after Paul and Jake scrounge up some new clothes, if Paul even has any left."

"Does Emily know about…?"

"Yeah. And hey, don't stare at her. That bugs Sam."

I frowned at him. "Why would I stare?"

Of course, I knew why. But with Sam not remembering me, I wasn't supposed to have ever seen Emily.

Embry looked uncomfortable. "Like you saw just now, hanging out around werewolves has its risks."

I shuddered slightly. How well I knew that fact. I hoped Embry didn't notice.

Embry asked a couple more questions but he seemed to understand I didn't really want to talk so most of the ride to Emily's was in silence. I didn't open my eyes until the truck stopped.

Embry opened the truck door and inhaled. "Mmm, Emily's cooking."

Jared and Quil jumped out of the back of the truck and headed for the door, but Embry stopped Jared with one hand on his chest. He looked at me meaningfully, and cleared his throat.

"I don't have my wallet on me," Jared said.

"That's okay. I won't forget."

They climbed up the one step and entered the house without knocking. I followed after taking a deep breath.

It was exactly as I had remembered it. It didn't appear that anything had changed.

After a few moments she spoke. "You guys hungry?" in a melodic voice, and she turned to face us full on, a smile on half of her face.

The right side of her face was scarred from hairline to chin by three thick, red lines, livid in color though they were long healed. One line pulled down the corner of her dark, almond-shaped right eye, another twisted the right side of her mouth into a permanent grimace.

I turned my face down as my own scars throbbed in a painful reminder of the danger of being around young werewolves.

"Oh," Emily said, surprised. "Who's this?"

I looked up, trying to focus on the left half of her face.

"Bella Swan," Jared told her, shrugging. Apparently, I'd been a topic of conversation before. Shocker.

"Who else?"

"Leave it to Jacob to find a way around," Emily murmured. She stared at me, and neither half of her once-beautiful face was friendly. "So, you're the vampire girl."

I stiffened. "Yes. Are you the wolf girl?"

She laughed, as did Embry, Quil, and Jared. The left half of her face warmed. "I guess I am." She turned to Jared. "Where's Sam?"

"Bella, er, surprised Paul this morning."

Emily rolled her good eye. "Ah, Paul," she sighed. "Do you think they'll be long? I was just about to start the eggs."

"Don't worry," Embry told her. "If they're late, we won't let anything go to waste."

Emily chuckled, and then opened the refrigerator. "No doubt," she agreed. "Bella, are you hungry? Go ahead and help yourself to a muffin."

"Thanks." I took one from the plate and started nibbling around the edges. It was delicious, and it felt good in my tender stomach. Embry picked up his third and shoved it into his mouth whole.

"Save some for your brothers," Emily chastised him, hitting him on the head with a wooden spoon. The word surprised me, but the others thought nothing of it. Though I suppose the word was accurate enough for the situation.

The front door opened, and Sam stepped through.

"Emily," he said, and so much love saturated his voice that I felt embarrassed, intrusive, as I watched him cross the room in one stride and take her face in his wide hands. He leaned down and kissed the dark scars on her right cheek before he kissed her lips.

"Hey, none of that," Jared complained. "I'm eating."

"Then shut up and eat," Sam suggested, kissing Emily's ruined mouth again.

"Ugh," Embry groaned.

This was worse than any romantic movie; this was so real that it sang out loud with joy and life and true love. I put my muffin down and folded my arms across my empty chest. I stared at the flowers, trying to ignore the utter peace of their moment, and the wretched throbbing of my wounds.

Aaron's presence wrapped itself around me and I took comfort in it.

I was grateful for the distraction when Jacob and Paul came through the door, laughing. While I watched, Paul punched Jacob on the shoulder and Jacob went for a kidney jab in return. They laughed again. They both appeared to be in one piece.

Jacob scanned the room, his eyes stopping when he found me leaning, awkward and out of place, against the counter in the far corner of the kitchen.

"Hey, Bells," he greeted me cheerfully. He grabbed two muffins as he passed the table and came to stand beside me. "Sorry about before," he muttered under his breath. "How are you holding up?"

"Don't worry, I'm okay. Good muffins." I picked mine back up and started nibbling again. My chest felt better as soon as Jacob was beside me.

"Oh, man!" Jared wailed, interrupting us.

I looked up, and he, Quil and Embry were examining a fading pink line on Paul's forearm. Embry was grinning, exultant.

"Did you do that?" I whispered to Jacob, remembering the bet.

"I barely touched him. He'll be perfect by sundown."

"By sundown?" I looked at the line on Paul's arm. How great it would be if I could heal that fast.

"Wolf thing," Jacob whispered.

I nodded. There was a question on the edge of my tongue. I clenched my teeth together, trying to hold it back. But in the end it was no use.

"You okay?" I asked him under my breath.

"Not a scratch on me." His expression was smug.

"Hey, guys," Sam said in a loud voice, interrupting all the conversations going on in the small room. Emily was at the stove, scraping the egg mixture around a big skillet, but Sam still had one hand touching the small of her back, an unconscious gesture. "Jacob has information for us."

Paul looked unsurprised. Jacob must have explained this to him and Sam already. Or… they'd just heard his thoughts.

"I know what the redhead wants." Jacob directed his words toward Jared and Embry. "That's what I was trying to tell you before." He kicked the leg of the chair Paul had settled into.

"And?" Jared asked.

Jacob's face got serious. "She is trying to avenge her mate – only it wasn't the black-haired leech we killed. The Cullens got her mate last year, and she's after Bella now."

This wasn't news to me, but I still shivered.

Jared, Quil, Embry, and Emily stared at me with open-mouthed surprise.

"She's just a girl," Embry protested.

"I didn't say it made sense. But that's why the bloodsucker's been trying to get past us. She's been heading for Forks."

They continued to stare at me, mouths still hanging open, for a long moment. I ducked my head.

"Excellent," Jared finally said, a smile beginning to pull up the corners of his mouth. "We've got bait."

I lifted my head and grinned. At the same moment, Jacob was throwing a can opener at his head.

"Bella is _not _bait."

"You know what I mean," Jared said, unabashed.

"So we'll be changing our patterns," Sam said, ignoring their squabble. "We'll try leaving a few holes, and see if she falls for it. We'll have to split up, and I don't like that, even if we are evenly split. But if she's really after Bella, she probably won't try to take advantage of our divided numbers. Paul, Jared, and Embry will take the outer perimeter, and Jacob, Quil and I will take the inner. We'll collapse in when we've got her trapped."

Sam caught my eye. "Jacob thinks it would be best if you spent as much time as possible here in La Push. She won't know where to find you so easily, just in case."

"What about my dad?" I demanded.

"March Madness is still going," Jacob said. "I think Billy and Harry can manage to keep Charlie down here when he's not at work."

"Wait," Sam said, holding one hand up. His glance flickered to Emily and then back to me. I knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth.

"That's what Jacob thinks is best, but you need to decide for yourself. You should weigh the risks of both options very seriously. You saw this morning how easily things can get dangerous here, how quickly they get out of hand. If you choose to stay with us, I can't make any guarantees about your safety."

"I won't hurt her," Jacob mumbled, looking down.

Sam acted as if he hadn't heard him speak. "If there was somewhere else you felt safe…"

"I won't lead her anywhere else," I said firmly.

Sam nodded. "That's true. It's better to have her here, where we can end this."

My eyes narrowed slightly. "What makes you think it'll be that easy."

Jared snorted. "Please. It's one lone bloodsucker against six of us."

I glared. "If it was that easy, why isn't she dead already?"

Paul gave a small snarl. "Don't assume what you don't know."

I glowered at him. "You're faster than vampires. You were made to kill them. You claim it to be so easy and I'm sure if you were dealing with a normal one, it would be. But obviously, something is going on here. If not on your side, then on hers because she has been hunting for six months. And people are being killed."

That shut them up.

"Food's ready," Emily announced then, and the strategic conversation was history. The guys hurried to surround the table – which looked tiny and in danger of being crushed by them – and devoured the buffet-sized pan of eggs Emily placed in their midst in record time. Emily ate leaning against the counter like me – avoiding the bedlam at the table – and watched them with affectionate eyes. Her expression clearly stated that this was her family.

All in all, it was quite different from what I had become accustomed to in a pack of werewolves.

I spent the day in La Push, the majority of it in Billy's house. He left a message on Dad's phone and at the station, and dad showed up around dinnertime with two pizzas. It was good he brought two larges; Jacob ate one all by himself.

I saw dad eyeing the two of us suspiciously all night, especially the much-changed Jacob.

He asked about the hair; Jacob shrugged and told him it was just more convenient.

I knew that as soon as dad and I were headed home, Jacob would take off – off to run around as a wolf, as he had done intermittently through the entire day. He and his brothers of sorts kept up a constant watch, looking for some sign of Victoria's return. But since they'd chased her away from the hot springs last night – chased her halfway to Canada, according to Jacob – she'd yet to make another foray.

I had no hope at all that she might just give up. I didn't have that kind of luck.

Jacob walked me to my truck after dinner and lingered by the window, waiting for dad to drive away first.

"Don't be afraid tonight," Jacob said, while dad pretended to be having trouble with his seat belt. "We'll be out there, watching."

"I won't worry about myself," I promised.

"You're silly. Hunting vampires is fun. It's the best part of this whole mess."

I shook my head. "If I'm silly, then you're dangerously unbalanced."

He chuckled. "Get some rest, Bella. You look exhausted."

"I'll try."

Dad honked his horn impatiently.

"See you tomorrow," Jacob said. "Come down first thing."

"I will."

Dad followed me home. I paid scant attention to the lights in my rearview mirror. Instead, I wondered where Sam and Jared and Embry and Paul were, out running in the night. I wondered if Jacob had caught up to them yet.

When we got home, I hurried for the stairs, but dad was right behind me.

"What's going on, Bella?" he demanded before I could escape.

I sighed. "Dad. If I tell you, it would be very dangerous. Just let I go."

"I can't let it go, Bella. You're my daughter."

"I know, dad. But you would just get in the way. Trust me."

He sighed. "Fine."

"Besides, Sam and his fiancé, Emily are really nice."

His face changed. "I hadn't heard that he and Emily had made it official. That's nice. Poor girl."

"Do you know what happened to her?"

"Mauled by a bear, up north, during salmon spawning season – horrible accident. It was more than a year ago now. I heard Sam was really messed up over it."

"That's horrible," I echoed. More than a year ago. I'd bet that meant it had happened when there was just one werewolf in La Push. I shuddered at the thought of how Sam must have felt every time he looked at Emily's face.

Probably similar to the way Jay and Aaron looked at me when they saw my scars on my face and chest.

That night as I tried to sleep, I thought of Jacob and his brothers, out running in the darkness. I fell asleep imagining the wolves, invisible in the night, guarding me from danger. When I dreamed, I stood in the forest again, but I didn't wander. I was holding Emily's scarred hand as we faced into the shadows and waited anxiously for our werewolves to come home.

And while I dreamed, I recognized the jealous growl of the vampire that I had left at home.

* * *

Thanks to Alice Vampire, Canis Lupus Lover, Angel, and Claire Thomas for reviewing!


	17. Victoria

The days started to blur together as my life slowly started to pick itself up again.

I was completely part of the pack now.

Two more wolves had joined us, Leah and Seth Clearwater. Leah was a pretty, bitter thing. But then, I would be too if I was forced to share the thoughts of someone whom I still loved but they loved someone else. So, surprisingly Leah and I got along pretty well. It was probably cause I understood her situation and didn't judge her.

I had also managed to save Harry Clearwater's life. Although, no one knew that except for me.

I was around the Elders a lot because the pack was out chasing Victoria. I had been watching Harry and noticed his complexion was looking a little pale. I had brought him an apple juice but slipped a healing potion inside the cup while he wasn't looking. A couple days later, he had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. He had barely managed to survive but he had. His heart attack was actually what had triggered the change in his kids. They didn't mind so much. After all, they still had their father.

It was the end of September 2006 now. I had graduated High School and was now a freshman at the University of Washington. But I only took online classes. Victoria was still after me and I refused to subject any more people to her wrath. So I only really went down there every week or so. Typically, two wolves accompanied me down there just in case. I hadn't reactivated the memory devices on the wolves for them to remember and I hadn't had my dad forget either. It made it much easier to live at home when I didn't have to lie to him all the time. He knew why I was at home and he didn't complain about it.

I saw Angela every week too. Her and Ben were still going strong. I had a feeling that Angela suspected I was dealing with the crazy people but she didn't ask and I didn't offer any information. It was safer for her that way.

And so my life continued on.

My days were spent down at La Push; my nights at home doing homework, and my weekends were spent working down at the Newton's place.

Everything was going good-well, as good as life can get with a vampire hunting you-until one day everything came to a screeching halt.

I had gone down to Jacob's place to meet up with him. Jacob, Seth, Embry, and myself were going to go to a movie or something. Break up the routine, have some fun, and other things like that.

I knocked quietly on the door.

"C'mon in, Bella," Billy said.

He was at the kitchen table, eating cold cereal.

"Jake sleeping?"

"Er, no." He set his spoon down, and his eyebrows pulled together.

"What happened?" I demanded. I could tell from his expression that something had.

His eyes were staring holes into the table.

"Billy. What happened?"

He sighed. "Kim's missing."

"Kim? As in, Jared's imprint Kim?"

He nodded and my breath came out in a whoosh.

I gripped the nearby counter for support. "What happened?" My voice was barley above a whisper.

He got up and gently led me over to the table. I sat down woodenly.

"Jared went to go see her this morning when he caught a fresh trail. It was in town. He followed it to her house. When he got there, her parents said that she wasn't there this morning. They weren't worried but he could smell the bloodsucker's scent. He took off after it but they can't find either of them."

"Damn," I swore silently. "How long have they been searching?"

He glanced at the clock. "Five hours now."

Five hours. And that was only searching. Who knows how long Kim had actually been missing.

Kim could easily be dead or changing

I shook and stood up abruptly. Billy glanced at me.

"I'll be down at the beach," I told him before I bolted out of there. I didn't wait for a reply.

Except, I didn't go to the beach. Sure, I made it look like I did just in case Billy was watching. But really, I headed over to Kim's house.

I hid amongst the trees until the parents left-the siblings were still at school- and then quietly slipped into her house.

I could feel Victoria's presence the moment I stepped inside. I shuddered. More people hurt by me. Would the cycle never end?

I shook my head and quickly made my way up to Kim's room. I wrapped the air around me to hide my scent just in case Victoria or the wolves came back. It wouldn't do for either side to find my scent in here.

My head swiveled from side to side as my senses scanned the room. Something was wrong-besides the fact that Victoria had ventured into town and had escaped unnoticed. I knew Victoria's presence. Knew it by heart. I also knew Kim's presence by heart. But there was something here besides Victoria and Kim's presences. Something as unfamiliar as it was familiar. It weighed on my mind but I couldn't figure it out so I moved on.

I scanned her room looking for any type of clue. A note, a foot out of place, a presence that was completely Victoria…. anything.

I had just about given up when my foot crumpled something beneath my foot. I looked down. A single piece of paper was sticking out ever so slightly from underneath her bed.

I turned it over and froze at the words written on it.

_I do so look forward to seeing you…_

_Mistress McCarthy_

I took a moment before I remembered how to breathe.

Victoria knew who I was. Did that mean she was working for Tasha and Maria then? If that was the case, Kim was as good as dead. But something told me that she wasn't.

"I'M NOT ABANONDONIGN HER!"

I jumped at the too-close voice of Jared. Inhibitions and secrets cast aside, I turned into air just in time to see the pack, minus Jacob, Paul, Seth, and Leah, come into the room.

"I'm not giving up looking for her Jared," Sam explained patiently. "But searching around blindly is not getting us anywhere."

Embry put a hand on Jared's shoulder. "We'll find her, Jared."

Jared snarled slightly.

I was watching too much where I was going, so when I turned to leave I ended up tripping Quil.

"Oof!"

The rest of them looking down at Quil in astonishment. He rubbed his head embarrassed.

But when he had fallen, he had stirred the air. And I had recognized the third presence. Or the third scent.

Except it wasn't a scent at all. It just couldn't be….

Could it?

I bolted out before I was discovered.

* * *

Two weeks passed and still no sign of either Kim or Victoria. I didn't bother to go home to Forks anymore. The wolves were super worried so they gathered all their charges into a single house and left a couple wolves as guard wolves while the rest hunted.

What frightened me was that I had as much of an idea where Kim was as the wolves did.

Which meant that I didn't have a clue.

Which was really something considering that I was an air elemental.

It was as if they had both disappeared from Washington.

Which was concerning enough already. Then you add the note left for me and the concern level doubled.

Usually those who wanted to _meet_ me didn't want to play hide and seek. The fact that she had hid after kidnapping Kim…

I didn't know what it meant but it scared me to death.

Those of us at the "safe house" which was mainly the families and the imprints didn't talk much anymore. We were too scared. Well, they were. I just pretended to be. I was more worried than scared.

The theme song for Law and Order came on through the soft murmur of voices and it took me a minute to figure out that it was my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bells."

I smiled slightly and then moved as much out of ear shot as I could. "Hey dad."

"Still no sign?"

"No. We haven't found Kim yet."

"And the supernatural one?"

I glanced at Embry-one of the guards for the day-and noticed he was listening but trying hard to make it seem like he wasn't. Him and Paul were in human form so they wouldn't be able to hear my dad's end of the conversation. Just mine.

"No, Sam's not here. You can talk to Embry though."

Dad paused as he processed what I said. "Oh. They're listening."

"Yes."

He sighed. "Do you think Kim is still alive?"

"I don't know. I hope so."

"Are you going to go look for her?"

"I don't know yet."

"Alright. Well, I just wanted to check up on you. Be safe, Bella."

I felt a flicker on the edge of my senses and changed my next sentence.

"I will. I'll see you in a few minutes."

He hesitated. "Are you going looking now?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "Alright. Be careful, Bella. I love you."

"Love you too, Dad."

I hung up and Embry trotted over to me. "Where are you going?"

"Forks. Dad wants to see me at the station."

He frowned.

"I'll be okay. Besides you can't leave them alone."

"You're the one she's after Bella."

I shook my head though he was more right than he imagined. "Obviously not anymore. She's changed her game plan. I'll be fine."

"All right," he agreed reluctantly. "Call us when you get there."

I nodded. "I will."

I turned and quickly made my way to my car and headed back towards Forks. I had only felt the one flicker of Victoria's psyche and then it was gone.

But as I took the winding road that was diagonal from the cliffs that I had seen the boys jumping from so long ago, a flash of orange caught my attention.

I pulled over to the side and slammed on my brakes.

I jumped out and glanced over the ocean towards the cliffs.

I could no longer see her but I could feel her more clearly. I could also feel that there were no wolves around.

I concentrated-my eyes going translucent- on the air molecules around me.

I was looking for minute traces in the air that only I could see. Even my fellow leader elementals couldn't see the traces I tracked. The traces I looked for usually lasted for about three days before the dissolved back to normal. They were traces that were only left by supernatural creatures. It was as clear to me as a bleeding human was to a vampire. It looked like what you might expect after two lightning bolts collided with each other horizontally- small specs of glowing blue, yellow, and red lit up the air around me and formed a trail.

The traces were not what I expected.

Victoria was on the cliffs. I knew that. So there should have been a large concentration of specs because she was still there. But there were barley any at all.

My eyes narrowed in confusion and wariness.

Double checking to make sure no one was around, I launched myself through the air and landed on the cliff side three seconds later.

I glanced around and then took off into the trees. My feet glided over the dirt and rocks without a sound.

A couple minutes later, a good 10 miles from the cliff's edge, I skidded to the stop as Victoria's molecules suddenly swirled around me in an unrealistic concentration. I let my eyes return to normal- mainly so I could _see_- and swore silently. I had been right.

I didn't need my senses to know she was behind me.

I didn't turn around and she didn't move. Neither of us said anything for several minutes.

"I didn't expect you to hide after you had kidnapped a human."

She laughed. "I didn't think it would take you this long to come look for me."

I turned around slowly and calmly to look into her red-rimmed, but translucent eyes.

"You hide your gift exceptionally well," I told her.

She grinned hauntingly and shrugged, jostling her prize.

Her prize was the limp and unconscious-but alive- form of Kim Reed.

"I'm surprised you didn't figure it out sooner, McCarthy."

I gave her that one. "Me too. Though, I'm rather surprised you didn't kill her."

She shrugged.

I was getting anxious. Kim's breathing was growing labored and I could feel the wolves coming closer. My cell rang but I ignored it.

We stood facing each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

Victoria's hand flashed upward but I had been waiting.

I flew forward and smashed my foot into her chest, sending both her and kim flying.

At the same moment, I felt a couple of wolves break out into a run as they caught onto Victoria's scent.

She sensed this too and sent her molecules flying while she took off back towards the cliffs. I followed as I had a revelation.

She could have gotten through to the wolves at anytime. She had been playing with them.

I huffed as I struggled to keep up with her. Turns out, she was one of the few vampires who used the air to aid her in running.

But she didn't want to mess with both me and the wolves. At the edge of the cliff, she flung the still-alive-Kim down into the water and then took off. I hesitated for only a moment.

I winced when I heard the distinct _slap_ when Kim hit the water and prayed she was still alive as I dove in after her.

The waves were slamming into her but I built a blockade around us as I dragged her upwards at the same time I quickly injected a small healing vile into her bloodstream.

We broke to the surface then, three wolves standing on the edge. They were too high up to be able to tell who anyone was except for Jacob.

"JACOB!" I screamed, making sure the wind carried my voice. "I HAVE KIM!"

I felt more than saw Jared stop and turn back as the others made their way down to the beach.

As I made my way towards the shore, I shook Kim.

"Kim! Kim, wake up! C'mon, Kim! Kim!"

After about twenty seconds, she groaned and opened her eyes. "Wha…?"

"Thank heaven. It's going to be okay, Kim. You're safe now."

She looked up at me blankly.

"We're almost to Jared."

Jared, who had changed back with the others into human-and thankfully put shorts on- was standing ankle deep in the water as I made the last few feet to him.

"Easy," I warned him as he took her from me. "I don't know if anything is broken."

He nodded and then hugged her to his chest tightly as the whispered silently to her.

Jacob approached me. "What were you doing here?"

"I was driving back to see my dad when I spotted her in the ocean."

"Did you see Victoria?"

"Yes, but she didn't pay me any attention."

He nodded and then we headed back home and then to the hospital.

We could only pray that her mind would heal as much as her body.

END NEW MOON

* * *

Sorry, about the wait! I won't go into details but its been crazy here in WA, USA. Hope you enjoyed :D Next one will be out soon!

Thanks to all my AMAZING REVIEWERS! You kept me interested in the story :D


End file.
